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S, I know you sometimes dont see how strong you are.

You survived an abusive marriage. You got you and your kids out of it safely. In order to do that, you moved across the country and started over. Leaving behind all you knew...your home, your family and friends.

You took the chance to love again in spite of what you went through. What courage that took.

Your h goes through a crisis. He tries to committ suicide. You again get your kids to safety. Once again losing your home. You lost your job. Your son has joined the service. You got another job.

You have had to deal with all that goes with the crisis..other women, financial hardship, etc.

You do it all on your own. Your kids somehow excel in school and manage to be ok. All your doing.

That, my friend, took incredible, undeniable strength.

Dont sell yourself short. Dont allow this to define your life.
You are going to have an amazing one someday. I know this because of who you are and what you are made of.

So, this is a ripple...this undercurrent. It is pushing you along. Ride with it, Shining. See where it takes you.

The world is waiting...

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Shinning

Anger IMO can be used in one of two ways...

You can use it to sit in a place of being the victim, sitting around pissed off at the world, at your plot in life, at your H, at your XH....

Or

You can use it to help push you forward. By forward...I mean living your life on your terms with an emphasis on veing happy.

Believe it or not....you can be happy and live a fullfilled life and STAND for your M.

You know you deserve better... I get that...

What though does better look like to YOU?

What does better look like to YOU right now?

When/if you answer... it should be based on things you can control.

So...Shinning.... whatcha gonna do with this anger?

I'll close with a story....a quick one...

There was an man....he worked a lot. Actually all he did was work. One day he slowed down at work...so he decided to start spending more time trying to fix things around the house. He fixed the stairs, he fixed the roof. One day while he was fixing the roof a young lady who had a crush on him asked him what he wanted to do in his life. The man came down from the roof...he responded...

I want to go to Paris

I want to feed the homeless for a week.

I would like to plant the largest tree you've ever seen.

I would like to drive a corvette across the country.

I would like to go th gracy mansion

I would like to meet Michele Weiner

I would like to own a great dane

I would like to learn how to paint

The man went on for over an hour with all the things he wanted to do.

The women asked him why he has not started to do some of the things he mentioned. He responded...I will once I complete this project at work.

3 days later the women walked by rhe house again....the man was not around. Neighbors told her that he had died yesterday of a massive heart attack.

The women was sad..

The moral of the story....

Never put off on some till tomorrow or nexy week or next month...that you could do today.

Peace
Eric


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Shining ... you do realize you have survived worse already right? Look at you ... its like a tornado wen by and you are standing all above the ruble with amazing hair and a kick-ass perspective.

You have this .. and its healthy to be angry, in fact I think sometimes we all get so into the sitch we forget to just say F this for a minute and work on ourselves. Its easy to put all that energy into our family, marriage and then realize we need to find some more to put into ourselves .. as uR and Eric stated .. use this anger filled energy and move forward ... know its healthy .. own it!

Rock out like you are at a Foo Fighter Concert !!


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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Seriously shining if you sit down and give up

What hope do the rest of us mere mortals have?
Put on that persona get down and dirty. You just are too close to see the change my lovely.

Just too close, step away from the stich breathe see it for what it is.
Let it shine out shining.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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Shining I was where you are until very recently and I understand so well. I was frustrated about the anger- because I couldn't control it, and it made me feel out of control, and like I was failing at this detachment and healing process.
But I couldn't get rid of it, I had to stay in it and do the best I could to take care of myself.
It did help me though now that I look back- it helped me detach a little more ( though I still have a ways to go) and most of all it put me in a place where I felt I was worth more than what I am getting from H now or even earlier in our marriage. I'm able to stand right now with more patience and compassion since I went through that quiet "WTF who the h$ll does he think he is and how did I get here believing his BS" anger stage.

I'm sure I'm not done with cycling through that,'and I HATED that stage when I was there- but I see the benefit.

You are amazingly strong- you will get through this and it's not a sign of weakness that you are angry! It's a sign that your heart and soul recognizes it was wronged and you are worth more than youve been giving yourself credit for!

So rock on with yo bad a$$ self!


Me 41 H 40
M 20 T 23
S 19,16, 8 D 13
BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work
BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D
Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015
Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
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Thank you, Bright, uR, Eric, Cali, Ggrass, and daring.


*****heavy sigh*****


And then there were 3.



S18 just left. I'm emotionally spent.


AND, because you can't even make this stuff up.... Xh was here to help him move. After I came home from work, we were all sitting in living room talking.

A little background: during my "in house S" with xh, one of the things that mysteriously disappeared, was my W ring. Out of my jewelry box. Nothing else.

Yeah. He stole it. (Among other things during that time). Of course, I asked him about it. He lied. He said he hadn't seen it.

So, as we were talking, Xh asked If I remembered something about the old house. There were beautiful hardwood floors throughout. The one room still had some carpet. Xh never let me pull it up.

I said yes, I remember. He then told me that he pulled the carpet up after I left. And as he was telling me, he reached into his pocket, and guess what he had????? Yeah.... My wedding ring.

He didn't specify how he found it or where it was, no story attached. In fact, now that I think of it... He never said the words "your ring was in the carpet" or anything close to that. Hmmmm.

He said he hoped it was ok that he gave it to me. He said he hoped I wasn't angry that he held onto it for all these years after the house was sold, and waited to give it to me now.

I kind of got emotional....he apologized. He said, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to make you sad! I thought you might be excited to cash it in for some cha ching!"

I said, "yeah, because that's EXACTLY what I've always been about. Cha ching. Ummm, have you met me?"

He laughed, looking embarrassed.

And here I sit....with my W ring. Now I have 2 that mean absolutely nothing.

I'm still processing my anger. It's still there. I'm coming up with a plan for myself, and for a Christmas this week.

Life is too short. This is stupid. I'm going to get to gettin'!!!

Look out, world..... I don't know what that is ^^^^^^^^^. But when I find out? Yeah. It's gonna be MAGIC. cool

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Life is indeed too short. So as you said...get's to gettin..


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Hmmmm....not to be lacking in sentimentality or anything, but my first thought was "I wonder if she could get enough for those rings to finance a nice European vacation?"

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kml, a European vacation sounds FABULOUS right now. I'm tempted......

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Re reading what
He said when he handed you the ring about selling it might be his way of saying I know your short right now things are tough. He might not feel comfortable putting that Into words so instead he tryed a gesture?

To express some empathy for what's happening. Not a negative in your only after $.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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