Sandi. No Dbing is the only option I have. My point is in our R I have always being the 'Rock'. I have always been the one she could turn to about anything. Even last week she was discussing ladies problems with me but she know she has lost that rock now and she has to turn somewhere. Her friend has plenty of his own issues but if that is all she has left to turn to then she has no choice. Only in this was iDBi g not giving her the option to return. DBi g has helped me as any individual greatly.
You are wise beyond compare. It is amazing how much your words strike with me and inspire me. I trully hope she turns around for me with the info that you and DB gives.
rd500,
Thanks for your post. I have felt that I am a little ahead of most of the individuals that post here - however things are moving very slowly. I look forward to hearing of your progress as I believe your situation may forshaddow my own.
Stay safe and strong friend.
W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21 Kids S-15 D-13 S-11 OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14 Talk of Seperation 7/5/14 Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15 W moved out 2/1/15 I am moving on
Hi all. Bad day today. W came home Wednesday to visit kids and to be there when D13 arrived home from Barcelona. I got home about 7pm stayed out of the way and D10 came down to my bedroom for chat W came down about 8pm to say she was off to gym for an hour. I played with kids and D10 feel asleep with me watching TV. W came home and made conversation while we watched film. She then asked could we both go and collect D13 from school when bus dropped her off at 1am. I said ok D 13 would like that. We chatted about D13s trip and it turned out that D13 had being texting me 2/3 times a day she hadn't text W once. As it got closer to 1am W said she would wait at home while I collected D13. On returning D13 was very pleased to see me but a bit off with W. Next day W spent at home with kids while I went to work. I arrived home last nite W gone and dinner made. Spent evening playing with kids and W made no contact with them last nite or this morning. I'm not sure if W is settling into her new life or not. She seemed happy enough Wednesday but Monday she was very upset I know I have to move on but the pain is hard Rant over
Sorry...but did she choose to move out originally? How was that decision made? How did the kids take it...were they resentful towards her or you? What did you tell them was the cause? This is of great interest to me as it may happen with us. What mistakes did the two of you or you make in negotiating this process?
W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21 Kids S-15 D-13 S-11 OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14 Talk of Seperation 7/5/14 Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15 W moved out 2/1/15 I am moving on
Hi Hrdtims She decided if I wouldn't move she would. It's a long story but basically she wants to be away from me and kids. Saturday before she left she told me problem was not me but in her head. She also told me she did not feel like playing with the kids anymore and she hope moving out would make her miss them. We told them together that she needed space to think and I just validated her. The way I look at it is the kids come first and I would tell them the truth but just enough. No real advice but I hope it doesn't come to this for your sake
rd500, I'm sorry it's so hard on the kids. Your WAW is hurting them, and it's hard to stand by and watch that happen without trying to jump in and help. But you are wise to stay out of it. Your kids will have to sort out their relationship with her on their own in time. You are doing everything you can for them in the meantime. I admire your strength of character.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Thanks Ahoy. No strength of character at all. I am close to tears most of the time and just have to keep together for kids. W called me this morning to see how I was and to ask if she could stay tonight as she normally takes girls to hers but D13 wanted to stay home. I said that was fine , she then told me she was very down and was having a bad day. Both Ds dressed up now in scary customers and W just text to say she was not com go as she had a bad headache Both Ds very disappointed and feel W is letting them down again. Very frustrating Thanks for posting
Your situation is very similar to mine. W also states that she needs time to clear her head...I have told her that I do not want anyone to move out as I think the best way to work through it is to stay and sleep in the same bed. She talks about a appartment to figure things out but, unlike your W, she does not want the kids to think that she is leaving. Matter of fact she is becoming very possesive of her time vs my time with them...??? I guess that it is just me that she needs to figure things out about I continue to state that I do not understand to myself but am working on all that I can to get her to relize not to throw it all away following all this forum and DB has to offer. More counceling in 2 weeks for both of us...then two more sessions after that.
It appears darker and darker...loosing hope that she will turn around. Very sad, I mimmic your feelings of tears most of the time.
Happy to see kids dress up tonight and spend time with friends. Talk to you on Monday.
W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21 Kids S-15 D-13 S-11 OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14 Talk of Seperation 7/5/14 Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15 W moved out 2/1/15 I am moving on
Keep strong Follow Db and hopefully some of the vets on here will chime in. My advice for what is worth ! Is shut the fu## up when she talks and sincerely try to listen to what she is saying. She feels the way she feels and you cannot change her mind with words. Keep improving and don't mention R or M at this time Take care
I continue to state that I do not understand to myself but am working on all that I can to get her to relize not to throw it all away following all this forum and DB has to offer. More counceling in 2 weeks for both of us...then two more sessions after that.