You aren't going to believe this. Xh sent an email to s17 and cc'd me. It is so abusive. Lit is full if lies an manipulation of truths. Unbelievable. Stuff from when I was 16! Things he did with me but told s I did, omitting himself! H has gone to a whole new low. He is a joke. Trash. He pretty my now is blaming the past year of a poor r with kids on me. What a coward.
I just want to tell s17 to delete for his own protection, but don't want to be blamed for hiding it. I really don't care what he says. At all.
I will tell s17 that most isn't true and other thing are twisted around. If he wants to talk, he can, but I do t need to discuss to defend myself with that garbage. He is out of control.
Mighty - I am sorry you are getting this. I have blocked my xh's emails (I told him I was going to do this after years of abusive spew). The alternative is to send them direct to a folder and keep them in case you want to protect yourself against harassment at a later date.
It really isn't nice to get this stuff. You are under no obligation to read any of it. Fwiw I think it is guilt, but i could be wrong.
This just highlights his level of desperation. What kind of man spends his time trash talking you this way?
No man that you need in your life. EVER. Hopefully as time goes by, you'll be able to have less and less involvement.
The funny thing is, he still cares in some twisted way. Otherwise, he wouldn't waste his energy on this stuff.
All that fury comes from somewhere.
Whether it's anger at himself (likely) projected onto you, or the fact that you're moving ahead without him and it hurts him to see this, whatever it is, if he was really not emotionally involved in some way, he'd be DETACHED.
And he is not.
So you do have some influence on this man still.
But I admit, it's a bit scary. He is upping the ante because he is not getting satisfaction from his efforts to do--whatever it is he's trying to do.
Just make sure you and your kids are safe from him.
Probably S17 is well aware that XH has taken up residence in Wacko-land, but that's a lot for a young man to take in emotionally.
So while I wouldn't spend much time defending yourself to your son over this, you could just validate him, saying "I know it hurts to read stuff like this about your mom and I want you to know that is is not an accurate representation of history. You can talk to me about it at any time or ask any questions you want and I will answer them honestly. You know I love you and I am so sorry you're in the middle of this."
Your XH is burying himself alive with his kids with this sort of thing. Sad, but true. He'll probably continue to try and blame YOU for that, because he still doesn't want to face that he is the one who brought this about.
So sorry, Mighty. Really.
It stinks.
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
WOW Mighty Wow!!! Eearily it feels as if we are talking about the same man...
Mighty, if I could offer a word...don't say anything to son about the email...don't ask him to delete it and don't defend yourself about it, at least not before you hear your son's thoughts on it. He could very well see all he needs to see on his own. But I think now would be a good time to breathe...and deal with what comes (if it does) when it comes. In my opinion, this is a process for our children too, and some things they need to go through and learn as well.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Hi Mighty, so sorry about the latest with a$$hat H! Just like I was saying yesterday, he is proving that he just doesn't care at all about his S17! Here this kid is struggling to get through this sitch and he thinks it's helpful for him to bad mouth his mother and say horrible things about you? Just what he needs at this point to make his life easier, yeah right. Don't defend yourself at all, you really don't need to. All he is going to do is make what he has already done even worse! That man is so clueless! Does he really think that insulting his mother is somehow going to bring them closer to his son? All he is going to accomplish is pushing his son even farther away. He is a sad, immature, angry man that has totally lost any bit of decency he may have had left.
There is no one who will think anything that gets an email from him but what an a$$hat HE is. Hold your head up and don't let any of this bother you at all. In fact anyone who may have not yet thought badly about H will surely now that he has stooped this low. I know that it's hard but wait and see and you will see that all he has done is make things worse for HIMSELF. Don't sweat it.
Thanks guys. You all make some very valid points. They are really helpful. I just started a new thread. I have just got a bad feeling. I don't like it. However, I have got to go pack. Getting ready for my trip. So glad to be escaping Crazy World and head to the sanity and security of Halloween in NYC! Thank goodness I am headed for a little peace!
Hope to see you at "Diggin Deep"! You guys are amazing!
