I texted xh tonight to let him know that I'd paid a lot of $ for d13's Frozen costume for the Homecoming Parade. She is trying to talk him into buying her a superhero costume for Halloween. After I purchased the "parade" costume, she said she'd use it for Halloween, since it was rather pricy.
I let him know, I said:
me: I'm sure d13 is trying to talk you into a costume. I bought her a $75 Frozen costume for the parade. It's up to you, but she can wear that as far as I'm concerned.
xh: ok. Thanks
I don't like my kids trying to "work it". We wouldn't allow that if we were together. He has always been the "push-over" as far as purchases are concerned. I don't want to raise my kids like that. If he wants to contribute, I'd rather it was towards the contacts and glasses both of the kids currently need. We will see!
HA! I think I get a daily reminder of what an idiot I am.
This morning I was running late (as usual). I jumped into my friends car (we are carpooling), and was trying to get myself together. I hadn't even had any coffee yet. My brain does not function with out it. Really. It doesn't.
So it was 7am, and since I was running late... so were my kids. I'm the rooster of the house. (If you can imagine a decrepit, tired, sad, old rooster. One who has begrudgingly woken up daily, much earlier than ever wanted. Yeah, I'm that kind of rooster in the morning- an unreliable one. Like "Herbie doesn't like to make toys!" This rooster doesn't like to call!)
I hopped in my friends car and said, I've got to make sure s17 is up, since he was still upstairs when I left.
I call:
me: You up?
s17: Yeah
me: Are you going to take my car today?
s17: What?
me: Are you going to take my car today?
s17: Mighty! (words start coming out, but I don't hear them... I panic and look at my phone.)
me: Je... Cr...! (which I never say, but I was flabbergasted!)
CLICK!
AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WASN'T S17!!! Can you guess? Yup. DARTH! (as Shining previously referred to him- Darth Vader- I love that) It was XH!
I totally hung up. I didn't know what to say and panicked. Oops. My bad. So much for him not hearing my voice.
Me: 54 H: 58 Married: 29 years Together 33 years H admitted to A: 5/29/14 H moved out :6/15/14 OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H D23 D18
Oh, Mighty, I can totally imagine the look on your X’s face when you show up to your kids’ games with a super hot guy. I would want to be that fly on the wall. Oh, wait, on the stadium stand…
I’m with kml, I can’t wait for that DNA test.
You are amazing! You are managing to pull through all of this. I cannot even imagine to be in your sitch.
Your last phone call… So funny… I’m curious if your x is going to wonder who was suppose to take your car, LOL.
Waiting for the updates
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Or he may be thinking I actually was calling s17, but wondering where the heck I was. Why I didn't need a car? And why wouldn't I know if s17 wasn't up? Wasn't I home to get them up?
I don't think he knows I carpool now, and I leave earlier than I used to. He must have been so confused. (Or didn't think twice.)
I think it's funny. Let him wonder. But no, I wouldn't clarify if asked. Just "Oops! My bad. Wrong number. Sorry!"
I had a pretty good day. I feel like I am starting to come out of the funk I was in for a little while. I'm not sure what sent me back, exactly. I guess dealing with the reality of my sitch. I don't know how many time I will go back into that funk, but I can't wait until it stops. Yesterday was pretty good, today was better.
I have to admit. The past few weeks have been a little tough. I know my friend's passing triggered something too. It was difficult to come out of. It's like I get these depressive symptoms or something.
And what stresses me is grocery shopping. I am so afraid of running into them. I go so long sometimes before I make it there... we have to get creative with dinners. My poor kids. It's bad. The guilt I feel. There are some areas that I really have to work on. Things would be so much better if they were far away... or at least further.
(Self, stop digressing... back to the good!) <<<<< That is what I really have to do. Talk to myself all the time!
I can feel myself on the come-back and looking forward to things. I feel really good being independent. I like finding myself without input from anyone. At all. I do have people I can trust and confide in, but I don't like people pressuring me as to what I should do/feel/act... that kind of stuff. I talked to my mom about this. She is wonderful, but I do tell her to stop when I feel pressure from her. Today, for example, she was talking to me and said something. I just sighed. She said, "Do you want me to leave?" I said, "NO. I just don't want you to tell me what I should do." She respects that and drops it. I have been clear about it. And she has been through a lot herself, so she gets it.
XH called d13 today. I could hear his voice. That gets to me. It still makes me spin a little. I wish it didn't bother me. I don't want him in my head anymore.
Forget it. I just can't anymore. I deleted my post. I had a question for the vets. I am just so tired of my focus on him. On her. Over it.
It was really about how I'm good, but how to get past these things that linger. But as I type them out, I realize I just continue to give it more thought and energy. Poo poo to that.
I need more excitement in my life. That's what I'm looking for.
I'm not the vet you're looking for....lol......there's that whole "vet" part missing. Minor detail.
BUT!! You're looking for excitement? Come see meeeeeeee!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not exciting....
BUT- we could certainly look for it together??
Ok, Might, I'm proud of you. That post above? Look at you. Rising above like the exquisite lady of grace that you are....
I get the curiosity. It's natural. You can't NOT have it sometimes.... And I see you're doing an awesome job noticing and getting the hekk outa that.
I mean....who ARE you??
Hey.....good question.....who are you? Did you do that stuff with the questions and lists and such? Or is that taking a break for now? I have no opinion on what is best (refer to top of post where it says "vet" part missing)....
bet it would tick her off.