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Joined: Oct 2014
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To add to my posting above, this is Jeanne7. I'm ready to get off the roller coaster,but I'm having trouble and need guidance.I really do not have the tools in what to do that will reverse all the damage that has happened. I have been reading a lot of these postings and I find it logical but Logic is hard to do when I'm such an emotional mess. I called a friend who told me about Divorce Busting and she even gave me a book on it. The book really gave me new ideas. I really thought if you express or articulate your feelings well enough the husband would wake up and smell the coffee, boy was I wrong! Quit the opposite. He doesn't want to know when he hurts me or when I've been rejected. When is the husband accountable for his actions in this program? I'm hoping to get there but I have to start at the beginning. I'm ready.
My husband and I are both in our mid 50's I started MLC about 10 years ago. It was very hard because pre-MLC I was easy going and nothing bothered me ...to much.
I say back 2006 we had a 5 year plan, BIG MISTAKE! That is when he went back to school to get his Masters in Business. His reason is so it would be job security. So if laid off again, he would be more marketable. I thought it to be a smart move and I agreed. We were still raising our youngest daughter and our middle son had just graduated from High School. My daughter approaching High School meant that I would be very involved in School activities. My husband now is my 2nd marriage, and we just hit our 20 years! We did celebrate because we both felt we needed a long awaited break and we went to California. It was good, it was just him and I and no distractions. No familiar people who made me feel like we were never along. But everything changed and we both went back into status quo actions and responses, or lack of response.
I would say my husband started MLC about 7 years ago. I really had no idea that all of this could just be him. I really blamed myself for a lot of the arguments. H e clearly pointed them all to me, I was the problem, it's my fault, it's all in my head, I am crazy. That is to say a few things he was always saying to me. I know I was very confused, lonely and heart broken, that my husband who always loved me, supported me, spoiled me and made me his one and only in his world started changing little by little and I began to realized that it was, I, living in a fantasy world. I was really looking through rose colored glasses. All I can say is I was heart broken and I still am. I really can look back an see where it all began and how I would change things if I could go back in time. I need someone to help me. Their is so much more, I haven't even touched the surface. But my eyes are filled with tears and the old emotions are still in me. I need to move ahead but I don't know how.

Help!
Thanks for a lending ear,
Jeanne


Jeanne7
Joined: Apr 2014
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Jean,

Don't know if you're still around. I just caught this post and want you to know that we're not ignoring you.

You should copy your posts and start a new thread for yourself in the Midlife Crisis forum.

That way people will respond to your there and will be able to keep track of your story.

Hang in there,

----(G)GGG


Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?



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Does MLC make them think that they have no feelings or love for you?


Skhdivers
M 20 years
S 1/28/15
Me 49 h 45
Joined: Jul 2015
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Originally Posted By: skhdive
Does MLC make them think that they have no feelings or love for you?


I can't answer that but my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. He use to he said but not anymore. He said you can stop loving someone that fast.

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