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Maybell #2510789 11/25/14 11:34 AM
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gan Offline
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Interesting. I posted a couple of days ago about how I was experiencing vivid dreams as well. They can definitely be unsettling.

Are you feeling safe in real life?


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
gan #2510795 11/25/14 12:45 PM
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I used to dream h was standing by my bed and I just woke up!

I used to wake up screaming. It sent me to hospitals for meds in the end. I thought I had completely lost my mind.

Last edited by Ggrass; 11/25/14 12:45 PM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Ggrass #2510813 11/25/14 02:35 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Missing work this morning because S6 is sick with S8's stomach bug. Didn't bother asking H to cover... Because it was never needed before. Wondering what would have happened if I had.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2510831 11/25/14 03:08 PM
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Maybell,

I'm sorry s is under the weather. That is no fun my friend. Can I toss something out there? Why bother wasting the energy on what would have happened had you contacted h? You didn't and that's perfectly fine. What does that exactly do for you?

Hope he feels better soon!:)



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Maybell Offline OP
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Thanks GB.

I don't have any leave accrued at all. I'm embarrassed to have had to call in on my 5th day (though I'll be able to go in this afternoon as H is taking the kids for the holiday after our last round of conferences).

Noting it hadn't occurred to me to ask for help was kind of a matter of facing my new reality and realizing that I actually could ask for help and had just assumed I couldn't because I never needed to before.

Too many changes this year.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2510838 11/25/14 03:29 PM
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Agree with GB but, I think it's something you and he should figure out going forward. This is a big area of past resentment for you.

Nip it in the bud.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Maybell #2510839 11/25/14 03:31 PM
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Maybelll,

I hope you didn't take what I said as dismissive. It is difficult being a working mom and when kids get sick, it makes you feel like the Earth spins on extra fast mode -). I know that no leave feeling and wondering what everyone thinks calling in afte starting a job. I understand-I do. X Mr GB called me earlier this year asking when i would be home as s4 had a stomach bug and he *wanted* to go into the office. Let me get off the tarmac first big guy:-)

Now you know you can ask h for help. We don't know the outcome, although they are his kids as well. Hang in there:-)

Last edited by Georgiabelle; 11/25/14 03:32 PM.


3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
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Hey Maybell! I see we are dealing with similar issues and feelings today. If we lived next door, I'd have your back, girl!



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
SunnyB #2510849 11/25/14 03:42 PM
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Back atcha!

Wanna snuggle? wink lol


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2510858 11/25/14 03:56 PM
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Ok, this is a real question, not snarky at all.

I have things I feel resentful about. I am struggling to let go of those things.

Resentments have been described as needs I expected someone else to meet because I wasn't willing to meet them myself.

I see my resentments as coming from the fact that he and I jointly made decisions at created a lifestyle for which we ought to have had equal (though not the same) responsibilities.

I feel like I asked him to take on some of those responsibilities but his decision not to meant that the burdens fell disproportionately on me, and that the freedom and pleasure fell disproportionately on him. this disproportion has increased by his decision to abandon altogether the life we jointly created.

So how do I let go of these resentments without taking responsibility for more than my share?

i set the boundary several weeks ago that I didn't want to be involved in he logistics of his holiday travel and yet because the children live with me I'm the one who had to rush through the laundry and pack their suitcases. How do I let go of the resentment of having been unjustly punished for his crisis when I feel like I'm the only person who is paying the price for his ch!tty coping skills?

I didn't break him, I can't fix him, why am I the one pulling out the credit card??


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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