Need help 3

[lostluv]

It wasn't intentional, but in hindsight I guess I should have ripped it up or just left it in my drawer.

I'm so disgusted with myself. I am the only thing I can control and it seems I'm failing at that. My roller coaster is running wild today. It is such a struggle ...hurts so badly all over. I think I may need to get a dr appointment and get some meds. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think I can do this on my own. I take kava root herb and it definitely helps a little with anxiety ...but I think I'm to the point that I need more help.

I did see our counselor on my own once, maybe I should see her more often on my own?

I did talk to the wife this morning about the pumpkin carving and she said Sunday is fine but she said it's not a big deal because we still have over a week. She seems so calm all the time. It seems so much "easier" for her....


Just breathe and relax....I keep telling myself that

[Little]

She seems so calm all the time. It seems so much "easier" for her....

I experience this, too. Before DB, I asked my WAS once how he keeps the front like he's fine and he said he distracts himself with other things. I said it makes it look like our R was easy to toss aside and he claimed it's not.

I know it's easy for us to assume they're just fine, but who knows what the truth is. We're sort of mind reading, I guess.

[LoveMyW]

Lost, I see where you are coming from about W's seeming calmer..

As some of the vets on here have mentioned to me in my thread, it is mind reading to think that it is easier for them.. I know with my W I thought the same thing, but when I REALLY started to look beyond the surface and REALLY listened, I realised that although she seems so happy about S (no EA/PA proven in my sitch) that's all that it is.. SEEMS.. Lately I notice my W has been cracking with her exterior, and there were a couple of things mentioned by her that has made me see this..

Nothing ground breaking, or even journal worthy but just small comments and other things I have picked up on..

Remember, don't believe any of what you hear, and only half what you see..

[LoveMyW]

Beat me to it little!!..

[lostluv]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the input. Inside I guess I know that but I'm such a mess and brewing inside. I am really trying to keep busy and focus on me and other things. But it's not working haha

Watching "arrow" on netflix ....hope that keeps me busy for a few days....

[LoveMyW]

Just keep up with GAL and 180's.. It DOES get better over time.. We have all been there, and some of us are still there.. Me personally, I have finally got to the stage where the good days well outnumber the bad.. I'm 3 months in to S now, and I can't really tell you when it got better, but funny enough, I came to the realisation today.. The roller coaster is still going, but it has slowed RIGHT down..

I gave up on Arrow after the first season.. Got bored of it I suppose!!.. Mind you, I did the same with under the dome too!!..

My new favourite is Z Nation.. So B grade and cheesy, but so good as well!!..

[Little]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the input. Inside I guess I know that but I'm such a mess and brewing inside. I am really trying to keep busy and focus on me and other things. But it's not working haha

Watching "arrow" on netflix ....hope that keeps me busy for a few days....

I'm emotional and have a very difficult time hiding what I feel, so I understand you there. Very much.

A friend of mine used to say that "still waters run deep". I remind myself of that when I think WAH seems to be just dandy. He's probably working through things, too.

[Card29]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the input. Inside I guess I know that but I'm such a mess and brewing inside. I am really trying to keep busy and focus on me and other things. But it's not working haha

Watching "arrow" on netflix ....hope that keeps me busy for a few days....

If you are struggling for GAL ideas, here are the general traits for my most successful GAL's:

- Out of my comfort zone, not a typical hobby
- Out of the house or anywhere else you associate with WAS
- With other people, especially meeting new people or at least people who are unaware of sitch. They won't remind you of anything, ask questions, offer pity, etc. You can just be yourself.

My two best GALs so far fit all three of those traits (group salsa dance lessons & coed kickball league). I've also always loved running, but I've always done it on roads. I wasn't enjoying road running after BD, but I started running trails, and that did that trick. I love it now and am always looking forward to the next run. So maybe you could take an existing hobby and add a twist to it for novelty.

[lostluv]

Didn't sleep much today. feeling really bad today. I just really want to ask my wife tobtalk....just really talk to me . Not relationship stuff.....just tell me about her day in detail. Almost crying

[lostluv]

Ordered take out for dinner....Some small talk and seemed minimal tension.

Fortune cookie: nothing is permanent except change.


Hmmmm