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Ahoy,
you are not alone. these WAS are cruel at times. mine told me that she would rather be the cat lady than be with me. but it does hurt them inside. i know it does but because it is their plan they put on a facade. maybe it is not as hard for them as we'd like it to be but it is. that thought allows me a little empathy for my W and keeps me from reverting to who i used to be. prayers and hugs going out to you.


M40 XW35
M11 T15
S9 D5
Bomb 6/3/14
Papers del 10/3/14
D final 12/5/14

I wish I could love you and make you believe it
'Cause that's all you ever wanted
From me

Joined: Sep 2014
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Ahoy, you have immense value to us. I know that doesn't make the bed less lonely at night or make feel better when you come home ithout a partner to greet you, but you still matter to us.

I think about all you guys when I go to bed at night and strangely it dose give me some peace.

Have a great weekend. I'll be praying extra for you.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Aug 2014
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So H showed up at the jam and just sat there and worked on his computer the whole time. No eye contact at all. Didn't watch us play, even though D14 was right next to me playing along. Then he spent a lot of time texting on his phone and smiling (likely to GF). Why is he doing this? What is the point? Just to hurt me? I'm hurting enough, thank you. Why rub it in? Why hang around in my presence? Is it not enough to rip out my heart -- he has to stomp on it now, too?

At least it was good to play music. I can usually lose myself in playing a bit. But of course, I was distracted by H's presence the whole time.

Big hugs to all of you who are helping me through this week. I'm sorry I've been so needy. I promise I'll spend more time on your threads and less time in my own head next week. It's a goal I'll set for myself.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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Ahoy, I'm halfway through my second glass of wine, but if I could I'd give you an "I love you, man!!!" hug and tell you this is the s$cky part of the journey, but you'll get through it. Would have loved to have heard you jam.

Ignore your H. He's a fool. smile

I love you, man!!!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Thank you, Maybell! I'm tearing up a bit. Love to you too. Sending a big hug your way.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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Posts: 1,104
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You're not being needy. Your being human. Spending more time on our threads is not the cost of admission, having a wounded soul is.

I would have gladly brought my guitar to the jam. wink



Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 54
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Ahoy,

I felt this way last week - totally broken. I have been told by a few people that have gone through this that one day they woke up and it was like a light switch turned off. They no longer felt the pain of the sorrow/despair. I try to hang on to this thought and look forward to the day I wake up and feel as though the switch has been turned off. Presently, it feels like someone is standing on my chest. There are days I think that I just can't take it anymore. Again, I try to hang on to what others have said - that it will get better.


Me: 54
H: 58
Married: 29 years
Together 33 years
H admitted to A: 5/29/14
H moved out :6/15/14
OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H
D23
D18
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Um, somehow I have a date tonight? Got a message from the guy from the Meetup, and we're doing another meetup today and he asked if I wanted to grab dinner afterward. We had both previously mentioned that we were in search of new friends at this point in our lives, so I plan to make it clear that I'm not interested in forming a romantic relationship at this time, but it would be nice to have some single friends to do things with. All my other friends here are married with families, and I'm the proverbial "third wheel." (This was going to be my Halloween costume -- I was going to wear a wheel around my neck, but in the end I thought it was too sad.)

I know my H has to be afraid to lose me, and getting a life and spending time with new people is part of that (he doesn't have to know that I'm not interested in romantic dating at this point). Frankly, it's nice to get attention, but I know better than to be flattered into a relationship when 1. contrary to how H acts, I am still married, and 2. I KNOW that I'm in NO WAY ready for real dating and a relationship. Instead, I'm looking at this as part of my GAL plans. But I will protect my heart -- from both my H and any newcomers.

At the same time, the whole situation makes me want to throw up from sadness and anxiety. I can barely eat these days, although I am really trying.

Part of me doesn't want to leave the house at all today. I'd like to stay in my PJs and read a book or watch a movie, take a bath and go to bed. But that's depression, right? Instead, I'm going to say "yes" to life and get out there and find things to enjoy. (even though I'm so sad)


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
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Hi Ahoy. Enjoy yourself and I hope he turns out to be a good friend Take care

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Wanting a quiet evening isn't always depression, especially if you don't frequently give yourself a quiet evening. So don't diagnose depression just because you're longing for some comfort. smile

And since you do have plans and you said yes to them, I'm going to guess you're not depressed. Looking forward to hearing about your not-date!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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