No buses here. We in a VERY suburban area. They tried to bring a bus line here to link to Atlanta and the citizens were outraged that they would even consider bringing a public bus into our pristine city. UGH! The recruiting office is actually 10 miles from us so there is no way for him to get there plus it wouldn't be paid work anyway. He needs to bring in a little money so he can get a car and then he will have more options for work and school. We can't afford to pay for a car and insurance for him. He's going to have to have some income to pay for it.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Happy Birthday to Marc! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!
No making excuses. Your family needs to be "Solution Focussed". No motivation? How about some consequences?
Today I posted a story about giving independence to your child. It was NOT aimed at you (rather - at my sister) but I think you should read it & think about it.
Staying at home with no motivation will make him unmotivated, possibly depressed.
Encouraging him and not bailing him out will give him the opportunity to make a success of his life. That will conquer depression.
No more excuses, Mish. It's a long standing behavior in your life. But is it what you want for Marc?
Where is your story posted Barb? I would like to read it too. I know that my job is to raise my kids in such a way that they are able to live the fullest lives possible. I can't dictate the direction that they take. Sometimes I can only hope they will come to me when they have questions or need some guidance.
I can't live their lives for them any more than they can live mine. I used to think I had to include them in bucket list adventures and then it hit me...they may night have the same bucket list. why make myself broke including everyone when they may not even want to be on my path?
Love Marc, help him to stand on his own. Has he thought about vocational school or being an apprentice in another field that he might find interesting? Time for him to break the patterns that have held you all locked in place.
Happy thanksgiving, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat: I posted it on my wall this morning. My sister is seriously handicapping her 20 something kids - controlling and suffocating her kids - yet she does not see it for what it is. Her 26 year old daughter has never been on a date yet longs for a boyfriend. She is educated yet jobless - lives with her parents - calls them Mama and Daddy on FB where they call her Sweetie, Honey etc on FB. My daughter (same age) would unfriend me if I was so condescending to her. She spends her time pining over teen boy bands and wishing for the life she wants. But she does not get out there and make it happen. It makes me crazy but she does not want to see it for what it is.
Sorry for the hijack, Mish. Just trying to make a point. Not saying this is how you treat Marc. Just saying that it's important to encourage our kids to live life to its fullest potential.
Hey Mish, when my D20 was suspended from University her mother and I sat down with her each Sunday to review her plan of action for the coming week. We brainstormed with her but it was her job to look for a job and we followed up with her each week to see what she had and hadn't done. She hated it! There is always something he can do...even if it's volunteer work somewhere while he's waiting. Tell him he needs to do something 'cuz sitting on his butt doing nothing is not an option. I told voldy that if D20 isn't getting out there doing something then she'd better start looking for a new place to live where she can do nothing 'cuz it won't be my place (not saying you should do that, just saying that's what I said). He's been kicked in the stomach, no doubt and that takes a lot out of you but this is a time to build character. He need to brush himself off and get back out there doing something. I do feel for him, what a let down. But, doing something is better than doing nothing...a rolling stone gathers momentum. Good luck, I know how tough it is, I went through it with my D20 and thank goodness for the Xmas season 'cuz now she's at least working over 20 hours per week.
Wii, I want to thank you for the discussion over on your thread. It really has given me some new direction in my walk in faith. Things have to change or there is no hope! Thank you so much my friend.
The pathetic nonsense has to be over. Trust me, I don't dwell in that place all day but when it hits me this is the place I come to let it go and feel safe. I appreciate you all for putting up with me all these years! I truly do love and appreciate you all. I hope that one day I can return the favor for any of you that may need a shoulder.
Marc has a couple of leads on jobs. He is nearly 100% convinced that he will not get back into the Navy no matter what kind of waivers he may get. Why? Because they are now discharging people for HEARTBURN! Seriously? Not acid reflux, simple heartburn! There are at least 6 sailors in the separation unit right now being discharged because of it. Can you say 'over-recruitment' and 'backlogged paperwork'? They are trimming recruit rolls as fast as they can in any way they can regardless of how it may hurt the sailors involved. It's pitiful.
Anyway, please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that he gets a job soon.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
He is at a crossroads in his life. Many of us start out planning one career and end up in another. My son, Brandon wanted to be a Travel Agent like you. He took Travel & Tourism in college. Worked at a hotel for a bit. They LOVED him. He was always getting "employee of the month" etc. Suddenly told me he couldn't see himself wearing a suit to work for the rest of his life (say what?). So he moved back home, went back to school while still working full-time and commuted to Toronto (90 min each way). Graduated top of his class at TARA (Toronto Academy of Recording Arts). Got a job in his field and loves it.
Daughter started out in Graphic Design at college. Hated it. Switched to General and studied Nutrition. Top of her class. ALso worked full time while commuting to Nutrition School in Toronto. Still LOVES it. Has taken jobs out of her field in order to move north to be closer to me but she's now in a full-time job in her field despite a 90 min each way commute again (in snowy weather) while maintaining a part time job at the grocery store.
I'm proud of my kids and their independence. It has taught them to be strong and to trust that it will "all be ok". But I know of so many friends' kids, nieces & nephews who, at Marc's age and a bit older struggle with "what to do". My advice - Do Something. Anything. It gives them experience, ambition, cash etc. Change can be made anywhere along the way as opportunities or ideas present themselves. One must always be open to it. Like me - who'd' have ever thought I'd go from running a dance school in Niagara to becoming a landlord up north. But instantly - it all changed. And it doesn't have to be forever. Change is good.
I will be honest, I don't know much about the military thing, but can't he join another part of the services? Or is it once you are out, you are out? See, I just don't know.
S22 still loves German and history but is so tired of the college thing. He will graduate next December. Who knows what he will do.
It is kind of comforting watching D16 draw as she does. She is getting really good, still hasn't had a class. Now she is working on drawing on her computer rather than having to scan everything in and transfer it over from her camera. she could draw for hours. It is her passion. Let's see where she goes.
Marc just needs to get out there. No time for woe is me. He has to keep moving to get his confidence up.
Sorry, I hijacked a bit too.
Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
We in a VERY suburban area. They tried to bring a bus line here to link to Atlanta and the citizens were outraged that they would even consider bringing a public bus into our pristine city. UGH! The recruiting office is actually 10 miles from us so there is no way for him to get there plus it wouldn't be paid work anyway. He needs to bring in a little money so he can get a car and then he will have more options for work and school. We can't afford to pay for a car and insurance for him. He's going to have to have some income to pay for it.
Thank you so much my friend.