I mean.... My job? GREAT first day! Love, love, love these people already. My boss is a GREAT guy. Several people in the office told me I will love working for him. I know it's early, but there were several things throughout the day that confirmed this is an amazing fit. I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!
A few times today, I caught myself feeling overwhelmed, self conscious, intimidated.... And started coaching my way into a better mindset. I reminded myself, hey, I know this stuff. That no one here is out to get me. I will need to be aware of this more, since I slipped backwards a year ago at my last job, and by the end, I felt very small.
So, some business to take care of. Details:
New job doesn't know anything about my sitch (of course).
Looking at the benefit package....currently, H carries our medical, dental, and vision. In the event we D, I'm looking at $450/month to cover my kids. Another option, is that xh (kids' father) could take them onto his, and that would be factored in and taken out of child support from him.
At first, I was considering enrolling us at my work, to have that "reminder" off of H mind and give him less of "us" to be tied to. But....I don't make much $$ anymore, and to pay medical insurance for my kids and myself? I would have to get rid of my car, and some other stuff would change. We are not starving, but we don't exactly have disposable income, either. That chunk would have a big impact.
If I had to, I'd make it work, but I don't think I should have to sacrifice even more...$450 per month, VOLUNTARILY, just so H feels better? That sounds insane. If he D me, then so be it. I'll worry about it then. I can't stop him anyway.
So, wack me if you must, but I reached out to H today by email. Part of it was due to the benefits thing, and my curiosity of whether he would respond with demands and more mention of D.
The other part.... Hmm. I just wanted to hear from him, see if he would even respond, test the waters and see if we are on non-speaking terms, idk.
I can tell you THIS, I was completely ready for whatever he threw at me. Zero fear, zero expectations. Also, zero questions.
I emailed: No response needed. I did hear you when you said you needed space. I don't want to fight with you. It's hard not knowing how you are.
H response: I am doing good. When do you start your new job?
Me: I'm here now. My first day is today. :-)
So, there ya go. No mention of D. He replied. No demands made. It wasn't friendly, but it wasn't ugly.
That's where it's at, today.....
Tomorrow? Who knows. I'm seeing that I really can only take each day as it comes, and each day, no matter what H says....each day really stands on it's own.
I can't WAIT for work tomorrow!!
I'm so grateful that things have started to fall into place.
I was in insurance for 20 years before H convinced me to sell my agency and move across the country (oh, wait... that move never happened) so I know what a pain in the rear it is to deal with and how expensive it is. I would agree with you, though, wait until you have to deal with it, if you do. Most company plans will allow enrollment even after their open enrollment periods if there is a "change in status" and a D will qualify you for that.
You handled the contact so well. I know how you feel, even though I am pretty close to NC with H these days (unless he wants to initiate or talk to the kids, which is about every 10-15 days) but I wonder and think of him and how he's doing all the time. I'm glad he didn't spew ugliness or talk of D on your awesome first day at work.
Me- 40 H- 41 S8, D5, S4 M 19 y T 23 Bomb drop 6/2013 H asked for/filed for D 9/2014 22 yo OW discovered 9/19/14 they're engaged and living together
Also, Shining, look into whether you would qualify for any subsidy under Obamacare; my friend who is a single mom saw her insurance payments drop from almost $800 a month to about $350 with the subsidy.
I'm glad the new job is working out and your first day was a good one. I'm very proud of you. Keep up the good work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Tomorrow? Who knows. I'm seeing that I really can only take each day as it comes, and each day, no matter what H says....each day really stands on it's own.
BINGO!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
GREAT second day, too!! I'm still figuring things out, and learning a ton of new stuff... Man, did I miss being busy like this!!
Text from h today asking if I remember the name of the dermatologist near us. Followed by an email asking how do I like my job....
Interesting how the distancing thing works.
Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. It means nothing to me today. I haven't thought much about it in a month or so.
I would guess H remembers the date tomorrow. It was our old garage and gate code, and he reminded me of that when we closed on the house. Whether he does remember, it's really no matter. Nothing changes.
Who knows...maybe I'll be sad tomorrow. I've never done this before.
Being around happy people at work who appreciate me is much more fun than wondering what H is thinking. THAT'S for sure.
Oh boy, Shining. I have been thinking about mine, too. It is coming up soon, along with xh's bday. Funny how things change, huh? I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Good luck with day 3! Yippee!
