Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Hi Ahoy thanks for the kind words , it does make a differance. W home to night to see kids and do some cleaning. She acts like all ok and nothing wrong Weird. She just offered me her new car to get the shopping as if we were all normal. Youngest. D went shopping with me and we had fun time on a side note I was in hospital today for a check up on kidney transplant. Results on bloods were best ever since transplant so really pleased with myself. Sitting here eating large bar of dark chocolate as I type. Doc reckons I've lost to much weight. Doc can't be wrong lol. Chocolate it is. Take care

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Hi all. Last few days being a bit weird. Getting used to life without W. She's here a lot which is good for kids but I bit annoying for me. Lots of tears with her saying she is not happy and people are asking her favours all the time and she can't sleep etc. I just validate and leave her alone as much as is polite. She text me yesterday and asked how I was and I replied all ok. She replied that I was dealing with the separation much better than her and she was ad I was ok. She came to collect my D"s yesterday for the night and tried to convince them to stay with her here instead of taking them to her place. I think iwill be ok without her in the long run but it upsets me to see her unhappy. I hope her choices turn out to be good for her eventually. Tonight is burgers and chips and movie nite with kids so looking forward to that. Rant over. Take care all

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 708
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 708
rd, glad to hear your checkup went well! It's nice to have a spot of good news in the midst of everything else. And chocolate is always good. I need to put back on some weight as well, but it's really hard when you don't have an appetite.

Your posts demonstrate amazing strength of character. You will be okay without her in the long run, if that's what's to be. It is hard to see people we love unhappy, but there is little we can do for them, beyond what you are already doing.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Thanks Ahoy. I just read your post and it's hard to believe your H can be like that with his D. My D"s are everything at the moment along with my S"s I know know I have a life as well but at this time they have to be first. It's your H"s D and this is a terrible time for her She is very lucky to have you and I'm sure she will look back at this period in her life with nothing but love for how you dealt with it. Your strength is obvious for us on here to see so that must be fantastic for her to have daily. Keep strong and thanks for posting

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Hi all. Good nite with kids. But S15 got a bit upset and tells me he hates his mom. I tired to talk to him and finally calmed him done but I feel the sitch between wide and I can't go on as it's causing kids to much pain. I know a lot of our stichs on here a similar and I think the DBing is actually working in mine. Lots of texts from W , lots of tears , lots of talk of a how she is sad on her own etc but as each day passes I get stronger and although I love my W I am now thinking I am not in love with her Her selfish acts and attitude are not the acts of a decent person or a caring mum. My children don't deserve this upset in their lives and while I am at least 50 % to blame I certainly never did anything bad enough to make their mum leave The longer the W stays away the sadder she gets , half of me is glad but the other hf wants her to be happy with her new life sorry for ranting

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Hi all. Looking for a bit of advice my W just turned up to visit kids after saying she wouldn't be here today. Detachment going well but her being here every day is hard. Question is should I lmit her access or pin her down to certain days. I realise I should not stop her seeing the kids but this open door policy is tough
Any thoughts people ?

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Personally I wouldn't want to limit my kids access to their mother but at the same time you need to set and enforce boundaries and I would say just turning up isn't on - its disrespecting you. She should have to call and ask first as a minimum.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Hi jim Thanks for the prompt response Your right , the kids need their mum problem is W thinks I haved moved on due to my DBi g She is texting me and saying that I am handling the separation much better than her and how lonely she is etc. if I ask her to call ahead it like I am showing her i am still affected by her ?

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,720
Personally I don't think so. Obviously it depends how you phrase it but if it was more about her needing to respect your time with the kids then I would think that's fine.

To an extent if she doesn't want the marriage then she has to accept the consequences of not having free access to the kids (definitely don't phrase it like that)


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
R
rd500 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,227
Thanks again Jim. I I'll think of a way of putting it that will be not confrontational Thanks again

Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard