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A Message from Michele
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Am I just giving her more ammunition with 180? #2505691
11/09/14 03:09 AM
11/09/14 03:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
N
NH115 Offline OP
Member
NH115  Offline OP
Member
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 788
Hi all, new to DB, I've been trying to do the 180, with WAW. We're still living in the same house and scheduled to start MC on Monday. I've been pulling back, not initiating R talk, etc. unusually (or maybe not) from many WAW, she wants to talk about our relationship a lot. She's very depressed. She had a panic attack today and said that she looked at me and felt no connection at all, said she didn't belong with me, that our marriage was a mistake other than the kids, etc. I know that I shouldnt believe what she says, and I was able to keep calm and talk her through her panic attack. Am I doing that correctly? I'm worried that my reduced communication is just reinforcing her belief that we have no connection.


Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood

Re: Am I just giving her more ammunition with 180? [Re: NH115] #2543789
03/02/15 05:36 PM
03/02/15 05:36 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 943
US
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Sherman333 Offline
Member
Sherman333  Offline
Member
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 943
US
There's a dance every couple has. 180s are about switching the steps and helping you get stronger. Your spouse is going to resist some of the 180s because they're uncomfortable/different and you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to fit in the box they defined for you. wink


Me: 45 W43
S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce)
D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
Re: Am I just giving her more ammunition with 180? [Re: Sherman333] #2644080
01/17/16 06:02 PM
01/17/16 06:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 20
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hmc Offline
New Member
hmc  Offline
New Member
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 20
My husband who is adamant on the separation got angry ate bc he said I have been inconsiderate of his time lately(since GAL ). I'm worried I'm pushing him away.... thoughts?

Re: Am I just giving her more ammunition with 180? [Re: hmc] #2735326
03/21/17 01:30 PM
03/21/17 01:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 54
great lakes state
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Sunmoon Offline
Member
Sunmoon  Offline
Member
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 54
great lakes state
I too am worried that the 180 and GALing will push him further away, since he has stated he doesn't feel connected to me anymore. He tells me i would be more attractive if I raised my self confidence and self esteem, and i know that doing a 180 will help me, but I'm afraid he will see it as me giving up and will give him more ammunition to end the marriage.


Me:33 H:30
M:6 T:9
NO KIDS
BD:3/14/17
ILYBNIL

Moderated by  Virginia 

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