ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Claire - way too many "F him"'s in the last few days. Gotta work on that PMA and not wasting energy on him.
Instead of this:
Quote:
D: starts crying. "I want baby doll!" H: "well, she's not here.. She's at our house" D cries more.
I had already said goodbye so I just left.
F him.
How about something more like this:
Quote:
D: starts crying. "I want baby doll!" H: "well, she's not here.. She's at our house" D cries more.
I had already said goodbye so I left.
I knew my D was in good hands and that my H would figure it out. I was really happy to have the day entirely to myself and eagerly headed off to do ...
Even though I agreed with Elsa's sentiment, I have to say zew is right. Try got get that PMA and self-confidence we've all admired back on track, but the holidays do make it difficult. I'm feeling sooooo similar today for so many reasons. Going to go post on my own thread.
Me: 38 H: 43 Kids: 2,4 T10 M6 BD: 1/14 11/14: H moves out
Thanks, everyone. Today was a tough, intense day. Big, important day at work, and I felt so anxious and off all day.
My anger this morning was mostly about what he's putting our D through. To see my sweet girl crying because a favorite toy was left at her other home was heart-breaking.
As for the fear? I don't know. Taking over all the financial stuff, being alone, a combination of a ton of stuff.
As for the fear? I don't know. Taking over all the financial stuff, being alone, a combination of a ton of stuff.
Claire, for me, figuring out my fears was critical. I was afraid of the finances. I went to see a L. Two, actually. And I dug up account statements and opened mail that I normally wouldn't. And after that I wasn't afraid. I still haven't actually taken over the finances, but at least I understand things now. And I know I'll be OK.
I was afraid that my kids lives would be ruined. And my IC made me spell out exactly how their lives would be different and what was going to be so terrible. And most of what I spelled out was really petty and easily overcome. Yes, D12 spends the night at two different places. And it's not going to scar her. She has two parents who love her and who cooperate fully in raising her. Still.
I was afraid of being alone. But you know what? I was alone a lot anyway. H travels on business a great deal, he had business dinners out, and he had what he told me were business dinners out. He wasn't home that much, ever. I got up at 5:30am every day, sometimes he was up before I left at 7:00am, sometimes he wasn't. He got home at 8:00pm or later if he was in town. On and on and on about RPP being alone. I'm good at it. I have friends. I have kids. I have cats. I'm fine.
The one thing I really miss is sex, I'll be honest about that. But the sex in the last year had not been stellar and certainly not enough of it. So even that wasn't some utopia I gave up.
Bottom line is, Claire, take some time to really think through this. Identify your fears. Look at them. What's the truth? We can build up the monster under the bed to be some terrible beast, but when we shine the flashlight, it's a dust bunny. Face your dust bunnies.
