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hmmmmm, good observation.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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I want what you want too, rpp. The only difference is now I'm much pickier about who I want to be that man. The only man who's gonna scratch that itch for me is one who wants the job, hands down. Nobody need apply that isn't sure... smile

Quote:
The other time was when the older two were small about 1 and 3, and I had the flu, flat on my back on the couch all day. On each occasion, he came home at 8:00pm. I never asked again.


Wow, rpp. From where I sit, this clearly illustrates the man he is. Not the man you think he could be, but the zebra whose stripes are clearly visible. And these examples are awful. Awfully unkind. Awfully insensitive. Awfully uncaring.

You DO deserve better, my friend. Hold out hope that you will get what you want AND need. Shed tears of joy that you will get the kind of love you desire.

Thank you for thinking of me. It's been a really tough year. I'm definitely ready for the calendar to move to 2015. I'm predicting smoother sailing then. wink

More hugs coming your way-
Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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I took all these thoughts into IC today. We talked more about how I trained H not to take care of me. And what an eager and willing student he was.

I see all this and can talk rationally about it. I just don't know what to do about it.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
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Quote:
I see all this and can talk rationally about it. I just don't know what to do about it.


Did your C have any suggestions? I've got one for you. smile

Debbie Ford has a book called The Best Year of Your Life, which I highly recommend. You can begin any day you want--not just the first of the year. Why wait for the New Year to get started? Actually, I recommend a slew of her books. Spiritual Divorce rocked my world. So did the Secret of the Light Chaser. I've read almost all her stuff, and it's very worthwhile. I also highly recommend Cheryl Richardson and Marianne Williamson for the type of changes you want to make for yourself. They are both uplifting and wonderful.

Cheryl's big message is about self care and Marianne is the spiritual guru who puts it all in a thoughtful message.

What helped me is to define the me I wanted to become. I figured I would attract the right kind of people into my life when I got to the point where I felt good all on my own. But that's my way of doing things. It might not work for you.

I think I'm going to pull out this book tonight and start thinking about what I want for 2015 myself. So thanks for the reminder that I can start doing my homework now. wink


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

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Originally Posted By: Underdog


Did your C have any suggestions? I've got one for you. smile

Debbie Ford has a book called The Best Year of Your Life, which I highly recommend. You can begin any day you want--not just the first of the year. Why wait for the New Year to get started? Actually, I recommend a slew of her books. Spiritual Divorce rocked my world. So did the Secret of the Light Chaser. I've read almost all her stuff, and it's very worthwhile. I also highly recommend Cheryl Richardson and Marianne Williamson for the type of changes you want to make for yourself. They are both uplifting and wonderful..


IC would like me to open myself to new people and new experiences. She asked me to make a list of 10 things that I would like to do just for myself. My focus has been pretty narrow the past few years. Kids 75% H 25% RPP 0%. She is trying to shift those percentages. Just like you and labug smile

I believe I own a Cheryl Richardson book I bought a few years ago, but never got very far with. The timing was not right then for me to hear that message but I will give it a try now. I will also look for the Ford book.



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Thanks, Betsey for your awesomeness. smile


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Journaling: last night was a nothing kind of night, I spent most of it with my leg propped up. I watched some of the Heat game, and read some of my new Ford book. S19 went to dinner and spend the night with H. D16 and her bf went to dinner with friends, but picked up food for me and D12 first so I didn't have to cook. Have I mentioned I have great kids? smile

This morning's mood puts me back in the position of "I don't want to be M to this man, but I'm willing to be his friend." We exchanged a couple of texts about the logistics of Thanksgiving yesterday and it was all pleasant. I didn't respond to his text last night that was just a chatty narrative about what he and S19 had done all evening. But in my mind I was thinking why shouldn't I reply to him in the same way I'd reply to any friend? If I was willing to overlook his A to be his W, I can overlook it to be his friend. I know others have different opinions, but that's where I stand today. Ask me this afternoon, I may have a different opinion.

IC threw out some phrases and ideas yesterday that I had not previously been willing to entertain. That I will date again. That I might marry again. That I would be a good stepmother -- that one has never occurred to me at all. That I would be a good daughter in law to a different family. She's not pushing me by any means but I like how she tries to get me to think outside the box. The box I live in in pretty small these days. At the very least, I could move to a bigger box.



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Maybe because you are will to overlook the A to be his wife but to just be his friend means you have to overlook the A and the Marriage. That is my emotion about it anyway.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
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Rpp you are going to love what is waiting outside that box for you!


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
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Originally Posted By: Jefe
Maybe because you are will to overlook the A to be his wife but to just be his friend means you have to overlook the A and the Marriage. That is my emotion about it anyway.


Jefe, are you saying that I have to pretend the M didn't exist for us to be friends going forward? Can you expand on this a bit, I want to understand.

Originally Posted By: bdub
Rpp you are going to love what is waiting outside that box for you!


bdub, I keep hearing that! smile And I'm almost ready to go see what's out there. Almost. It's a little scary still. But I'm working on that.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
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