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My H said he does not regret his actions just regrets the pain he caused me. THAT is part of the reason I am done.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
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What an A$$.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Mar 2014
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Jefe..... you have no clue the crap I have been through..... you want to take your mind off your sitch for a while? Search and read my thread, although you might feel the urge to physically hurt my H........

Sorry to hijack......

It's rough, I get that. But the hardest part is after they come home. I didn't make it. I can be here to sympathize with you right now though. You feel like you would give anything for him to be home, that it would be so much better if OW were out of the picture...... I get it and I am here to give virtual hugs and try to make you smile.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 31
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Zimmy..I feel your pain and have been going through a very difficult situation as well. My husband of 16 yrs chose to be with one of my good friends..very devistating for our family! Most of what I hear is to just focus on becoming the best we can be. That might be anything from starting a new hobby or working out at the gym but something that makes us feel good about ourselves! Be strong and he will realize what he's lost! Hopefully sooner than later for the both of us smile


M:37 H: 38
Married 16/ T20
Son: 16
Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14
Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 96
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Zimmy Offline OP
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Posts: 96
Thank you intime. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It's unbelievable what they are doing to us.

I am packing up my house by myself and crying the whole time. I can't believe this.


Engaged Aug 2009
Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010
Happily re-engaged July 2012
Discovery of affair July 2014
Separated July 2014
Fiancé is confused about whom to choose
Chose the OW Oct 2014
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 96
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Do you believe that down the road they will realize what they've lost? On one hand I can't believe that my ex wouldn't see reality once he sees reality. On the other hand, if he is so sure of his decision right now, why would that change? He tells me that we had a great relationship but now he just wants something different, maybe someone who is not so much alike...


Engaged Aug 2009
Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010
Happily re-engaged July 2012
Discovery of affair July 2014
Separated July 2014
Fiancé is confused about whom to choose
Chose the OW Oct 2014
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
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Posts: 1,104
Zimmy. I have been on both sides of the equation. I was once a wayward spouse. Yes, there will be a reckoning one day. You cant walk out in the middle of a relationship and start a new one the same day, or the same month, or the same year for that matter, and not have an awakening at some point. But it comes on it's own and no outside force can bring it about any sooner.

Listen to NOTHING he says. The fog has warped his brain.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 96
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Jefe - thank you, thank you! Would love to hear more about your experience while wayward - what happened, why, how did you detach, etc.? It helps me to believe that there is a chance for the fog to dissipate...


Engaged Aug 2009
Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010
Happily re-engaged July 2012
Discovery of affair July 2014
Separated July 2014
Fiancé is confused about whom to choose
Chose the OW Oct 2014
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
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Posts: 1,104
I encourage you to go back to my situation from the beginning. That will paint a clearer picture than I can do in one or two posts.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 31
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Posts: 31
Zimmy..

It truly is unbelievable..how could these men love us so dearly one day then the next be totally detached?? I have no answer but I'm going to keep loving my husband regardless of the situation and as long as we have love in our hearts we can either reconcile if they come out of the fog or move on! It is so sad and very hard but be strong, we can do this!


M:37 H: 38
Married 16/ T20
Son: 16
Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14
Papers delivered: 9/4/14
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