Just one other thing - I agree about silence - and I sometimes felt I had been 'too silent' But they are trying to get our attention too. Responding calmly as you did is good - he knows he didn't get a reaction from you, but a response, in your own time.
You handled that response just perfectly! let him know that him blowing up their phone might have been a problem without making it seem like you were directly involved in that conversation. Confirming that you are not badmouthing him at home (which leaves him to have to deal with the fact that this is between him and his kids).
Wow, Mighty! I just caught up. Way to go handling his emails.
He didn't bait you a bit.
I went through something similar with D20. When she was still in high school, Smokey would blow at her about her grades and she would react with a plethora of obscenities. He would, then, talk to her about her "mouth" and her disrespect and so forth. He would, of course, never touch on how his behavior had played a part in all this.
In hindsight, all I could do was be there for my daughter. She has some things to work on...but, she is sorting it out.
I like how you shielded your son, to the extent you were able...I remember being in that position of interacting with Smokey and realizing that...when he interacted with me, he was more likely to leave the kids alone. Seems like he always had to pick on someone, I'd rather he pick on me.
You're doing great. :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
He is such an @ss, but seriously, I'm not even going to let it get to me.
I talked to s17 tonight and he told me his frustrations with his dad, and that he saw my paperwork for surgery and figured out what was going on. So I was honest with him (teachable moment for a 17 year-old-boy).
I thought I would let xh know what he was up against with s17h. (since he is still emailing me and I want him to go away)
I texted him.
me: I talked to s17 & he opened up. He was frustrated bc you were sending him texts over and over and it was really intense and got to him. He said he blocked you bc he needed some time.
since then he found my paperwork for surgery and info. he figured out what was going on and was really upset.
xh: oh. What paperwork?
me: For my surgery, appointment, info about it and stuff. Didn't you get my email?
PAUSE, PAUSE, PAUSE (Hello??? Did you forget me??)
xh: So you told him I gave you something? I'm confused why u say I gave u something Mighty. I'm clean...
me: Thanks for the concern.
PAUSE, PAUSE, PAUSE...
xh: FYI- I just saw that email yesterday and that is why I ask you why s17 said what he did. I don't check that account much.
(When I emailed him about the money he owed, I got a vicious response quickly.... not over a month later!)
I told this bro that I have pre-cancerous cells. And there is no doubt that it is from him. He has not asked one question as to what it entails or how I am, or ANYTHING! Up to this point, it has been totally ignored. What a jerk! "I'm clean" ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?????????????????????????????????
Unbelievable. They are too perfect.... must be me, not them...
What are you doing to take care of you tonight? The surgery, issues with S17, emails from H...it's a lot. How can you make things easier for you-just for tonight? Put you first.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
M, dont try to understand crazy...that just gives you a headache.
Im sorry he's crazy. Sorry you have to have surgery. Sorry your son has to know this about his father.
It isnt right. At all.
I wouldnt keep going on about son's feelings. Not really your responsibility. You explained. If it isnt good enough for him, lLet him call his son and discuss it. If your son doesnt want to....not your problem.
First, you have been handling things perfectly. You are amazing. You don't even know.
Your x a$$hat and my a$$hat should get together and talk about how nothing is their fault ever, and that they should have zero consequences for what-errr-the-he!!-they-wanna do. Couple of nine year olds. Tthhpppllllttt.
Crazy how xh doesn't acknowledge he is the one who caused this. Every bit of it. Only he did. Yet, he "can't believe you told S17"... Because he should not have to have a consequence of bad choices???
I'm proud of you. I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!! I'll be thinking of you!!!!
