I agree with ^^^ job. Your H is lost in his thick fog and wants you to make the choice for him ... and he may be testing you a bit to see if you have changed in this way .. you being "ok" with him moving out is probably really confusing him ya know? Its like a kid ... "Can I go play in traffic?... Wait ... WHAT? you said OK?".
I would almost brace for a little fight ... something to justify him leaving ... he is most likely wrestling with this .. so a nice justification fight would be in order ... atleast that's how my MLC'r makes the hard choices.
I agree, and yes, it may come down to him nitpicking you about something and using the argument as the excuse to leave. You've come a long way in a short amount of time. Continue as you have been. Don't allow him to rattle you about anything.
Thanks guys. Ya, I also was thinking the same. He must be really confused that I am ok with this. And since things have been so well at home, we are getting along so well, that things don't really justify him leaving. Not to mention his fear of looking like "the bad guy". His words.
Funny thing is, I really am ok with it! Almost looking forward to it. Kinda really looking forward to it.... Our Sitch isn't consuming me lately, my own happiness is! Feels good, I hope it lasts.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Your h is confused and quite frankly, he just doesn't know what to make of you. You aren't begging, pleading or crying over his decision to move and that throw him.
You are going to be just fine whether he moves or not.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H pulled me aside last night when he got home from work to tell me he met with the owner at the house he was looking at and decided not to take it. Something about the wiring in the house and that he got a bad vibe. I just said ok, good to follow your gut.
I have mixed feelings, but proud of him for actually making a decision on his own! So life goes on.
I so love this time of year. I am a holiday nut. Last year it was a really painful time for me. This year, I am ready to enjoy. It's all I can do to keep from pulling out the Christmas decorations!
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Your h is my xh's twin. When my xh went looking for another place, he had some excuses such as the place didn't have Anderson windows or the intercom in the house didn't work, or it didn't have carpeting except in the bedrooms. This went on for a week or so and when started talking about leaving after Christmas, I slept on his comments and the next day, I opened the cage door and helped him make the decision to go now and not wait. If I hadn't done this, he would still be living at home and talking about leaving every ten minutes. The stress and tension were too high and I had had enough of his crazy behavior by this point. I hope your h doesn't follow in the same foot steps. LOL!
It'd never too early to decorate. I saw a house the week before Halloween that had the trees and eaves already decorated and lit up in the red, green and white bulbs. I'm sure you and your son will have a wonderful holiday season. Has he said what he would like for Christmas?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Lol Job. I would love to learn more of your story, I only know bits and pieces. I guess I am lucky that we are living in harmony at the moment. But yes, if it kept taking me to a point that was too much for me and S, I wouldn't hesitate to give him that push. Things have been pretty uneventful and calm, but I know that can change at any moment and am prepared for it and stay on guard
S is asking for an xbox 360 from Santa. We are not pleased as he is addicted to games, Minecraft in particular. We don't want to encourage it by getting a new game system so I'm not sure what we are going to do! Santa is going to disappoint for the first time ever! Someone suggested having him come up with a few different ideas for Santa, that way it's not like Santa ignored his request.
As for me, I want gift cards for my favorite massage place! Boy do I deserve some pampering.
How about everyone else? Any special Christmas wishes? What do you want Job?
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
ughhhh That Mine craft .. and video games in general. I really limit this at my place .. but its out of my hands when he is with W, we have had delicate talks about this as the MLC'r hates to be called out on anything ... I just suggest he read or something more constructive as I think the video games increase them acting out ... S is a very good grounded kid, thankfully he likes to read, but would prefer the gaming!@
I think I would ask your son to come up w/a few additional ideas so that Santa will have some other things to work on as well. My nephew was into the xbox and all of those games for about 2 years and now he doesn't touch them at all. He's moved on to playing in a band made up of 3 or 4 other young men in his class on Wednesday evenings.
What do I want for Christmas? I haven't given it much thought. Probably to remain healthy and find something to smile about each day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
