Gratitude

[Card29]

I'll add:

- I'm grateful for the planetarium and any documentary about space/universe. Something about the vastness of the universe has been oddly comforting to me.

[Maybell]

From Ss06

Luckily I'm alive, D is well and I have you folks. Phones don't matter that much in the scheme of things and I am not dead on the side of the freeway.

[Maybell]

From GoatGal:

Maybell,

I know hearing about your H's flirting antics has got to sting.
How could it not?

This will test your skill at re-framing his actions to reflect your knowledge that IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

You know you shouldn't take it personally.

At this point he is thinking of nothing but himself and his own happiness. He's grasping at straws. Maybe he will wake up one day, maybe he won't. But either way, it's not about you, although I know it feels like it.

(Now, if I could just take my own advice on that! smile )
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Meanwhile, this would be the perfect time to get back to your "Gratitude Thread"!

I try and do this myself every morning when I catch myself dreading what another day might bring.
So--- right before I throw up after the latest nightmare, this is what I review in my mind.
(Okay, so there are more things but I'm limiting it to ten. One of the "more things" were some really incredible dreams about a wonderful future which included some serious romance with someone new... that's nice for a change.)

1. I am grateful for everyone on this board. I am alone most of the time and with you guys I don't feel so isolated.

2. I am grateful for my own adaptability. I learn, I grow, I get better. I have overcome many obstacles in my life. For example, people who meet me now would never suspect that I have Asperger's or ADD. That speaks volumes about how MUCH I have improved my social skills. Of course, now I have people who think I'm making it up. smile

3. I am grateful for my old and new friends who have been so supportive of me during this time. Granted, I don't always agree with their advice, but I know their hearts are in the right place. I know they care about me and value me as a person.

4. I am grateful that H has not been as hellacious as some other spouses I've read about. He's pretty tame by comparison.

5. I am grateful that I have the freedom to pursue my passions, that I still have a working vehicle, a roof over my head, money to buy groceries/pet food, and Netflix. I do not want financially and I do appreciate that H has kept this going for me, if nothing else.

6. I am grateful for the unconditional love of my animals. They are always there adoring me for just being alive. They give me the physical affection I have been lacking otherwise. To them--I AM a GODDESS!

7. I am grateful for good health. I do suffer from some ailments but it's nothing life-threatening. More chronic pain... but in that vein, I am GRATEFUL FOR GOOD DRUGS! Chemistry has allowed me to sleep, to eat, and to ease the incredible anxiety I've felt for over a year now.

8. I am grateful for being adopted by parents who, although they were not perfect, instilled in me a sense of myself as a person of value, and who allowed me to be me.
I learned to learn, to be curious, to question, and to stretch myself. They exposed me to many things and taught me to think for myself.
As an ugly-duckling, socially awkward, Asperger-y Smarty-Pants, Fat, Bucktoothed NERD, my mother somehow made me believe I was beautiful. Because she saw me that way.

So many years later, people see me as "beautiful". Which astounds me.
But I think it's that my "inner beauty" that projects outward. I'm no fashion model.
But at my last dance weekend, a young (HOT!!!!) guy was just sitting on the sidelines and he said, very quietly:
"My god. I just LOVE... watching you dance!"
(Under other circumstances, I might have asked him to tell me more about this... but I am GRATEFUL for the good sense to know when to walk away. smile )
But hot guy aside, I get this comment all the time. For which I am grateful, even though my dancing is about me feeling good, not about looking good, but hey, I'll take it!

9. So---I am grateful that I can still KICK ASS on the dance floor, in the DJ booth, on stage, and in the recording studio. WHOOP! WHOOP!! (Hands in the air!!!!) And I know I'm not close to done. I'm still learning and doing more every day. I'll quit when I'm dead.

10. I am grateful that my regrets in this life are few. That I learn from my mistakes. That I take things to heart. That my life (hopefully) still has enough days left to make the most of what I'm learning EVERY. DARN. DAY. That when the end comes, I can say "I did the best I could. And you know? It was pretty impressive!"

[Maybell]

From Zues:


1. I have three AMAZING CHILDREN that bring joy into my life.
2. I have GROWN AS A FATHER and am able to FEEL the joy they bring into my life!
3. I have been blessed with gifts that have allowed me to be very successful in a CAREER that challenges and rewards me.
4. I have a super SUPPORT group consisting of my parents, some very good friends, my DB coach, IC, and ALL OF YOU!
5. I have GROWN AS A PERSON and feel more and more able to enjoy the fulfilling life I've been given.
6. I have combined my talent with hard, hard, hard work to become a CHAMPION pool player and earn money while winning tournaments and celebrating my gifts.
7. I am taking control of my finances and getting a NEW APARTMENT on 12/1. I can turn it into a bit of a man lair, have my children over, and feel at home. Did I mention their rec room has a pool table? Don't laugh! This is a HUGE win smile
8. I have the time to work on myself further and GAL. I am going to a cheesy movie tonight, but going with 3 good pool playing friends.
9. My parents understand what I'm going through and are HELPING me a bit with finances short term while I get back on my feet.
10. My STBX and I aren't at war and both have similar goals in terms of arrangements and being cooperative.

It's funny, when I was new here I couldn't keep track of each of these threads, who was who. And at first all I saw was 'bad news', i.e. marriages not being saved. Now I feel like I know many of you well, and what I see now is a whole lot of growth, guidance, support, goodwill, and some magic in the air. Forget about the M's for a minute...people are being changed for the better and their future lives are being saved! Let's hope some of those WAS's buy stock before the company goes public (whatever that even means)!!!

[Mozza]

Good idea. I'm grateful for

- My two daughters
- The DB forum
- My job, flexible and fulfilling
- My strength through all this
- My parents, ever so available
- My friends, surrounding me with compassion
- My financial stability
- My recent readings on love and relationships
- My remaining chances to get back with W!

[KGirl]

Good idea. I tried to do this every night but didn't stay on top of it after a few days.

I'm grateful for:
-my kitty
-My cute orange Honda Fit
-my thoughtful students this week who came to meetings prepared and with questions
-the glass of wine I'm drinking right now
-that chips were on sale at Target

That's all for now, but sometimes that's enough : )

[Card29]

KGirl, joy doesn't only have to come from the grandiose things in life. Sounds like a great night

[MLCx2]

I'm grateful for:
1. My excellent health and newly lost weight (even if how it came about was less than ideal)
2. My 2 beautiful, SMART and challenging Ds
3. My family - tho they're as yet unaware of my sitch
4. My H for putting up w me during my MLC. It's my turn to support him, even I'm not always feeling it.
5. My friends. Only a few are aware of my sitch, but they've been more than supportive of
6. My job. It's flexible and the people are so great.
7. Discovering the power of meditation
8. My therapist and the DB book and this forum