Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2362964 07/01/13 03:13 AM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
J
JustD Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
I want to tell anyone who has doubts about the DB techniques, phone coaching, or DR books to have hope. I was very close to having a WAW. My first response was DITHL, desperate begging and pleading and trying to point out all the good in our marriage, and of course, this was all in vain. The techniques taught here at first seem a bit counter-intuitive, but they WORKED for me. She was VERY adamant that it was over and saw no way at all that it could work and didnt want it to. She had met someone else who made her happy like I didn't anymore. I searched and searched the internet for help, and thank god I found this site. I had my first phone coaching with Amanda 3 days after wifes return. I followed her advise, along with the Remedy book and this site, doing 180's and Acting As If, and trying very hard to be the 4C's, and after about 2 weeks, finally tonight W is sleeping in our bed, she is calling me honey and sweety again, and she again says she loves me! And whats most important I think is that all the changes I made in myself feel right and good and I am enjoying this new life more than I could imagine. And because of that I know that I can keep being who I am now, and she will see the changes are real. I know this incredibly fast change in her attitude is not the typical result, and I am very surprised. I expected very little progress and that it would be months before we could get to where we are now. I know this sounds like a sales pitch but its the gods honest truth, so everyone out there take heart, if it can happen to me it can happen to you.

J

M 7y
T 8y
S 4

JustD #2363403 07/02/13 05:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 477
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 477
Thank you so much for writing! I am so glad that Amanda has helped you get your marriage back on track. It is amazing how your coach can provide insight and clarity and direction to turn things around. Keep up the good work and I wish you continued happy DBing!


Karen, Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004
karen@divorcebusting.com

Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
KarenR #2363428 07/02/13 06:06 PM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
J
JustD Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
Thank you Karen. It is still a long way to go and there are good days and bad days, but I was able to stop the full-speed out-of-control spiral that was heading quickly to D. I have taken big steps to change myself (all of which I am very happy with) and W is also making an effort. In the mean time I am working on my 4C's and staying positive.

Thanks
J

JustD #2436480 03/07/14 07:52 PM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
J
JustD Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3
Well........

Here I am again. Same boat, but it seems to be sinking faster now than the last time if that's possible (she already had a consultation with a lawyer). And it looks like again I have only myself to blame, because I did not keep up with what I learned. Wife seemed to be happy so I let myself get comfortable when I knew I shouldn't. My God it seems like an impossible hill to climb and I don't know if I can do it. I have been working very hard to follow the 4 C's around her, and Act as If, started working on new 180's. But when I am alone I feel so desperate. I ask myself why I love this woman who would do this to me? So many things go through my head. But I will not give up. Why doesn't she have faith in the future for us like I do? Why on earth would she want to take our child away from his father? (and I mean AWAY!!! Far far farrrrrrrrr awy to another country!!)

These are just rhetorical questions. I am not looking for responses to them.

Just looking for a little affirmation that I am doing the right thing to try and save this when she wants nothing to do with me.
Also just venting my pent up frustrations...

Regards.

JustD #2438936 03/18/14 02:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
You are doing what's right if that's what you choice, your choice is hard and you are being quite noble. But do it for yourself, not off her, hang in there. smile

unbidden #2499617 10/22/14 06:44 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 78
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 78
Hang in there JustD!!!


W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21
Kids S-15 D-13 S-11
OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14
Talk of Seperation 7/5/14
Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15
W moved out 2/1/15
I am moving on

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard