Can't I text Smokey and say, "Make me a reasonable offer and the house goes away?"
You are in NO position to negotiate with Smokey because you are operating from emotions instead of seeing this as a business transaction. Don't CAVE in...seriously!
Also, if my suspicions are correct, my MIL is probably chomping at the bit right now. She is a former realtor. She has probably orchestrated this whole sale.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Also, if my suspicions are correct, my MIL is probably chomping at the bit right now. She is a former realtor. She has probably orchestrated this whole sale.
So what? This doesn't change the basic fact: the house needs to be sold. You are filled with some God-awful anxiety and spinning out of control right now. This is not a position being in control and confident at all.
Stop. Step away and call Job NOW. She's offered for you to call her at anytime. Now is as good time as any. You need to be talked off the ledge, Heather. Don't do anything stupid.
Heather, I don't blame him...the house is setting there empty and no one paying the mortgage or the utilities but him. You do realize that he could come back and request that you pay half of the mortgage and utilities from the time you walked out? Not saying that he will, but your name is on the mortgage as well. If you aren't planning to return to the home, then it's time to seriously think about signing the papers to get this elephant off your back. You want your name removed from this mortgage so that you can move on and not have it hanging over you.
Now I'm getting snarky, but...who cares how he's paying the mortgage just as long as it's getting paid? That's not your concern unless he comes back wants you to pay a share of it. Why do you care about the home inspection? It most likely was sold as is and the purchasers will do a "flip" and then have it inspected when the repairs are made, etc. Again, not your concern.
Heather, you indicated several times to him, his father and your lawyer what you wanted and this has been going on since April 2014 and probably longer w/o legal representation, but the bottom line is this, he's not going to settle in a peaceable manner because you are asking for half his retirement, spousal support and child support. To him, this is a lot of money, especially his retirement. No one is going to roll over and do this in a peaceable manner unless he's absolutely lost his marbles. Again, he sees this as a lot of money and it's worth fighting for, just as you see it is worth fighting for. The only way to settle this and do it properly is through the legal system and since you both can't come to some understanding, it goes to court and everything will be spelled out in the divorce decree that you both will sign, date and be notarized. That's why you have a hearing to begin the negotiating process and get the ball rolling on finalizing the assets, bills, etc.
You are the only way that can determine whether to sign the papers or not...but if I were in your shoes, I'd have signed those papers after speaking to the realtor because you really have nothing to gain by not doing so except your freedom and your name off the loan.
Choose your battles wisely and I don't see the house as a negotiable point since it's under water, per se.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I would sign the papers today and let the house be sold if you are comfortable with the sale price. It will all be on the record and has taken place after the divorce papers were filed. The court will look at only the out standing loans and realtor fees as being reasonable. Any money Smokie spent to clean it up is not even going to be considered. I have look into this and asked the same questions about finishing my house and the expenses to do it prior to a sale. If smokie tries to conceal or hide the gain the court will figure it out.
Just sign the papers and do not use it as a bargaining chip. You will get half of any gain. I would be suprised otherwise.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Good. Did you keep a copy of what you signed? One less thing you have to worry about.
Now, on to other things today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
