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Journaling:

1 - I've decided not to go to the concert on Sunday with the woman from work. Even though she is nice and super-cool, I need to not rush into anything. I will remain just friends for now and see what happens later on down the road.

2 - S28 informed me that he is moving out next month to move in with his girlfriend. Makes me happy and a little sad, but it is time. 1 down, 3 to go. It will set the rest of us back a little financially, but we'll be ok.

3 - I'm a little down today. I think one of my little ratties is getting close to passing. She just hasn't been the same today. I'm hoping that she is just having a down day, but rats usually don't live more than 18-24 months. She'll be 2 years old on November 16th. The other one that was born a week later seems fine and is still very energetic. They are my little babies. I never thought that I could get so attached to two little rats....

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Posts: 1,326
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Just more journaling:

After a long search, I've finally found a Rat Rescue organization here in the Phoenix area. So....I've decided as a form of therapy (because I'm sure I'll need it), when my little ratties pass, I will become involved with them in some capacity.

They are looking for donations, volunteers, quarantine homes, adoptive parents and foster homes. I've decided that I will volunteer in any way that I can. I would like to become a foster home, but I'm afraid to since I seem to get too attached. I would permanently adopt a few, but I'm just so afraid to own any more that will just die in a year or two. It is a shame too because they make such awesome pets. I know it is not right to feel this way, but I'm just so afraid. I don't want any more grief. I'm just not sure if I can handle any more. Owning more rats would just set me up for more grief down the line. I'm done with the sadness.

I really hate to say this but, I honestly don't know if I would have taken the two that I currently have if I would have known how attached I would become. I surely didn't plan to. I was never like this before all of the garbage that was dealt to me in the last few years. Yeah, I changed...and not sure if it is for the better.

I'm pretty sure many of you think it is sad and pathetic to feel this way about some animals that most people despise, and the fact that I'm a grown man, but I can't help the way I feel.

Sorry for being ridiculous.......

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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My animals are truely part of my family. Yes I grieve their passing but I don't dwell on it.
Maybe if it helped try a pet with a longer life span. The best thing I did was adopt an x racing grey hound. He doesn't need heaps of exercise he sleeps about 23.5 hours per day. The other 1/2 hour is running and eating! grin

He's graceful and very affectionate dog, he will throw his head under your hand and follow you while you troll from room to room. He will snuggle and rub his face in your lap. Or a cat or a bird

The grey hounds in au will let your foster a few till you find one you like, or fits your home.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,077
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Tad, becoming attached to our pets is normal. Grieving their passing... normal too. Nothing sad or pathetic about it.

W and I recently said goodbye to our dog of 16 years. It hurts, we cried.

There are many ways to help deal with the pain of the loss. We set up a table with her remains and a few pictures. A memorial. We sometimes still say hi to her when we wake up or come home. We talk about her personality and some of the times we shared together.

One thing I can tell you for sure... I would never trade all the joy and good times she brought to our lives, just to avoid the pain of her passing. I learned when our first dog passed 16 years ago, the pain slowly is replaced with joyful memories.


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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Hi everyone. Thought I would come here and respond, journal and maybe get a few 2x4s.

smile

Quote:
Maybe if it helped try a pet with a longer life span. The best thing I did was adopt an x racing grey hound.


I would like to get a little dog someday, but I really can't as long as I'm living where I'm living. The rent on them in my apartment is fairly expensive and I just wouldn't really have the room for one.

Quote:
He's graceful and very affectionate dog, he will throw his head under your hand and follow you while you troll from room to room.


My rats actually do this. smile
I usually will let them out of their cage and let them run around for several hours during the day. One of them will actually follow me around the room like a little puppy. The other one will actually seek me out, crawl into my lap and lay her head in my palm when she wants scratched behind her ears. They are by far the smartest and most tame pets that I've ever had.

Quote:
Grieving their passing... normal too. Nothing sad or pathetic about it.


Thanks ForeverYoung.

I hope I won't be in that position anytime soon. They have perked up the last few days. It is just sad watching them get old and feeble. They have actually helped me more through the depression than anything.

Quote:
One thing I can tell you for sure... I would never trade all the joy and good times she brought to our lives, just to avoid the pain of her passing.


Yeah. I know. It just seems like every time I get close to something/someone, I lose them one way or the other. I'm just not sure if I want to set myself up for that when my little girls pass. I'd love to have more, and I probably will someday, but probably not any time soon. They really do make amazing pets. We shall see.

I believe if more people weren't so freaked out by their tails and realized what great pets they make, more people would have them. I was the same way about them until I got the two that I have. I've handled them since they were about the size of my pinky finger and before their eyes were even open every day. It is amazing just how tame a rat can become.

Journaling:

S22 has another show coming up on the 20th. I plan to go. They are actually starting to get noticed by a few good promoters. It is kind of exciting. It does suck though because he plays all of that "death metal" crap and there really isn't a radio station in America that would play them. I've been trying to convince him to look into becoming a studio musician just to have something to fall back on.

I'm beginning to think that I might have an ulcer. I've had some really painful burning in my stomach from time to time. Some days, I'm fine. Other days, it flares up pretty badly.

Now the 2x4s...

My wonderful female friend at work....Man, oh man.

In the 4 years since XW's MLC began, I've casually seen 3 ladies, but they never really amounted to much because I was numb. I was cold as ice and felt nothing. I cared nothing about them and could care less if we continued to see each other or if I never saw them again. Again, I was like stone. I felt absolutely nothing. I wasn't even sure if I would ever feel (or ever wanted to feel) anything again.

That is starting to change towards this one.....It is the first time I have felt anything like this since XW left. It is really nice, but also really scary.

I find myself thinking about her a lot. I only see her at work two days a week, but we have some amazing conversations.

Funny thing is, I haven't asked her out or anything yet, but I kind of think that she digs me too. In the last two weeks she has said things like:

"I always look forward to working with you."

"I like talking to you because we get each other and talk about the same things."

"You always make the time go by so fast." (Has said this multiple times.)

When she found out that my schedule might be changing in a few weeks, she asked what it was going to be and then said:

"Nice. I'll get to see you three days a week."

I REALLY want to ask her out, but know that some on this board think it is a bad idea. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. If I don't, I might end up in a "what might have been" situation. But....if I do, there is always the possibility of being rejected. I wouldn't even know how to go about doing it seeing how I've never really had to ask a girl out since I was 17.

It is weird feeling this way. I haven't felt this way since I met XW. As I said, I find myself thinking about her a lot. It is a crazy-wonderful feeling, but also very scary. To be honest, it scares the crap out of me...I think she feels the same, but wish I could know for sure. Again, scared...

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Do you want to?

Then if the answer is yes, take a risk, who knows it might pay off.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,165
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Tad didn't u say she looked a lot like ur ex? That is what bothers me.
You do deserve to have fun tad but u also are very raw still.

After my divorce, for the longest time I was attracted to men that were bald headed. I had my mind set on that look only....know why? Because my ex was bald headed. Get what I'm saying?

Just make sure u are Attracted to her for the right reasons. I still say friend zone for awhile. Others may give different advice but u are still healing and haven't really found Tad yet. Enjoy life to the fullest Tad. When u can enjoy your time alone, look in the mirror and love the person looking back....that is freedom to me.
Find your freedom and enjoy life.

Hugs,
Renee


_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
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Thanks for the responses.

Quote:
Do you want to?


I really do. It will just depend on the amount of courage that I can work up.

Quote:
Tad didn't u say she looked a lot like ur ex? That is what bothers me.


Yes. To an extent, she does. The more I get to know her though, the less she looks like XW. Is that weird? But yes, she is very petite and has the jet-black hair like ex. She doesn't look a lot like her from the front. It is just mostly when I see her from the back.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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She might say no, she also might be looking at being fired for a long while too.

Just pack up those expectations.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,326
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Well, I asked her a "hypothetical" question about dating people at work. She said.....................

"No."

Oh well.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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