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Joined: Oct 2013
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At this point I urge you to speak to a Divorce Busting Coach. You really need the expert advice of someone who understands what you are going through and can really help guide you when approaching your wife. All the theories in the books and online suggestions will not give you the confidence you need when taking actions that immediately affect your situation. Please call me to discuss our Divorce Busting Program. 303-444-7004.


Roberta, Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004
Roberta@divorcebusting.com
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mandown Offline OP
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Ok, sorry for the long break. I needed time to compose myself in light of recent events.

yes I have read DR, and I am almost done with 5LL.

No i have not been this needy, this is what i have turned into. I know I need to get a grip on myself. To be honest, I have been forced to do so now.

Last week, I went to like a picture of hers on instagram, weird name pop up on there, so I clicked it. It was the OM she and and A with. We were in bed so i just had to leave the house and get some air. When i came back in , she asked whats wrong so i old her. She said well thats what i get for being nosy and her profile isn't private so she cant control who follows her.

A few days later, I was fine. I got over it and didn't let it bother me anymore. So on wed we closed on our house. She was in a great mood. We went back to the apt and chatted for a while, then she wantd to goto the mall. I stayed home so I could pick up my S7 from school.

While me and my S7 were at the grocery store, i sent her a snapchat. If you are familiat with Snapchat, then you know people can post snaps publicy and privately. She had a public snap or her and him taking selfie together IN OUR CAR, and it looks like he was in the driver seat!!!!!!

OMG I was enraged, sad, hurt....all of the above!!!

She was still talking to him! After I confronted her about it, she maintains that he is just a friend. I as like WTF really? I'm not stupid. I told her that the me and the kids are movong into the house and she cannot come. I contacted the OM'' gf and told her evrything. I took her car keys ad left her the old truck. I told her that they did not want to live with her, they told me they didnt. She was furious. My S11 tolder he did not want to. She is creating distance from them becaue she is always gone, doing who knows what and my kids sense the negative energy she puts off.

A few days later, eveything was ok in a sense that we knew what was about to happen. Fri night, the guy calls me. Apologizes to me for what happened, that they are just fiends and nothnig is going on and it happened one time when they were drunk, they just like talking to eachother, they are just friends. I told him that this isn some GF, it's my WIFE, and that he needs to cut that [censored] off!

As far as i can tell the did, I do not see anymore texts between eachother or nothing. But for all I know she will still find a way.

I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure how much more i can handle.

But I get weak and let her woo me back in, without her ecen trying. I just think of not being with her and I give in. I told her she can live with us, until she can figure out what she wants, she will likely live in a seperate room. I know I'm an idiot for letting that happen, but I'm weak to her.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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i can feel myself getting stronger. I think what may have to happen is for me to remove myself from the house for a bit. I'm just afraid of what it will do to my kids.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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While she is in the house should I just go dark? No text, not calls, only nescesarry convo? Should I leave the house in hopes of giving her the time and space she needs?


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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Well, here I am again, axiety ridden. She went out for her friends birthday last night(she told me about this several weeks ago).

I woke up around 5am to get ready for work and I hadn't heard from her(not that I should expect to). My anxiety took over and I snooped, this has been a problem for me. No contact with OM, but she did withdrawl $600 and paid $282 for a hotel. This is more than her paycheck......

I don't know what to think. I can't ask her about it, she will accuse me of being nosy.

I don't know if I should text her and ask her good morning. Of just wait til i get home and see if she is there. I'm heartsick of all this worrying I've been doing.

I know I need to detach, I have to a point. But I've turned into an emotional mess. As I stated before, I fear the only thing that may move things in any direction is a full on separation. I don't want to leave my kids, she doesn't want to leave them. I'm stuck.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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Posts: 75
bump, I need some advice. Im going crazy here,


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Posts: 1,720
Not sure of what to advise on this other than you've got to try and detach from this. If the money is coming from you then you need to set some boundaries

Go exercise - run or do something. If you burn enough physical energy the anxiety will reduce


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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The money is coming from her account, but this is not like her. Well at least not like what she used to be.

Just killing me that she could just turn into a totally different person seemingly in a matter of a day.

I know there has to be love somewhere in there, otherwise I'd have to belive she would be gone by now.

She does emphasize that if she knew she wanted out, I would know immediatley. I have times where i can completely detach, and the nex day I just wanna be mr. sopy. Total hell.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
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Posts: 1,720
Hang in there - its hard but you'll be OK.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 75
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mandown Offline OP
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jim, Ive tossed the idea around of an in house separation. How is that working our for you? How does it affect your kids? I see that they are not too old so it can be dealt with differently than mine.

Just really unsure on how to proceed. My heart wants to keep pushing affection on her(been doing a better job at limiting that), and my head tells me to LRT. This constant confusion really takes its toll.


ME: 29 / W: 29
M: 10 (11 in March 2015)
BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14
S:12 / S: 7
"We need to separate" : 08/31/14
Wants to see others: 10/11/14
Separation looming
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