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I don't doubt he was assaulted on the quiet. I don't doubt his words.

I do know h always went to great lengths to prove s16 totally untruthful he did the same to a degree with me to others.

I do know s16 has memory issues as add. S16 is very good at turning issues where he should be held accountable to something he's done to being totally innocent. Ie hanging out with smothers while smoking but s16 is very anti smoking as his grandfather died of a hole in the Kung smoking related traumatic for a 7-8yo.

So my logical side knows there will be 2 sides plus the facts. Which were always very muddy, given al, the gas lighting going on my head is spinning to a degree more of indignation not rumination.

I do know the whole stigma of being branded the craze one. One of my besties of 30 years long before h came along tryed to tell me I was crazed when I wanted someone to talk to about what ss25 said about h crazee memory loss and out right fibbing. Her response he was fine at Saturdays charity do.

What I saw at mediation of h was a man who used to take pride in his appearance walk in dressed in second hand jumper belonging to his son, shirt with collar disorganised under jumper, this time clean jeans, last time jean were dirty. Presentation was off!
This man would make a big deal if I had a crumb on my face. Volatile blaming, others anger, memory loss, frantic doing, jumpy demeanour, unable to focus, forgetting minor stuff, being unable to express him, self violent outbursts are all a part of early dementure along with depressive moods. While I now really am not feeling like I want my h nor have my feeling of romance towards him I am more concerned for what may happen for his son, who lives with him.

If h is sliding down into dementure related problems, his son will have very little idea what he's letting himself in for. One friend has just gone down this crazed road for the last 4 years. The police nearly charged her for assaulting her mum and dumping her in a shopping center. Real story mum ran off got confused and told fibbers.

Another is in the stage h seems to be at with her h, he is total dementure at home when relaxed no need to put out an act. Then when out he can fool his own dr, about how well he is. Walk out door and say "who was that and why were we here again" with no idea at all. It concerns me being their neighbour.

Those facts are what makes me uncomfortable amount other things with h Big Bang plan.
The Big Bang plan is h delivers my property etc from mediation settlement in 6 trips over 2-3 days. He knows I am very uncomfortable with h being on my property.

Last time h was here inside my house he used it to check up on me! Ie go thru my bedroom and enter it. Blerk.
I have been inside his house once at his request, to have coffee. It was an awful experience, will not do it again.

Enough of the crap, might be going out with my oldest bestie to a cow boy event,
* Fans self*
Blushes
The guy I've dubbed hottest thing on legs at work I suspect will more than likely be there.
He now openly greets me, and will oogly me like Wednesday after work. That old saying turns heads applies. So if he asked me out need to practice but he's scarey younger than me.

"Hell yeah,"

Other dude that was from the past just a omg I wish I was good looking enough for that! Past
He's been separated and divorced nearly 2 years. He's a might for being there too. So at least I will know a couple of friendly blokes to chat to.
a fear of mine turning up to things not knowing anyone and feeling fish outta water.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Well what do db say about the real story could be vastly different to the truth?

I went to the cow boy school, turns out the location wasn't where I thought so I still went but it was for total novices, in other words kiddies! Sigh.
Oh well.

Went and saw L she said its damn complicated compared to most, even still she says I contributed a lot more than h ever gave me credit for. Even down to him keeping some stuff like and av when I did the courses she's a loss to explain his position on those. She also said h figures just don't stack up, given his savings and spendings

She is going to write and ask him for his records and then we figure out what is true and what is not.

Looking at doing what ggg is doing and getting help for the horses, although I can't afford to pay in $ so I might do a knowledge trade. Get someone to teach me some of the skills I need to expand, teach another trainer some of my specialist skills.

Oh and I found some Christmas money ( that i had saved) as I came thru the city shops a little patent leather red hand bag may have followed me home. Also with bestie I bought some Lacey singlets to wear for summer, very cute 4x $20 a sheer bargain., how could I not?

Cleaned more things that don't fit any more filled a bin bag, but failed my goal of filling the wheelie bin each week with de cluttering. Re organised the undies and bra
Drawer. I now have enough lacy stuff to wear every single day found some bras that fit now as well. Lined them up from biggest to smallest, also found my real stockings, hidden in the draw. whistle Went to a friends for coffee and we ended up have 2 wines, that inspired me to clean the draws seeing her way of organising.

We also acquired a poddy lamb over the weekend it was pretty quiet and we thought it missed its first drink. So we gave it 48 hours max on Saturday, it's now day 3.

Oh and one of my tops I've been changing into at work to go out in famous. One of the dudes from work was telling my friend "ggrass was at work in this top... Insert spluttering and eye popping! " so my friends quote went! Yes, it's a bit low cut.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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So ok, s16 comes home with a story yesterday.

That h has accepted a mare to service with his stallion (still in studs name and mine) . Problem is stallion has issues with both fertility and DNA. Fertility issue is causing defects on the sperm thus defects in foals. I do know horses fertility as of feb 12 was so low vets were surprised he had foals at all. He has sired some last year, but as his cough splutter jewels have shrunken to the point he looks like a gelding, there will be almost a zero chance of a foal.

So I have no faith h will not lie about stallions issue and collect the fee, so I phoned mare owner who I know, to ask. To be given the same lecture I have been given by all those that hear h side. Leaving me as the bad party.

I have a bad taste in my mouth, I will not lie or let h lie using my stud name. Althought he hasn't, which is ok. I felt the need to check, but I can't help feeling that I was baited to a degree.


So after work as per normal, I get into my hot going out gear whistle just to give me a real boost. S16 didn't attended school again, his reason i wasn't bothered to go!
Sigh at least me spotty dogs love me and the lamb!
That's a joke Joyce!

Friday tomorrow and I'm back to weekends off! Nice grin
Oh and one of my gay bf left me some pma quotes as he hasn't seen me on nights for a bit, he's soooooo lovely.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Ggrass Offline OP
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Oh dear, really really angry yesterday, pms irrational for no reason just a bad mood.
Started to get the whole pitty party happening.
Felt really over whelmed. Questioning why is that every one else's needs and feelings always need to be considered first and as more important. Just mostly bitchy bitchy panties feeling.

Ended up at a mates place for coffee, and we both needed to offload and vent work crap.
Came home with her to feed lamb and get wine to have dinner at hers. Stayed out til stupid o'clock and feed lamb at one am when I got home. Had a really nice salmon dinner. Not sure her hubby is very happy with his estrogen filled house last night but he was good about it.


s16 has pad bolted his bedroom to lock it. After he has broken the lock which I have repeatedly asked him not to use. Locked in his room my cordless phone and most of my kitchen crockery. So todays job was out with screw driver and locks are removed. If he re installs I will be removing the door. He has been warned about doing as asked and respecting my wishes in my house. I think that solution is fair, I have talked enough time for the action. If anyone has thoughts?

I've been thinking about his refusal to attend school but as I'm at work when he is supposed to leave I cannot I force that. The only solution I can think of is if he continues to "miss the bus" or "sleep in" he will have to board with his dad Monday thru Friday or at the least Tuesday to Friday.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Ggrass Offline OP
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Ok, so as mentioned in Claire's thread and a couple of others I kicked my self in the a$$ and went and filled the wheelie bin. It's recycling this week too.

Seems you can save $ real easy if you do have a massive sort out, I found in the book shelf a couple of books I was sure I owned and could not damn well find.
Don't give up Paul Hannah
The dance of anger (one I had no idea I owned but do now recall reading it when my h1 was really angry)
And the kicker from h1, boundaries in marriage, complete with underlines and all!

Oh dear oh dear! On the upside I don't have to buy anything to read.

Just glancing threw the boundaries book, might start the anger one.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
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Boundaries. That's something I really don't know anything about.

I enjoy reading your thread gg. Just thought I'd let you know.

And now for a joke.

How did the hipster burn himself with his dinner?

He ate it before it was cool.

(Not so) Old Dog xx


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
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Hands old dog a home Made snag roll.
Lines them up for the other visitors.

Is ok I gal with some exercise today!
Well I jumped to a conclusion, very easily done. H cousin is getting my son to work for him this week on his farm. When he rings to organise the pick up he said "h first name" will pick up s16. Well as you guys know I'm not comfortable with h having contact due to the assult and h crazed behaviour. So I said instantly I'm sorry I'm just not comfortable with that!

HCousin then realised what he had said and stated he meant his manager same first name! blush oh dear me. Innocent mistake, but I guess i should have clarified.

There are a bunch of book about boundaries on different subjects. Marriage kids etc.

Now I'm going back to the program of 15-20 per day pma reading. Personal growth reading. All the stuff I was reading before h and in the beginning. He kept dising me on the books and gradually I just let it go.
Dale carnage etc dozens of titles. Need to just get in the habit.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Ggrass Offline OP
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So so it seems the trend of the talking teen bucking the trend of the moody teenager who locks them self away is still happening.

Last night I hardly got any sleep, but I'm going to have work on that one in the future, as s16 wanted to talk. Strange thing is it was after I sat him down and read him the riot act ( well my version) of what I expect around here. Some boundaries in a nice way, calm and with all of things I've been working on. He was told no and a temper tantie ensued. Then after a while he got control and we sat down and really talked thus the boundaries.

Later he then came out with major pester power to make me change my mind, which didn't happen, but he wanted to connect and talk just in general later which is a 180 for him.

Today he got his food, for camping trip with his mates, but no mention of the alcohol he was pestering for. Which I said no to. Things I noticed was he pestered less, and when the issue was finished yesterday he didn't try to re open it. Also something he would have continued on.

Both things are a change, guessing I'm finally doing something right. I'm finding it easier and he's responding better.

Oh and the big spotted dog stole the egg plant I bought to put on my pizza. Guess his love handles were hungry. grin yes he ate the lot!

Got to focus this weekend, need to really get on horsey chores, need to continue the de clutter, do some bills, continue the yard clean up, get studying for truck licence and building my yards.

The sawn off ponies (aka as minis) need the starvation yard again, they have not been on the divorce diet and are fatter than ever so they need to be cornered as well. They do know however when they might be going on a diet and so run as soon as they see me of late. wink

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?




A piece of a$$ that brings a tear to your eye!


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 216
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Great job with the kid. I've been having discussions with my older S who still lives with me. They continue to test the boundaries, they never seem to give up.

Quote:
A piece of a$$ that brings a tear to your eye!


Haha! Good one!

If my dog ate an entire eggplant, the house would reek for days! His butt would become a battlezone!


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Well this morning the biggest spot was eyeing off the ' nanas on the fruit bowl. That's just what you need to go with egg plant 'nanas! The lambs been dubbed sheldon as he was quiet special when he was less than a week sucking with his tounge out the side of his mouth. grin

It's just the teen child, he's difficult at times. This week I also had a long conversation with xh1 turns out s16 has been telling him the reason why he never has any money to spend is because mum takes his $. Um not true, I expect if s16 wants to choose expensive stuff he needs to pay.

Eg, if s16 wants a phone I will buy cheap supermarket model. If s16 wants iPhone and is prepared to pay that's ok, I will buy it, but I expect to be repayed. Um nope hasn't happened yet, the repayment. Hence the limit has been set, money up front.

Which was what the long conversation was about, I set limits. No more I will pay and you pay me back, then the cycle continues with s16 promising to pay and not doing so.

He also thinks its his right to tell me in a partner sense how to and what to with my life. It's gunna change. I need to just gently gently push things that way.
Now I have been reminded of how.

And nitty the joke just appealed, to my warped side.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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