MLC W Dates, Part VI

[Jack_Three_Beans]

So when I was going through this and there wa an OM. I thought they @#$%ed on a regular basis 12 times a day.

Turns out I was really wrong, really wrong.

Now one could say once was way more than enough, point made, however it certainly wasn't what my little afraid monkey brain was telling me.

Heres the ssuck part Wet and you mentioned it, but not sure you up to living it right now.

If she is seeing a guy? What can you do about it? Worrying about it just turns the knife in your gut.

On this? Take her at her word, its better for your head.

[Wet]

D20 was sick this morning and so we decided to cancel plans to go downtown to see Christmas displays. Instead, I took d17 and s13 to go see a movie ('Big Hero 6', a really good, inspiring movie). Everyone loved the movie, when the movie was over s13 gave me a fist bump he enjoyed it so much. Took them out to eat afterward, just a good day.

D17 said she was up for discussing spiritual topics that may challenge her when she goes off to college. She is so much like me. She said "bring it on", that she has such a strong faith there is nothing that could challenge this faith. I'm smiling on the inside, b/c I know what I have gone thru in the past 2 years brought my faith to the brink. I would not wish this sort of challenge upon anyone else, let alone my daughter. Lord, protect d17's faith, and bless our upcoming discussions.

[AJM]

Jack's right, Wet. Don't twist that knife.

Seems odd that W would make a point of saying that. Regardless how YOU take it.

Glad you had a good day. Work on letting go, Wet and not letting your "monkey brain" get the better of you.

AJ

[Wet]

Thanks Jack and AJ, yes I have to work on not inflicting pain on myself. I get it.

So I called up W to see when I can pick up s13. And she's telling me she has a PARTY tonight. She has to use the condo's PARTY room, it's such a big deal.

Oh yes, I guess she forgot that she already told me from last Wednesday that it's a cookie exchange with only women. I am thinking a bit about why she now is trying to impress me about this being a PARTY. But I will not dwell on this, and instead her comment is only giving me a reason to chuckle. Here's hoping that she sends s13 to my place with a plate full of cookies.

[SemperFi00]

Wet, thanks for your comments on my thread.

Just caught up a bit on your situation - sounds like you are progressing along very well and that your kids are great.

Congratulations on that!

Thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong!

[Wet]

So I called W a few hours ago. W's nephew's wife (niece-in-law?) had surgery removing her spleen this past Wednesday, and W asked for my prayers. So when I called today, I asked how NIL was doing, and W said she was so afraid of the news that she hasn't looked at her emails all weekend. W was appreciative for my asking, and she would report back to me later.

So let me also report what W told me last Wednesday when I saw her on this same topic. She had spent the day at the hospital waiting room with the family during the NIL's 4 hour surgery. This was serious surgery (her platelets were at zero). And she told me how her nephew would be strong when around NIL, but when he came around the family he would break down crying.

Then W looked me in the eye and said "when the love of your life is facing serious surgery, it is much harder on the worried spouse than on the spouse in the hospital."

I think this is a clear reference to my decision 2 months ago during my "life threatening" health issue and surgery when I did not allow W at the hospital. And, of course, how difficult this must have been on her. Did she really make reference to me as the love of her life, or am I reading too much into this?

When I spoke to W I also mentioned that I would bring s13 back to W's place tonight a little later than usual. Then W blurted out "I really appreciate that we don't fight over our kid's schedules. There are a lot of couples that do." I agreed with her, and left it at that. I like that she is being more appreciative of me, but I can't believe it's anything more than that.

[kat727]

I wouldnt read anything into it. Anyone can say what you want to hear,Actions are what you need to look at. I worry that you keep watching her instead of trying to focus on moving your life forward.

I think I have mentioned before that the only marriages I know that made it were the ones where the LBS had totally dropped the rope. They were moving on with their lives, if not actually physically preparing to move. How their day went wasn't connected with how their spouse did anything. Get your life where you want it.

kat

[Wet]

Thanks for the reminder Kat. So did I go to far? I told s13 that if he was "naughty" Santa would give him a 6 foot Adrien Peterson Fat Head poster to hang in his bedroom. (Adrien is a superstar pro football player recently convicted of excessive child punishment.) And I would personally staple a "switch" on the poster's hand, as a reminder. Hmmmm?

[kat727]

I think that you should have contacted your nephew in regards to his wife, see if there was anything that they needed help with. You contacted your wife and it seemed maybe more like a reason to call her rather than checking in on your neice.

Also, you are still trying to understand what her meaning in when she says things. If she meant something she would show you by actions. She hasn't so she doesn't mean anything by what she says. She likes to play with your head and she must think you are game because you let her.

kat

[Wet]

Kat as always, I appreciate your sage advice. Yes, there are no actions coming from W which would justify my attempt to read into her words.

Ok, so how stupid am I being now? I just got an email from MWD, and I am considering forwarding it to my W. MWD's email talks about if you are considering a divorce after the holidays (like my W is), why not give your children the best gift of a lifetime. Working on your marriage.

I am now separated a year and a half. And there is no positive signs coming from my W. I am considering sending the email bc the real focus is working on the marriage for the kid's sake.

Ok, as I am writing this, I see the folly of my plan. Do I really want a W who returns out of duty to the kids rather than love? No, I don't. But sometimes I just want to shake things up just to see if something different happens. I hope I am making sense.