I have noticed something. Even though I feel more even keel, about a week before the curse arrives I start to spin. Anxiety. I can't pinpoint specifically to what. I'm going to throw something else out. I also have this insatiable, overwhelming desire to be dominated at this same time. All while spinning and anxious. I've spoken to a therapist and we both think it may have something to do with the fact that well, I always had to "do" everything. I worked. I cleaned the house. I was primary caretaker. I paid bills. I don't think it really has much of a sexual connotation (or perhaps it does due to being in a SSM?) and that is the only thing I don't want to control??? Or maybe I just want to release stress that way and I think that's the way I want to? Or somehow I view that as relaxing? It's very strange and I'm trying to work through this. By myself cause it is just me.
Well, this is awkward....but I have to say you are not alone in this. I have had frequent similar feelings, although they are not cyclical and predated BD. I would venture to guess this is not uncommon when you are the "primary" (breadwinner, caretaker, decision maker etc.) in so many aspects of your life.
Ok, awkward moment over. Glad to hear you had a great Birthday!
Yeah, I'm getting hormones that cycle but not "curse" due to contraception I'm on.
I want to kill people too, it's also assciated with the xxx rated dreams I think. Want to swap sore boobies and sensitive nipples for he curse? If anyone bumps em including me I wanna kill them.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I took kids out to celebrate tonight at a quasi schmancy (for us) restaurant and no one pooped, cried, peed or threw up at the table. This is a victory, yes???
Oh yes - it gets better for a few brief years until adolescence strikes. And that seems to come earlier with every generation!!
Yeah and a dinner date with kids that doesn't go nasty in the ways you describe with poo wee or vomit is a plus.
Yes you do have the teens too look forward to, salmost17 spewed venom by text! He's just making excuses, as to why he cannot work even tho I got him a job all he had to do was phone up tomorrow. I bet he tells me the bloke wasn't serious. Happend before.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks Raliced, Beatrice and GG. Please! For anyone reading, never feel embarrassed to post awkward thoughts or questions on my thread. I like to think I am the poster child for awkwardness. And let's face it, there are some challenging sitches so never be afraid to post what you really think or feel. Group hug time!
On a funny note, xh has been sending me many friendly texts. Just received one asking "what do we think of x song?" Snark alert! I don't know what *we* think-just what * I* think. :-)
Hope to finish up shopping this weekend. It's just me and s4 (big kids at grandparents) so I plan on lots of snuggles.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I've done the whole inside out back to front Undies in the dark.
It just adds excitement to having to change at work in the loo quickly! Awkwardness is a grey hound sleeping in an arm chair not big enough for him, head on arm rest teethies showing tounge lolling out and then falling off said chair with a puzzled expression. It almost says "I was pushed! "
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks Cali and GG. It's the bomb drop eve (1 yr anniversary baby) and I feel pretty gosh darn kicky. I spent the day yesterday with my best friend from elementary and middle school. I had not seen her ( although we've chatted several times over the years )in about 12 years and we picked up right where we left off. She has a lovely family and we had some good laughs. Snuggled with s4 last night which is always wonderful.
Speaking of funnies, I have to say I really have come a long way in certain instances. I have a very strained R with my mom. She literally has not called me since my Dad died a year and a half ago. All contact is initiated by me. She has severe depression and while I hate that, I also have learned to draw a line in the sand. I called her yesterday and she let me know she had added me to a prayer group which is perfectly nice. She goes to a huge church (5k plus). She told me that she told them that she knows how devastating it must have been for me to have been left for a (and I quote) "younger, better model." Geez, Mom
Old GB would have gotten very upset and probably cried and wondered if that was true. Now? I actually said, "oh gosh mom. I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't feel that way at all. I didn't lack for male attention prior to marriage, during marriage nor now. I'm smart, successful, funny, cute and a fantastic mom. I'm good. I wish x mr GB and his gf the best. She needs it"
And speaking of X Mr GB. .. His lease must expire soon because he asked me when I was moving. Below is a synopsis of exchange.
X-when are you moving? Where will the kids go to school? I'm probably moving out of x (city we live)
Me: the market is slow so I will relist in the new year. I'm Not sure where kids will go to school as we the kids and I can't move until the house sells. I will keep you posted.
X-well, If I move the biggest concern is that I will have to wake up earlier. That's a huge drawback.
Me-ok. Have a nice weekend.
Yes. The ultimate sacrifice. Getting up earlier. :-). Hope everyone is well.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 12/14/1405:29 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Your mother is nuts for picking a stranger over her own daughter! Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.
Your X is truly speaking and acting like a teenager. Can't get up earlier in the mornings....WTF? Does he ever get up for work? Hey, I wake up 5 am for work.
