Am I on the right track? (2)

[wmwb123]

Well, I told the in-laws I would love to see them, but the decision of whether or not to make the 14-hour trip is theirs. I know they want to help, and my heart hurts for them, because they are in a difficult position. Part of me thinks their physical presence here would help, and part of me thinks that my WAW will think I put them up to it or simply get angry at them for not respecting her decision to move on with another person. I don't think she'd cut off contact with them permanently, so I don't see how it could make the situation any worse than it already is.

[wmwb123]

I don't think the in-laws are coming.

As we move closer to mediation and what's going to be a very large amount of wasted money, I'm questioning my strategy. I mean, I don't mind going thousands of dollars into debt if it means saving my marriage, but if I'm going to end up divorced anyway, why spend all this money? Will I really be pleased with myself for "fighting" for my marriage as I try to dig myself out of debt?

I guess I've basically got three options:

1) Should I go to mediation by myself and save the attorney fees?
2) Should I ask my attorney to draw up a proposal and send it to opposing counsel to try to avoid mediation altogether?
3) Should I just go with the flow as I've been doing?

My strategy thus far has been to do the bare minimum to be seen as cooperative. I haven't pushed things along, but I haven't done anything to slow them, either.

[wmwb123]

I'm sorry, guys. I keep asking questions to which there are no answers. In the end I have to make the decision, right? It's a daily struggle that consumes my thoughts every waking hour. I don't want to think about it anymore. On the one hand, I don't see how the marriage is recoverable, but then I read stories of marriages that are recovered even when one spouse moves out. I just feel so lost. I change my mind from minute to minute.

[wmwb123]

I guess it will all be over soon enough. A couple more months at most. I think I'll just continue going with the flow. It's going to be expensive and put me in debt (I've never had debt before in my life), but I'll work my way through that, too. Life goes on.

[MrBond]

" I don't want to think about it anymore."

Then don't. What have you been doing to GAL?

[wmwb123]

I'm getting much more involved in church, helping out with the technical team. I'm there at least three days a week now. I'm also hanging out with friends whenever I can. Last weekend I helped my best friend watch 40 kids at his twins' 7th birthday party. That's something I normally would have passed on. I go to the gym regularly, and I do believe I'm seeing visible results now. I'm wary of taking on hobbies that cost money, because I see lots of debt in my future. Once things settle down I plan to take guitar lessons.

[wmwb123]

Thanks for chiming in, by the way, MrBond.

[MrBond]

And in what ways have you been changing to be a better MAN?

[wmwb123]

Well, I've got my "road rage" under control. I haven't blown my horn or tailgated anyone in months. I took that trip to Florida, and I actually prayed for bad drivers to cross my path. It doesn't bother me anymore when people cut me off or when people drive slow in the passing lane. I realized there are more important things to get upset over. This is really something I should have worked on/realized decades ago. It's embarrassing, actually, that it took me this long to figure out how trivial the issue of rude drivers is.

I'm also trying to be less selfish with my time. Little things here and there.

[MrBond]

Aside from the road rage, be more specific.