Home now. I had to postpone the Austin trip because of work. Not a big deal, my heart wasn't in it anyway. I'll do it later.
The W is somewhat sweeter (she's not yelling) and she's curling up, but she's sad and crying a lot. I'm detecting a lot of guilt. She's very up front that she's considering actually sleeping with OM when he comes to town next month. She feels starved for passion and she has no comfort with or attraction to me. I can tell she's deeply conflicted about how she feels. Turns out he hasn't texted her in 6 days. May explain something about her emotional state. I'm listening, looking in her eyes (when she's willing to meet my gaze). Staying calm. I'm keeping my reactions calm and I'm not arguing with what she says. God, this is so hard.
I left briefly to pick up D15 from skating. When I got back she had stopped crying and actually smiled when she talked to me. She apologized again for how messed up she is and how hard she's been on me. Jekyll and Hyde much?
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
And when I get back, she's actually chipper, talking about how she likes herself too much to cheat, and apologizing again, and how she's mad at OM. I feel like I'm on a damn yoyo
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I get a strange reaction sometimes. When she's in a decent frame of mind, I've attacked the OM. She used to get defensive, but tonight she seemed to listen attentively and not get mad. I wonder what that means? Probably nothing, but I'm having a hell of a time really hearing what she's saying.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking with that. I guess because I try not to believe anything she says on the surface, I was trying to listen and get the real meaning behind what she was saying. Made sense at the time
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Damn! You're like a wet noodle with no backbone. C'mon!
When your W starts to talk about the OM, put up a hand and say, "I will not listen to you talk about the OM for it is very disrespectful to me as your husband." Walk away.
When W tries to mosey up and cuddle on the sofa, gently remove her hands/arms from you and then move to another chair.
You MUST draw a line in the sand to convos about the OM...OMG, even talking about sleeping with him to your face!!! Where's your backbone, Rzr.
There's a time to listen and a time to be very firm.
Seriously, I don't understand why you've postponed your bike trip to Austin for you were really looking forward to it. I am wondering if you're using work as a cop-out when in reality you're doing this for W since she's made the moves on you.
I get a strange reaction sometimes. When she's in a decent frame of mind, I've attacked the OM. She used to get defensive, but tonight she seemed to listen attentively and not get mad. I wonder what that means? Probably nothing, but I'm having a hell of a time really hearing what she's saying.
Zip your mouth about the OM. No more attacking the OM for it will draw W closer to the OM...not you. There's a reason why we all look past the OW/OM for they're nothing.
