Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Ah the TI99...


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
So been splitting the book, movie and cd collection, decided to only take what was mine before or I really want and I know W doesnt. Anything we got together Im leaving. If W wants to try together we can remerge it all if not I'll be better off not having those things around.

Despite asking W has made no effort to help although thinking about it thats the case since this began. Her parents got her basics and S's her clothes are still in the wardrobe etc. I thought it was because there was no room and it wasnt because this was planned as shes only coming here as a last resort (or so she says but S says she did see a lot of flats before facing the financial truth) I think she just cant face it, I'd love to think she's not sure and she's telling the truth on needing time to think but I'm inside I'm just so hurt right now and feeling so abandoned that I think Im just projecting what I want.

This.
Truly.
Blows.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Indeed it does.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
It was a car boot purchase with loads of books and loads of games and blank micro drives .
One day I will see if it works lol. Was only 20 pounds


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Well W still wont get into a face to face or on the phone discussion on splitting contents up.

Best I got was an email telling me she wasnt being cold just practical.

Since I've spent the past 3 months being "practical" and the last month "practically" arranging a new place to live, tennancy agreements and vetting and the last week and a half starting to rip apart the last third of my lifes contents I was, lets say, a little miffed. Especially since she, to all intents, moved to her mothers and stayed there. Yes she looked at other places and filled in a DSS housing benefit form but thats it, all the rest has been me replacing the car etc grrr. She did say she's putting the car in to be looked at - this follows two weeks of her telling me it was playing up, I didnt know if that was fishing for me to have it fixed but I wasnt biting on that one!

Anyway I didnt get into a shouting competition just went back with an email answering each of the points and items she'd mentioned. It was late in the day by this point so I probably was more sentimental than I should have been in closing, I said that I wasnt angry with her, but again this wasnt what I wanted, I think she feels differently about all this since this is what she says she wants but its a horrible thing to do and I do hope we can put it all back together and if she wants to talk about that or decides its what she wants I'll be happy to work with her.

Also asked about S's card meeting on friday, it's a special "release" event for new packs. Sadly it's also Halloween and S is off to a fireworks and Haloween party so wont be seeing him although I will ask W what time it finishes and where and if I can pick him up instead and have him saturday, I imagine MIL will be continuing to spread her vitriol in the background so probably not but I'll keep being the positive one.

About 42 days to moving now which both seems an eternity in this place by myself and a terrifyingly short period to get everything I need done completed by myself.

I am frustrated with W, she's left me to do this entirely by myself at which point she will "swan" back in and then only have to deal with a few bits, be a sense of achievement I suppose and it will be S and I's place unless W chooses to join us later on. Its been difficult going through our books, music and movies - each with a strong memory. Left me feeling even lower than I thought I could get. I think leaving a lot of things here for S and W (I left some special collectors books W bought me on S's bookcase as he likes to look through them. I was trying to decide if that was being snarky and destructive or just protecting myself against pain later on. I carry memories strongly (uif you havent picked up on that yet) and feel them deeply unfortunately, some things I was given by my Mum still hurt to see now 18 years after she died so I was worried on the first night in the new place if I look around and see those that remind me of W... I dont know how I would react.

Anyway enough maudlin...work to do.

Last edited by edz; 10/29/14 10:02 AM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Well that went bad quickly.

Texted asking about picking S up on friday, I wouldnt have been phased at a no or any other response than what I got.

W doesnt want him staying over at the flat it upsets him.

Cut and paste from a few weeks ago, now what could have changed her....oh yes, MIL is back. Afraid I just burned myself bad on that one, texted (stupid I know but she wont deal with me any other way, is always "busy", like talking with a teenager) to say please stop saying this is upsetting S when its an issue with her mother, S isnt upset unless he's flat out lying to me when I discuss it with him. Said that this isnt a subject for texts either but W wont sit down or make time to talk unless its more demands. Then totally blew it and said I know she wants to huirt me ...

She followed up with an email (sigh) saying it wasnt connected to her mother but was that the flat was being split. I take her point but replied that she absolutely has to call me or speak in person about this kind of thing texting just is not appropriate and is open to misunderstanding as just happened. She also blew me off from seeing her on her birthday which I was expecting but doesnt hurt any less.

Well this evening Im not doing anything with this sodding flat, I've reached a point I dont care, just me and a bottle of rum as soon as works over.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
And of course now, silence....... I really hate my life right now.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Well we did pick up on an email, I've now put two personal boundries in place, firstly I dont want to deal with MIL in any way unless its connected to the appartment which cant be avoided and secondly anything relating to S or our R we do via phone call or in person unless its very very quick (he's left his coat here shall I drop it off? That kind of thing)

W said she would give me a ring "later" at 11:30 ish this morning, now 7pm nothing as yet. If Im honest Im expecting nothing or an email or text possibly berating me possibly just saying shes been busy. I wont tell her but I did break down this afternoon. Just found myself uncontrollably sobbing and I couldnt stop. Feel a little better this evening but I still feel like Im missing a rudder, it's odd, Im not afraid or feeling "needy" I just dont want to be alone, tried going out after work to see if exercise would help - it didnt and I left after 15 minutes, just wanted to go home.

If anyone was worried no I didnt open any alcohol, just have soft drink. Taken an evening off preparations to pack as cant face it this evening.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
..As she just did, been busy and will try tomorrow... Beyond being angry or upset now, its not W its just life and I need to chill out and calm down.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
I sometimes wonder if the reason WAS finds detaching so easy is because they have kind of detached from reality.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Page 10 of 11 1 2 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard