sometimes, the black holes inside ya

[Young at Heart]

...I joked about a bit, fixed the printer she asked me to and then went out for drinks with a friend.

...For the most part I'm feeling better more often and that is making acting like a more confident person easier.

...Got to have a serious conversation with my dad as a result but i think that is going to be good for me and my relationship with him.

All really good stuff! Way to go. Now don't forget to read or re-read MWD's books.

[jim0987]

Thanks young at heart. And thank you for sticking with me as I figure this stuff out. Your advice is much appreciated.

[jim0987]

Oh yes and DR finally arrived today (ordered on 29th sep) so I've just read the first 50 or so pages. Will finish it this week.

[Old Dog]

Hey Jim, it sounds like you're doing really good work.

My DB coach told me to watch out as your wife may try pushing your buttons after you've done some good DB work.

You have to be aware and not react.

[jim0987]

Feel like ive mentally undone a lot of progress this morning. W went out for drinks with friends (inc OM) and she got back really late. She is not very subtle when she is drunk and so would have spent the evening all over him.

I shouldn't let it bother me but it does. Anyway its added to my sense of hopelessness about my M (not about me though which is still progress).

Anyways I found myself wondering whether thus is WAW, MLC or just a sensible decision on her part.

My F&F think I should be done and move on because she cheated on me, is clearly depressed and that I've had to put up with too much. Her F&F think I've emotionally abused her for the whole of our relationship and that Mr perfect is out there for her.

I suppose I think we both bought baggage to our R which was fine until outside stresses strained the R then we just didn't have the skills and communication to deal effectively.

I'm learning those skills and trying deal with my baggage so at least that will be good. To be honest from all the reading ive done I'm really starting to believe that if the first two years are good then the rest is about skills, effort and choice.

[jim0987]

OK so all stressed by it all but I read my morning reminder and am back in control of my wallowing.

And all positive interaction so far.... Not sure when it becomes too positive.

[jim0987]

Certainly beats hostile though

[LoveMyW]

Certainly beats hostile though

*thumbs up*

[jim0987]

So it seems like she is cranking up the pursuit of OM. Is it wrong that I want to call her out on this? Point out all the times she told me some other stuff about why she was upset and that she basically lied to me for ages. Tell her that whatever she tells herself this is all about pursuing an affair.

Quite angry.

She got home from work crying her eyes out. I offered support or to help but she told me to leave her alone so I went back to playing with the kids.

My head is all over the shop right now and I wish there was something I could do more directly. I can improve myself but otherwise I feel pretty helpless as my family is ripped apart because she has a crush on a guy at work.

[jim0987]

Ive been feeling positive but this is straight back to crappy.