I think keeping "friendship" in perspective is a key here. Being friendly to someone is very different from being friends. We do those kinds of things for our kids all the time. There are some parents of kids' friends that I could be friendly to but would never be friends with.
The future will take care of itself. You can set the intention to be friendly and genuine and what happens from there happens.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Happy Thanksgiving to all! H came over this morning and made the dishes he always traditionally makes for Thanskgiving. The girls and I had made most of it yesterday, but there are his specialty dishes that he spent all day making. We had a pleasant dinner, ate some pie, watched some family tv. By the end of the evening I have to say I was ready for him to go. It was a nice day but I was ok when it ended.
Happy Thanksgiving, RPP. Glad you had an enjoyable time.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Yesterday I looked nice and spent a lot of time around H but wasn't particularly engaging. Part of it is that I still don't feel well. Part of it is that I am not feeling like I want to win him back. There was never a point where we were alone without the kids so there was that aspect too. But looking back I dont know how much he'd want me back with yesterday's performance.
The past few days H texts me more than I text him. I feel like I'm ignoring him. But it's not like I'm having to stop myself, I just don't feel like being chatty. If it was a question, I'd reply.
All in all, I'm not sure I'm doing anything to attract him back. And that's ok with me right now, but what if I change my mind later and then I've been dull and uninteresting for too long?
I wouldn't worry about any of that. When it's time, it will be time. You're doing great. Besides, I have a hard time believing that ANYONE would think you are dull and uninterested.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I wouldn't worry about any of that. When it's time, it will be time. You're doing great. Besides, I have a hard time believing that ANYONE would think you are dull and uninterested.
Thanks. And truth is, I shouldn't have to put on a performance for a guy anyway.
I learned a lesson today. I need to be clearer about drop off and pick up times for D12. I am annoyed that H kept D12 all day even though we had talked about an early afternoon drop off. But I didn't specify an exact time. So that's a lesson learned.
Lesson learned! Last week I pulled into WAW's place to drop off boys and OM car was still there. EVERYONE was upset about that one.
Specific time with a 15 minute window on either side. As time goes by hopefully you will settle into a routine.
According to DB you should be detaching and GAL right now. Maybe even going dark. If you don't step away from the relationship he is never going to miss you and you are never going to become interesting and mysterious. This is pretty hard to do with children, and every situation is different but I think the vets on here will agree... he's going to have to miss you and you need some time to make changes.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
Hi bdub! Sorry about the OM car in your face. Right now, H always drops off and picks up from my house. I drive by H's building but it's garage parking and I have no idea about the duck's car anyway. So that's good.
H has been gone less than two weeks. I only contact him about the kids schedules. I have not responded to his texts about other things. The glaring exception of course was spending the entire day Thanksgiving together. That's where I started to feel like I wasn't good enough for him. But that's dangerous territory for me, I spent a lot of years in that mindset. I cannot let myself go there again.
