D7 is having trouble behavior-wise and I got a call right as my shift started at work from the principal. Great. My kid is always getting in trouble, it has ALWAYS been this way. I just never know how to get her back on track, it's like i have to let her right herself... which is hard when she's SEVEN!
Ugh, so dealing with that.
On my break I called H just to talk about D a bit. He offered to pick her up from school tonight and keep her tonight (he has her this weekend, too). I know he was reaching out and letting me know he'd heard me when I said I was at my wits end with D. He wants to give me a break. The truth is, I don't need a break from her, I need a break from people who can't handle her but his gesture was kind and I took him up on it. He left work immediately to pick her up.
I thought about that part for a bit. He left work immediately to go pick her up.
Pre BD he would have never left work early to pick D up from school for ANY reason. NEVER. It's nice to have this support from him regarding her.
At the end of my shift I received a text from him saying,
H: I'm thinking about sushi with D tonight. You're welcome to join us.
Wha?! He hasn't invited me out since BD.
I tried not to read into it. It's a delicious meal and I get to hug D after her rough day at school.
I respond:
Me: I'd love to! Thank you! What time?
(in retrospect, perhaps exclamation points evoke too much excitement. subtlety isn't my strong suit)
When I arrived I got a running smiling hug from D and a nice "Hello, glad you could make it" from H.
The table was a 4 top and I sat down next to D. H said, "Oh you're not going to sit here? ok." and pointed to the seat next to him with the place setting and moved it over to where I was sitting.
Only then did I realize there was no place setting where I chose to sit. Usually H either sits alone on one side of the table or next to D. It was strange and very out of character (even pre BD) for him to expect me to sit next to him.
Oh well. It means nothing.
We ate. We nagged D to eat her dinner. We talked about why she got in trouble today, and yesterday... and everyday. We talked about consequences of actions, trust, etc. I'm 99% sure it didn't sink in with her. I think I need to look into testing. Ugh.
Anyway, at the end of the meal, I thanked H for dinner and he said, "No problem, I'm glad you could make it."
That was nice, huh?
Anyway, that's about it. I'm really trying not to find hope in any of that and to just keep on keeping on. Way too much to focus on right now. After all, my marriage is in a box up on a high shelf as suggested by uR. I'm not ready to take it down yet.
That's a small victory. Maybe one you can tuck away in that box on the shelf.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Completely relatable about the exclamation point.... I overthink that, too. I agree with you, tho. I believe it matters how we present ourselves, not overly excited, as it could be seen as a form of "pursuit."
My son was in trouble from the ages of 3-7.... Yes, we had him tested. Glad we did. Started down the add track, knowing that wasn't it for him. He was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 7. Through school programs etc....no one would see this in him today. ( not suggesting it's the same for your D, just advocating testing in general).
Shining, I appreciate you sharing your story about your son.
I'm definitely looking into testing. She had a HUGE tantrum/meltdown at H's tonight and he called to discuss it. I can tell he is mildly traumatized by it.
Part if me is super glad he had to face that because I've done it solo for YEARS and told him something isn't right and he just wrote me off every single time.
Now he's saying something isn't right.
Oh how things change.
D was tested for Asperger's when she was 5. The doc basically diagnosed her before even meeting her, send us home with questionnaires scored them and voila! Asperger's. Later on we were seeing another behavioral therapist and said it seemed more like severe ADHD and ODD. Now someone else is telling us it's giftedness.
I'm so sick of people guessing because I freaking need answers! She's bored out of her mind in school but the principal won't accelerate her. She reads at an 8th grade level and has a 10th grade vocabulary. She taught herself to read at 2 years, 9 months, taught herself division and multiplication, French and has a borderline eidetic memory for music but she's horribly impulsive and genuinely cannot control herself. She is in trouble constantly and has been since she was 2. Teachers HATE her.
I can't imagine my daughter is the hardest kid on the planet but why are answers so hard to come by? We spent $10,000 and over a year at the behavioral therapists office with NOTHING changing even a little bit!!
She is on TWO (non-stimulant) medications after trying 10 stimulants with horrifying results. She is such a trooper because she wants to stop being the kid who gets in trouble all the time.
I just hate this so much. Add to her troubles her parents separation and... Well...
