Busting this Divorce - Standing Firm

[Wonka]

I said "in contact" in my draft as I don't want to give away I know she has seen him. Or should I do so?

Semantics. Don't worry. It's fine the way it is.

[HPoirot]

Just so I'm clear so I can manage my expectations (which means I shouldn't have any)... this is not at all to change her mind or anything like that. This is me setting my boundary... communicating what I won't tolerate.

Thank you again.

[Wonka]

Ayep. You got that right, HP.

[HPoirot]

Message sent.

This is exhausting.

I checked my weight today. I'm 6'1". I now weigh 173lbs. The lowest I've been as an adult. At the start I was 185lbs. And I've been eating recently. Again I'll have to do better.

I hope people learn from this. I want to grab every guy on the street and warn them.

Thank you all again. I'm looking forward to a peaceful day someday.

[sandi2]

I am telling you that OM is not the issue.

If OM is "no more or no less", then you trust her wisdom and love for her family to do the right thing in her decisions. You appreciate that she recognizes how this caused great pain for you, and hope she can understand that OM is indeed an issue for you.

[HPoirot]

I am telling you that OM is not the issue.

If OM is "no more or no less", then you trust her wisdom and love for her family to do the right thing in her decisions. You appreciate that she recognizes how this caused great pain for you, and hope she can understand that OM is indeed an issue for you.

Thank you for that Sandi. I want to send that to her too.

Oh well... she just pulled up. Let's go for more.

[Wonka]

You can use that in the back pocket for the right time. Sandi has great suggestions and ideas.

Stay strong tonight!

[HPoirot]

Response...

Got it.

HP, I will cease contact with OM. But you need to know it doesn't change anything. You cannot trust me..I have ruined that and fully accept responsibility for it. I am deeply sorry you were hurt by my actions.

If anything, I am very clear that I want to seperate. Its best. Whether we go to counseling or not, I am not interested to work on anything but how to seperate in the least disruptive way we can. I think we will both become clearer about who we are and what we want if we can spend some time apart. At least that's what I think.

I propose we find a two bedroom apt. I will still be with you and S11.but will also spend time at my aunts. Then in June we can see where we are and if we want to permanently end things or not.

I am sorry. I wish we would have engaged in counseling weeks ago.

So we need to continue to work on how to move forward. But not as a couple.

I know this means nothing.

Still a long way to go.

Transparency then? Doesn't look like w is ready for that. I told her about it weeks ago.

Thank you all again for helping me get this far.

[Wonka]

HP,

There's been a flurry of emails/texts back and forth today. I really think you do need to step back a bit and catch a breath. You can respond to W sometime later...say tomorrow.

You need to take care of yourself. You've been battered emotionally. Your energy levels are low today for they've been sapped by this back and forth...aren't they?

Is this how you feel?

[HPoirot]

HP,

There's been a flurry of emails/texts back and forth today. I really think you do need to step back a bit and catch a breath. You can respond to W sometime later...say tomorrow.

You need to take care of yourself. You've been battered emotionally. Your energy levels are low today for they've been sapped by this back and forth...aren't they?

Is this how you feel?

I feel worse than that. Beyond tired.

She's not done though. She's here. We had a really nice conversation about her day before she wrote her last email. Then she went upstairs without a word and wrote another.

Some of it...

HP..regardless of the past mistakes we have both made..you still remained true to us. I haven't. I fell out of love with you a very long time ago. Instead of telling you the truth, instead of fighting. . I remained and became increasingly resentful of our lives...our lack of real passion, of shared interests...of a real and deep connection to building a family in a home of our own...our lack of any sustainable familial relationships and friendships..our lack of a spiritual life...

But despite this...we were able to be kind to each other. .have some very good times..give our boy a great life.

I am grateful to you for always working so hard for us. I wish things could be different. I am terribly sad about all of this.

In this very moment....I want you to know that you are one of the best people I have ever known. With all my heart I only want the best for you. I wish things were different.

I wish I could handle this better. I still have to interact with her tonight. So I'm not done. I'm seeing I'm never done.

I have to keep going. Not sure what to say.