So my W Grandmother died today. She asked me to come to the hospital with her. Her attitude through this whole thing has been strange. She has shown no sadness and has been very jovial and making jokes. I asked her if she wanted to come home tonight and she said ok. I didn't think she should be alone through this.
So deal with the death of my W grandmother has been a ride. She asks me to go do things with her about the funeral in the "do you want to go blank with me, or I can drive myself". I told her that I am here for her and in her corner. I'm in limbo because she seems to be actively trying not to fall in love with me. It's like a huge wall pops up when we are having fun together. We talk and can make plans for the future as a family but not H and W. This is so hard.
Went to the funeral and came home. She has been talking to me a lot and called me baby. She has not called me that in awhile. She has also been home a lot lately.
Just read some post and they helped a lot to know that I am not going through this alone. W has been home for awhile now a little over a week. Between the funeral and work she has been home a lot. We have been talking still about nothing important but talking. I have been initiating some touching that she does not seem to have a problem. I gave her a hug and a kiss today and she said it was ok. Earlier today she talked to her Aunt about the holidays and said we have to spend Thanksgiving with her family this year. She seems to be really happy at home and we are working together more to raise the kids it's not so one sided now. I have also noticed that she is starting to let me see more of her body now. When she told me she was no longer attracted to me she started to cover up but now more and more she is not. I don't know when she will put it all together that all the individual things we do now is what she wanted but I have to hope it's working. She is now the one telling me what we are doing in the future. As far as doing things together she still has a wall built up I can't seem to breach. I just keep on being the best me I can.
Spent the day with my W. Went to all the places she wanted and she seemed to be enjoying herself. She called me babe again today and this time didn't change back and just say my name.still can't understand why she has compartmentalized our relationship. She has split it up and deals with each one differently. If she put it all together she could see she is happier home than when she isn't. I'll see how she deals with the holidays.
Enjoy every minute of it. I have learned that I took way too much for granted in years past.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
So my W will go back to her place tonight. She has been home for the most part for two weeks. Things have been getting better she still will not talk about R but she is talking to me. She also called me by a pet name again. She also seems to be more comfortable at home and is starting to include herself in things. I hope things are working.
So W came home a little late and said she would be staying home tonight. She was in a bad mood from work. I told her to relax and get ready for bed while I made her dinner. She asked if I went to work today and i told her I did. Usually when she says this I missed something that set her off. She said it was nothing and I left her alone and did not pressure her. I sent her a email to let her know what I had done today and she said that I didn't do anything she was just frustrated. I let her know it was alright to feel this way and that I was in her corner. She said thank you and left it at that.
