Dynamic of a family revised

[Mighty]

OK, so... I am feeling pretty good about things. One thing though, it is clear to me that he is still so selfish and really does not consider my kids' feelings. The idea of me finding 'satisfaction' just makes it about him and me... not the kids.

Should I send a truth dart? As much as I want to leave it alone, I want him to get smacked with this. (I could text him, I just want you to know... or wait until next communication?)

Seeing my kids hurt will never bring me satisfaction.

Thoughts? Should I bother?

[Mighty]

Yey me! I am so happy to see you guys are with me on this!! I had to STEP AWAY to compose myself and not allow it to drag me down.

Thank you Brook, Matt, kml, bea!!!! Whew! I love your posts to me- they made me proud of myself!! Matt, yup, same ol' story!

uR- That was funny! I see how you did that!!

And I picked up some new friends! BRNR- sorry you have to deal with the same junk. Yuck!
Jack- what a pleasant surprise! Did I intrigue you with my bull-headed thoughts on tad's thread? (ha! I know... nothing too exciting) So glad you stopped by!

Thanks guys! You are such and amazing help and support. I find comfort and strength knowing you are here.

[Mighty]

Or,

It does not matter to me that you continue to make assumptions as to how you think I feel. However, I will make one thing clear: Seeing my children hurting will never bring me satisfaction.

I will say this one more time. Your relationship with the kids is exactly that.

Any thoughts?

Because I don't say much, I want my communication to say something. Whether or not it does anything, he does think about it. I'm sure. Well... not totally sure.

[Wonka]

Slow down, Mighty! Remember the high road, right? No response is needed. Really.

[Mighty]

That's all I needed. Exactly why I came here and didn't respond. Geesh. Thank you. But it was good practice for when I do have to respond or have the right opportunity to slide it in. Thanks, Wonka.

I think the high road in my atlas is uncharted for me. Navigation can be tricky. Sometimes I have to stop and ask for directions.

[Mighty]

And, Wonka! Is that you??!!! He1l-to-the-o!

[kml]

Yeah, stick to the high road. If he brings it up again, you can say simply: "I do not disparage you to the children and I expect you to do the same".

[uRworthy]

Yea, Mighty, right now all he would hear is "blah, blah, blah." He isnt ready to hear anything and you would just be spinning your wheels.

Be you. Be who you want to be. Every time. That should be your compass...regardless of what he says or does.

[2BHappy]

@Mighty

Hang in there, stay on the high road.

Those "truth" darts have to be timed exactly right to hit the target and you have to wait until your frustration and or anger has passed.

And sometimes saying NOTHING allows with they say to sink back into their own mind..instead of them focusing on going back and forth with you, they might "think" about what they just said.

[Mighty]

Hey guys. Thanks. I feel I have given lots of silence. Almost 4 months. I don't intend to Change it, but want to use opportunities for setting it straight. He can take it or leave it. I'm glad I didn't say anything last night. Silence is golden. I will continue to remain quiet and use his communication as an opportunity to say what's needed- only when needed. Not accusatory nor emotional, just to the point.

Yesterday's email convo continued to today.

Xh: that's good. Do you know why he said those things to me out of nowhere?

Me: no. Honestly we really don't talk about you. The kids get super upset, so I try to avoid any conversation about you, unless it is to tell a funny story from the past or something. I did hear him and d13 talking about you blowing up their phone or something. He was really annoyed about it.

I just want to be clear about something: seeing my children hurting will never bring me satisfaction.

Xh: ok. My apologies for that statement.