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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
You keep talking like your M was wonderful and he's a sadistic @$$ for leaving. When you first came on here it didn't sound all that great and it wasn't until he had someone else that you started making changes.

Right now he left to be happy or at least trying to do what he thinks will make him happy. Stop concentrating so much on him and give him space.

btw you need to start anew thread.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 96
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Zimmy Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 96
That's not entirely true. We had a very good relationship for most of our time together and there was nothing to warrant this treatment of me. I am not glorifying him at all - he is very flawed, but I gave him the best life he could have had.

And trust me - he has all the space he could want right now. I'm not going to respond or have any interaction with him except what's necessary for work.


Engaged Aug 2009
Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010
Happily re-engaged July 2012
Discovery of affair July 2014
Separated July 2014
Fiancé is confused about whom to choose
Chose the OW Oct 2014
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
"We had a very good relationship for most of our time together and there was nothing to warrant this treatment of me."

I'm not saying that he should treat you negatively, but I don't see where he's doing anything to actually go out of his way to hurt you. I mean, he's trying different things that he believes will make him happy. Just because you're not in that equation doesn't necessarily mean that he's "hurting" you.

"I am not glorifying him at all - he is very flawed, but I gave him the best life he could have had. "

Okay now you're just mindreading. That's from your perspective. Evidently he felt otherwise. There are no perfect relationships.

I mention all this because it's a typical phase that LBS's go through. They start coming up with their own rewritten history where they were perfect and the WAS was always the wrong one. Then they stop their "changes" and go back to old habits and wonder why the WAS hasn't come back yet. It happens.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

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