Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
It could be argued that I pushed my H away. I was under no illusion that we were happy, whereas you were very happy in your marriage.
The lack of ownership on our H's part, I'm convinced is something that only time can change but I have no expectations. I do have hope but since I can only change myself, I have to separate my hope from a mutual hope and make it more singular. Once I actually figured out how to do that (through all my avid supporters, especially labug and uRworthy among about 20+ others), I felt an actual relief wash over me.
I only have to worry about me?
Really?
Yep. And it's helping me detach significantly, figure out and BE who I want to be (not that condescending, self-protecting b!tch who keeps score all the time and tries to teach lessons by being emasculating).
You seem very level headed, Calibri, and that's to your advantage. Stay your course, lean on us and GAL.
It has helped to have limited contact. I've had to set some boundaries, as you read above, but in did it strongly and unlike the old me. I'm proud of that and I'm taking that success along this journey. I'm tired of counting my failures. I only have room for successes.
I don't think his rambling about being at the house needing "stuff" was really about needing "stuff", that's all. I think he's looking for a way to stay connected. I could be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time today.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
And see, that's why you're detached and I'm not so much.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
And see, that's why you're detached and I'm not so much.
Know what, jefe? I don't even know how I got here. Seriously. I'm grateful because detachment has really helped me see things more clearly and help me stand without leaning so heavily on either H or friends or other distractions.
I wish I could give directions on where detachment is on the path but I stumbled upon it accidentally and I like it here. It's a good place to be... And grow.
Thank you dear. Maybe I will catch up with you soon.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I do have hope but since I can only change myself, I have to separate my hope from a mutual hope and make it more singular. Once I actually figured out how to do that (through all my avid supporters, especially labug and uRworthy among about 20+ others), I felt an actual relief wash over me.
Oh do tell you you managed this! I am pretty detached these days but find there's a strong correlation between how I'm feeling on any given day and what I think will happen in the end. Feeling PMA = it will work out (hopeful); feeling NMA = it won't work out (hopeless). I will be ok without H. I know that for sure. But I just wish I could be PMA and not have that raise my expectations of how this will play out.
So how did you separate your hope from a mutual hope and make it more singular?
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
