Hi all, new to DB, I've been trying to do the 180, with WAW. We're still living in the same house and scheduled to start MC on Monday. I've been pulling back, not initiating R talk, etc. unusually (or maybe not) from many WAW, she wants to talk about our relationship a lot. She's very depressed. She had a panic attack today and said that she looked at me and felt no connection at all, said she didn't belong with me, that our marriage was a mistake other than the kids, etc. I know that I shouldnt believe what she says, and I was able to keep calm and talk her through her panic attack. Am I doing that correctly? I'm worried that my reduced communication is just reinforcing her belief that we have no connection.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Re: Am I just giving her more ammunition with 180?
#2543789 03/02/1505:36 PM03/02/1505:36 PM
There's a dance every couple has. 180s are about switching the steps and helping you get stronger. Your spouse is going to resist some of the 180s because they're uncomfortable/different and you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to fit in the box they defined for you.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
I too am worried that the 180 and GALing will push him further away, since he has stated he doesn't feel connected to me anymore. He tells me i would be more attractive if I raised my self confidence and self esteem, and i know that doing a 180 will help me, but I'm afraid he will see it as me giving up and will give him more ammunition to end the marriage.