Wow Shining! I felt warm and fuzzy reading that. What a great gift and a beautiful attestation to your strength and grace as a woman and mother. And I'm inspired with some hope, which I needed as well. That's the kind of plot twist I'll take any day!!
Prayers for your son as he journeys out to serve.
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
Shining what an incredible gift. Thanks for sharing. I am happy your first husband not only found some answers within himself but was gracious enough to be truthful with you.
You were incredibly brave for your kids. It is nothing short of a miracle that you and first H can even be civil after all that. What a testament to your ability to move forward and not let an event or a person define you.
Pretty incredible post.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
Thank you so very much, everyone. The support from you all on this board is such a comfort. Waking up, pouring my coffee, and checking in with so many new friends that I wouldn't have otherwise had, were it not for a painful mess. Yet another gift that arises from the hurt.
What a couple of weeks it has been.
Things are still processing in my head. So much change. Not necessarily bad change. Just not what I asked for.
Sometimes, instead of what we want, we get what we need. Thanks for reminding me of that, Mick Jagger.
This new life is beginning to unravel piece by piece.
My job is keeping me extremely focused and busy during the day. It is not stressful in the least. It's new, and there are TONS of messes for me to go in and fix.
FINALLY I have something I can fix. I am loving it all.
I work for some incredible people, who hired me not only because I'm qualified, but because I'm different. They don't expect me or want me to fit into some preconceived box.
My boss told me that he wanted to change my job title, since he was adding some more duties to my plate this week. He asked me if I wanted X title, or Y title.
In true "me" fashion, a bit of humor seeped into my answer. The following words actually came out of my mouth.
"I have no preference. If my title states 'Walmart Greeter', I will still do the same job for you. A title doesn't change that." I smiled and added, "I know who I am."
My boss smiled back and said, "Yes, you do, don't you?"
He then explained he is the same way. He went on to explain that the reason for the title clarification is because some new duties involve interacting with other satellite offices. The suggested title will help convey the importance of my communication to them.
Oohh! Good idea. Now I get it.
Part of me feels they are intrigued and slightly amused by my openness and honesty, and that I don't pretend to be something I think they want. I did that in my last job. I didn't like me so much then.
My boss told me it was "refreshing", having someone like me. That's a pretty cool thing to hear.
I still catch myself falling into old patterns of second guessing, self doubt, the beating myself up. I now stop, get up, and walk. Go to the kitchen, ladies room, outside....change my scenery and give myself a pep talk. I found that if I interrupt that stuff, it doesn't grow as big.
I like me. I've become quite protective of that. I don't want to lose me again.
I'm sitting here nodding my head and saying "yes, she's growing by leaps and bounds". I'm glad your supervisor likes the person that you are and he recognizes that your attitude is a refreshing change for him and the office.
Keep up the good work. You are going to love the person that you are evolving into more and more each day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I still catch myself falling into old patterns of second guessing, self doubt, the beating myself up. I now stop, get up, and walk. Go to the kitchen, ladies room, outside....change my scenery and give myself a pep talk. I found that if I interrupt that stuff, it doesn't grow as big.
Shining, shid girlriend! I just keep hearing what I need to hear on this thread. What's up with that?
Are you secretly stalking me and observing my life like a Guardian Angel? Sorta feeling like it. :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Thank you for such wonderful words, job. I do feel I'm growing. There is a very clear shift in my thinking, and the way I look at things.
It's not as if I'm a whole different person, though. I still have the same fears. I think I just slow down and sort them out now, instead of allowing them to rule my day. I'm learning I have more control of those things. I can choose what I will, and will not allow to get in.
The things that do sneak by me and creep in? I call those out and let them pass through. Like kicking them out the back doggie door.
Heather, I would love to be stalking you right now! Your life is turning some hard corners, just like mine. Friggin' u-turn, at times.
What you've done and what you have now are huge accomplishments.
I'm no stranger to financial stress, family crapola, and learning as a parent to put down the proverbial, "foot."
Reading your thread... Wow, Heather. Struggles and all, you're doing some amazing things. You don't seem to see it yet, perhaps some outside distractions pull you a bit.
You have all the ingredients. The potential for everything you want is right there for you to grab. You just need to believe you can.
I had to learn to stop looking to others for the validation. Even if they said the words I wanted to hear, it didn't make me suddenly believe it. So I kept seeking, thinking I just needed to hear it more often, and from different people. (Bosses, family, H, mom...)
No one out there made me believe in myself.
People here guided me in the right direction, which was a place I didn't want to go at first. Looking inside was painful for me. Still is. But, so worth it.
After I dug down and got past the goo.... Well, you know what's there.
Can we hold hands and skip through this journey together? We can laugh and giggle along the way...
Like two little girls who are really enjoying life- in their own world- not distracted by the mean kids around them. Skipping right past them, in fact.
Can I skip too? We can sing hair metal songs and wear One Direction tshirts.:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
