thinking quite a bit tonight (unfortunately). my wife didn't say anything about separating last night, but I'm sure it is still on the table since "nothing has changed". However, should I be the one to bring it up again? I do not plan on being the one to leave, but Should I ask her to consider what we are going to do with the house? if she has thought about getting her own place? Should I consider separating finances and splitting up bills? Should I consult an attorney?
or should I just wait and see if SHE brings it up? I'm concerned and don't want to get blindsided again. but it seems inevitable that at least a physical separation is going to happen whether I want it or not. if she still decides to file after we are separated for a while, then so be it.
Last edited by lostluv; 10/31/1408:22 AM.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
was out pretty late friday night . the wife asked where I went and I told her where. then she mumbled (barely could hear) "what time di dyou get home?" , to confirm I asked "hmm? didn't hear what you said"....she said "NOTHING!" then didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. avoided me and pretty much wouldn't even be in the same room as me. later in the afternoon she said she was going to have a couple drinks then to a movie with her friend. when she returned she seemed weird. kinda talkative and acted as if something was up, but I just asked how the movie was and she told me a little about it. shortly after she went to bed. I think maybe she was still buzzed from drinking or something.....who knows.
sunday she said that her parents (out of town) was having a get together for all the kids for a halloween party . I simply asked if I was invited or if just her and my daughter was going. She said "yes,, you are invited" and acted like it was a stupid question. typically she wants to drive, but she wanted me to...so I did. the ride there (almost 2 hrs) was pretty good, talked about small stuff quite a bit and laughed and played with our daughter. the party was fine, I had fun and I think she did too but we didn't interact much with each other. our daughter is staying with grandma and grandpa for a couple days so we drove home (she drove because I had some wine) and it was quite quiet. we didn't talk the rest of the evening until she went to bed and said good night.
I work day shift this week so we will be home at night every evening...but I'm more than likely NOT going to sleep in the same bed.
we really need to discuss what we are going to do as far as separation, but it's a pretty difficult time since my duaghters birthday party is in two weeks. ugh.
but if we are indeed continuing with separation, then we need to start dealing with finances and stuff. I'm not sure how to approach. Today would be ideal since my daughter is not there because It will more than likely be emotional.
I still feel that since SHE is the one that insists that we separate, that SHE will need to find a place of her own. makes me feel like an a$$, but i don't feel I should have to leave.
I'm hoping we can do it as gracefully as possible if it cannot be avoided.
ugh......this [censored].
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
Hey lostluv... sorry you're at this point in your sitch. I live with my WAW too and she talks of separation. Nice that yours showed some interest in where you were.
Even so, are you focusing too much on your W in your posts? What would happen it you posted 95% about your successes with your PMA, actions, growth, and GAL and only 5% about how W is reacting to you?
That's what I am working towards. It is hard no doubt and I'm just now starting on my DB 100%... but let's have faith that focusing more on life successes brings more successes.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014
should I just not even bring things up and continue living in the same household and not really talking? I fee stuck between a rock and a hard place. part of me feels it would be easier to move on and actually work on the GET A LIFE if we were not living in the same house....but part of me feels like we should just stay together as long as possible and if she hasn't moved out yet or brought up anything about the situation, then she isn't certain she wants to pursue separation / divorce.
I need some help here - don't want to do the wrong things.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
Having a VERY bad day emotionally. Depression is setting in hard. Daughter is at grandparents for a couple nights, so I can't play w her to make me feel good Wife left to run errands and I had a breakdown shortly after. I cannot handle this. I haven't felt this low in over a month. I hate the back slides.....makes me want to just give up.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
sorry you are feeling the pain that you are right now. We all have been there. Do what you can to get your mind off of it. Read a good book, watch a funny movie, go out with friends.
This feeling will pass (as it always does).
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
I'm working day shift this week so we are home together all night...... I ended up renting a couple movies and picked up a 12 pack. by the time my wife got home, i was most of the way through the first movie and on my 4th beer. we had minimal discussion and talked about her shopping and the present we wanted to get for our daughters birthday....ended up having to order it.
anyways, wife went to bed around 9. I finished my second movie and crashed on the recliner until about 3 am. I got up and actually went to bed. The first time my wife and I laid in the same bed in months. we never talk about it, so I figured worse case, she would ask me to leave. unfortunately, i couldn't sleep past 4 am because my body is so used to switching to 3rd shift. So I got up and figured I would work out. rather than going to my basement as usual, I decided to use the gym at my work! it helped to get out and associate with some people. was at gym by 4:45 and went straight to working when done (after shower of course LOL)
at 7:30 am something weird happened....my wife texted me "have a good day" I'm guessing she was probably feeling lonely because my daughter isn't there and I wasn't there when she woke up.
oh well, today is going ok so far......
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
