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Thank you for this post T2. I really hope my actions are showing my girls the same you have shown your sons! God bless and it IS worth it!

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T2,
That is wonderful. I think it was very nice that your parents did this and your sons told you how the felt. You are a role model for sure and someone that they can look up to and rely on for many, many years to come.

Happy Early Birthday!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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T,

Loved your post about your family taking turns to say some positive things about you on your birthday. I'll borrow this idea for my family. Love this idea.

You've shown tremendous strength and resilience in the face of some really tough stuff. Your boys have watched a great role model of what a father and husband is supposed to look like. You've done really well and more!

How's your little band coming along?

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T2

You always seem to have some insight, the wisdom in your words also reflects in your actions and have impacted me greatly in my short time here. At the end of the day, one can only hope to walk through the situation that you have and become the kind of person who has children able to recognize and express it in that way .. speaks volumes of the father they were lucky enough to receive.

Often I question if there is a destiny to all this .. was it for us to get through the storm and become 'this' for our children's sake? ... makes ya wonder.


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Thank you all... It was so validating. grin

Wonka, the band is going well, we might have been accepted for the local music festival here this spring. Regardless it is therapy for me... wink


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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T, I'm not at all surprised that your boys look to you as a roll model of a man. I do too. Thank you for all the guidance you've given to me.


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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Quick update.

Life is going well.

S2, the supposed "non-scholar", is thriving at the IB school, 4- "4"'s and 2- "5"'s.

He went to his first dance (Mr. Introvert), I gently nudged him when he started getting nervous and wanting to back out, I told him I would stay downtown and if he would try it, if it didn't work out, then he could text me and I'd come get him. So he went. I hung out with my band mates at a club we are trying to get booked at. The dance ended at 11pm, he finally texts me at 11:30, from a cafe with his friends. He had a blast! He was soooo happy !! After we got home, he came to me, misty-eyed a bit, and thanked me, giving me a big hug and an "ILY, Dad". <--- Yeah, a 16 year old young man said and did that, wth? smile

S3, he is thriving at the IB school as well, 4- "5"'s and 2- "4"'s. He may get bumped up a grade, is in Honor's Society. He has his eyes on college scholarships already, in 7th grade...

But the attitude in the house regarding the importance of school, education and critical thinking has changed drastically, back to my family's views, since she moved out. wink

I am so grateful to watch and help them come out of their shells, come into themselves. Our R is amazing...

Our talks in the car commuting to school are just amazing, as are the dinner table talks (yes, family dinner is back at least 3-4 nights a week).

Stbxw only sees them a few hours a week, by her choice, and sometimes theirs. She has unlimited visitation, but between her choice, and the schedule of the kids, and s3's choice (he has a lot of anger at her), it is just for a couple hours on the 2 days she picks them up from school. I encourage them to spend more time with her, best that I can, but it's up to them in the end.

She, the kids, and I attended the court required "Focus on Children" class together. Very, very good class. It was very current on latest research, and included a bunch of info that we talk about here. I could tell it opened her eyes a bit, because she cried a few times. The kids had their own class with psychologists teaching and facilitating. I am very glad my state takes the effects on the kids and parental alienation VERY seriously, and is encoded in law. Pretty good for a red state in fly-over-country... wink

The final D petition is on the judge's desk, hopefully he will sign today, or early next week.

Re-fi attempt in progress. If that fails I have plans B through E planned out, hopefully I can avoid bankruptcy. If not, it is what it is and I'll bulldoze through it. It's what I do.

New Woman is just absolutely awesome, that reminds me that I need to write her XH a thank you card.... grin

My life now is soooo worth the past 3-5 years of pain, heartbreak, and work. I wouldn't trade it for anything.




Last edited by TSquared2; 01/30/15 09:00 PM.

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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TS

So there is bacon?

So nice reading and hearing someone on the other side of the forest who looks and sounds to be doing so amazing, seeing a man with the same priorities I share ... its the inspiration that I needed this week to keep doing what I am doing regardless of the outcome, good or bad I know once I get to the other side it will all be worth it.


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Quote:
So there is bacon?


It's everywhere...

This journey taught me to see it... it was always there, everywhere. I just forgot how to look for it.

wink


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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T2,
I'm so very proud of you and your sons. Look at how far all of you have come. Your sons sound like they've adjusted well w/living w/you and I'm happy to read about their accomplishments.

T, you worked so hard on yourself and keeping your family together. You have so much to be proud of. Look at you...coaching your son on going to the dance. He had a wonderful time and I'm sure he'll go to another dance in the future.

You've been supportive, the lighthouse and yes, their rock throughout your wife's crisis. You are an excellent role model for them and they will never forget how you handled this situation. I'm only sorry she didn't wake up completely and come to realize what she was losing.

As for your lady friend, take things slowly and I agree, a thank you note should be sent to her xh. LOL! Life has a funny way of making things turn out well after so much destruction.

I'm very happy you came back to provide us w/an update.

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