A New Day

[ericmsant2]

LT

I am getting more comfortable with the idea of taking off to do things for myself again when the kids are with her.

I cannot stress how important this is. Taking time for you will help, you, the kids and everything else in your life. So….what types of things do you want to do? I found that making a list/plans help.

Other than my back, it was a good weekend

Did you go to the Dr?

I can see through her actions that my wife is starting to reconnect with my daughters.

Just remember….it is NOT your job to fix the R between them. It is YOUR job to not do anything that makes it worse.

Almost a bit like she is competing with me.

IMO, the minute you even think like this….your setting yourself up to FEEL like this. This is not a competition and I know you are not saying that it is. Be careful here..is all I’m saying.

She pleads poverty and sends all their bills to me through the kids to get them covered.

Get used to this ^^^^^ it may be this way for a long time……

An a separate note: How is work, house, etc.?

[Lifes Twists]

Hi Eric,

My first day off plan is this coming Saturday. I have a hankering for some fried clams. So I plan on leaving Saturday morning with our silk terrier and head up to Kittery Maine for lunch. Gonna try a clam shack I saw on TV. Then I am gonna swing up to North Conway New Hampshire and pick up the Kangumangus Highway across to Lincoln. Probably stopped along the Kang for a hike to see a waterfall or such. Then I will swing south along east side of ct river till I get to the wood covered bridge crossing the CT river at around woodstock Vt and pick up 91 south back home. Hopefully it will be a nice day for a drive.

I didn't go to Dr. Lots of ibeprophen and taking it easy.

I don't get involved with wife or daughters. She needs to do this on her own as you have said. I don't offer anything nor do I get in the way of things.

I am being careful. I am more concerned that if she lets 19 yr old daughter get car to commute to school, then 18 yr old daughter will want the same since she will also be commuting. in most respects if she is competing then it is a change from her and may help her heal more. I don't plan on competing. I just plan on being the best dad I can be. I just have to keep it in mind to make sure it does not get out of hand or the girls start to play one against the other. That could cause issues and has to be managed.

In terms of work? Now that things seem to be settling down I plan on starting my search for work. I had a good summer off with the girls and have my head screwed back on. So, tomorrow morning I will be talking to head hunter.

The house is on hold right now at lawyers request. He did not want me to continue putting money in it to finish it until its status has been resolved. I suspect having all three girls living there now with one in high school and two commuting to college will probably stack thing in my favor to keep the house for now with future sale after kids are done with school. So for now I get to look at un finished house.

[ericmsant2]

I have a hankering for some fried clams.

I had some of the best clam fritters with some friends in Galilee RI. If you ever get a chance to get up there it is a nice little town.

woodstock Vt

IF you like wine…there is a nice vineyard in Woodstock. I think the tasting are 10 bucks.

Sounds like you have a great weekend planned. Good for you.

In terms of auto transportation……if I recall the girls are attending UCONN – right? I believe that in order to park on campus, you need to purchase a parking permit and Freshmen are not allowed to park. I would check into this…at least you would have a reason why you would not need to buy a car for D18.

Now that things seem to be settling down I plan on starting my search for work. I had a good summer off with the girls and have my head screwed back on. So, tomorrow morning I will be talking to head hunter.

Good luck!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Hi-jack - Those were GREAT fritters.

[Mach1]

Hi-jack - Those were GREAT fritters.

Yes they were....



: )

[ericmsant2]

Another road trip? Just say the word.....

Sorry for the hijack LT.

[Lifes Twists]

Pick a Saturday and I am up for it. Clam fritters and quahog tenders sounds like it will hit the spot.

Yes the girls will be attending UCONN as commuters. I suspect the car thing is different for commuters so I am not sure freshman thing will count. We have to see if their mother will be able to get any breaks on parking for them too.

Not sure if I will get down to Woodstock in time. I also think there is a brewery there as well.

[Lifes Twists]

Hope everyone had a great holloween. Mine is always quiet as the neighborhood is mostly retired people and just a couple kids. I had just one trick or treater.

Plans for saturday did not goes as planned because it was bad weather. So I did something else for future GAL activity. I used to have a jeep wrangler. Wife made me sell it after second daughter was born. I had a lot of fun with it. I have an all wheel drive jeep commander right now. It was in for repairs recently and they made me an all cash offer to buy it back. So Saturday instead of traveling up north I went Jeep shopping. I ended up ordering a new 2015 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited 4 door version. I know it seems a bit crazy, but it will open up unlimited GAL activity for myself as well as trips and adventures with my daughters. Now, I just need to figure out how to pay for it. Luckily my monthly payment will not go up much.

Later on saturday my youngest called. She had fight with sisters at her moms place and wanted to come home. So, I picked her up. I asked her if she let her mom know she was leaving and daughter said she would figure it out. I sent a text to wife that i had picked up daughter. Beyond that I did nothing. In the past i would have made an effort to fix things. I held myself back this time. Its up to my wife how she works on her relationship with daughters and not up to me to fix things. If she wanted she could come over to talk to daughter and try to fix things so daughter would go back. She chose not to. I feel bad wife chose not to do anything. What I found interesting is daughters use of words to come home. She considers this home and her moms as visiting.

I am going to try my trip north again next weekend.

[Lifes Twists]

Nice quiet weekend. Things seem to be settling down. The girls spent most of the weekend with their mother. The dropped in a couple time to get things. My middle daughter did ask if we would have a real christmas tree this year. Last year they did not have really anything in the dark apartment they were in with their mother. I said of course we would have a tree. The girls seem to more and more look on this as their home again. There is no real talk that I hear of them moving back down to live with their mother. I remember when they originally moved how excited they were. Reality has set in and they see how much a home can mean to them.

I have been spending time helping my oldest two to get ready to start part time jobs. I have also been helping oldest to purchase a car for herself. Wife offered to get insurance for herself and daughters car. This makes it doable for us and will mean I will pay less each month as I will have 2 less drivers and one less car on my policy.

I have heard nothing from lawyer in about a month. I suspect there was no movement on FIL taking over wifes life. Best thing I did was to tell my lawyer to butt out and to hold back filling his coffers to spend. I will have to tweak him and see where things stand.

I have little to no contact with wife right now. I do keep and contact to one or two words. I do believe in her mental state she is fixated on the divorce solving all her problems and bring her happiness. I feel she needs to get past this and then maybe she will start to figure things out. I do not want to support it, but don't want to appear to be in the way of it happening. So, I will have to contact lawyer to see if we need to do anything to not appear to be obstructing it.

[Lifes Twists]

I still have trouble wrapping my mind around how messed up these MLCers are. Yesterday I heard from my lawyer that he has heard nothing from wife attorney other than he is having trouble communicating with her. The problem is the divorce she filed for will move along even if she does not participate. If we can't get any communication then we most likely will have several more court dates costing more money that neither of us can afford. She filed for the divorce, says she wants it, yet won't even communicate with her lawyer. I don't even think there is a way we can put a brake on things till she is willing to participate.

Very strange how screwed up the become in their heads.