Holidays and the MLCer....

[Georgiabelle]

Gwen,

The holidays can be difficult enough and adding a difficult sitch to the mix makes for a big poopy feeling. I agree with the adage that I don't know if you "get over" this. I do think you work through the feelings, thoughts and work towards healing. As painful as it is, you WILL be okay and can in fact be better than you were before. It's a process-a painful one at that. No pain; no gain.

Try not to put much pressure or expectations on the holidays. Just focus on you and your kids. Enjoy the good stuff and it is there. You can never get this time back with them.

Hang in there.

[nero]

hey - hi from the muck -

i'm not sure if I'll ever get "free" of the muck my dear. We are spending holidays together - as we always have (?)(!!). why he bothers - i'm not sure. why i seem to need some kind of "togetherness" in life from someone- rather than sit around alone - idk. i'm tired of thinking about it- trying to figure anything out. some days i feel like i must bea needy a$4 - most days i just think, "hey, i'm a pack animal and i've lost my pack". no more - no less

i hope you do okay. this morning i'm furiously cleaning house to do "feast" on thksgiving- h is "lookin for a fight". idk what the heck is bothering him. he is a jerk, no doubt about it- butusually an even tempered one. this a.m.- i can see the signs. i am soooo over this- "walking on eggs".

oh - i digress - here's what i have to say about this all - when i am with him, i can picture life without him and " all this" crappola -

when i'm sitting around for three weeks by myself, nobody and nothin and no one even knows if i come home at nite- i think of my mom (alone since my dad died in '69) and my sisters - all alone, bitter, "unyielding" - i'm not so sure alone is a good way to go for me.

i hope to find where i fall in the mix someday-

for today- clean this dumb barn and let my guests use the bathroom without feeling fear-

ta da- good luck- hope your holiday is okay. i think no matter what we "got" - the other thing looks a little better. human nature? idk-

i don't know nothin today other than i hope someday we all feel "happy" agtain. (well, and loved as well)

xxoo

[123Gwen]

I guess one person's muck is another person's treasure?

The one thing I realize is that I am fairly incapable of being bitter for too long. I have my moments but it is just not in my nature to spend that much energy on the negative. I know I am far more fortunate than many, many people even if my H never returns.

My biggest obstacles are my old friends fear and worry. Now if I can figure out how to get those two out of my muck then I would be a far better person. It is a daily struggle.

Hope everyone has a good holiday. Hang in there