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Mighty Offline OP
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Hi Heather! I'm OK. S17 is doing OK. He went to see his gf for awhile. She broke her leg in her soccer game.

I really am ok with this communication. Here he is----- not being accountable. SHOCKER! I'm telling you... I can't believe how unphased I have been all week. I think after showing off my Dale Earnhardt driving skills on the highway, I realized I need to get a grip.

It was over 20 min when he sent, "I can't believe you told him that..." Must be pestering him???

Well, I would write a list of "I can't believe..." that would be longer than the Mississippi River!

But I don't have that much time to waste on his lame self.

It aggravates me when I think about the "I can't believe" because there was not, no I didn't do that, I wasn't with her then...

I just want to say, well 'I can't believe' you had unprotected sex with a (*&*&^&^%^%$#%#@#@^& and then me, YOUR WIFE!

That would be the opening to my list.....

Eh, he's got a lot to think about tonight.

Me, well, I had someone come and look at my kitchen tonight to come up with a plan! I can't wait to see what it will look like on paper!!! Another step in the right direction!

It will feel so much better once I get my house put back together!

Thanks, Heather! I'm good! S17 home now and doing well. So is d13. Man, I love those kids!

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Mighty Offline OP
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uR- My thoughts exactly.

I gave this small tid-bit of info. What he does is his problem. But, since he is running scared, I'm sure I won't hear from him for awhile. Unless, of course, he wants to blame me some more.

I don't bite that toxic bait. No way. I learned that a long time ago. Now I learned not only not to bite, but not even let it get to me. He is a big DUH!

His problems with my kids are exactly that- his problems. I will be here for them and support them however they need. I did talk with s17 tonight about her kids. I keep trying to explain that it is not their fault, but he is like f-them, f-her, f-my dad. Ouch. Working on that one.

Shining- They could have an @sshat picnic! Wouldn't that be special.

Lois, I could meet you after work on a Wednesday. Lemme check my schedule and we will set a date!

Thanks my peeps!

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kml Offline
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A$$hat Picnic.....great band name!!!

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Mighty - just remember - if they are wrong about ANYTHING (in their mind) they they woul be wrong about everything.

I have a shrewd suspicion that deep down many of them realise they have made a huge mistake but it would destroy them to admit it, and so they project all of this stuff outwards onto us.

The normal rules do not apply to them - unprotected sex with a woman you know is promiscuous is not a good idea. Period. Expecting your kids not to be upset with your leaving without even an acknowledgement of the hurt it is causing is unrealistic, . . and so on.

Two things that you might find interesting - recently my xh told me that I had been pretty much right about everything I had said (I nearly fell off my chair) Being him e followed it up quickly with 'But I was still right to have left you' Hmmmm, not for teh first time recently I wonder if reality is finally starting to set in.

The second is that yesterday I wa catching up with an old friend on the phone and she said had I heard anything recently from xh (his name) I honestly had to stop for a minute and think who she was talking about. (I know a couple of people with the same name). Now that is progress. But it has taken a long long time to get to that point for me. Others may take a faster track!

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Mighty Offline OP
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Things are getting pretty intense. I am trying to stay level headed and grounded. Threats and blame are being projected.

Xh called this morn. I wasn't going to answer, then I thought I have nothing to hide. Dummy me. So he went off about how he thought about it (in his twisted, unaccountable, selfish mind) and how terrible I am. He wanted to bash me for my life before him (which was really nothing, but he is trying to make it really bad).

Then he said that he did get my email (letting him know about Surg & stuff) 6 weeks ago (last nigh he said he saw it "yesterday") and has gotten teasted and is clear. (It is hard to test in men) and has done reaearch and it's not from him- I've had it for over 20 years & he doesn't have it.

I just said I have to go, then him... Blah blah blah, I said, "you know, honestly, I don't give a $hit what you think."

Click.

Then he starts calling- I send vm.

Then texts from xh:
You think u have it all figured out. The only thing u could figure out is your crazy. I will be sending an email to s17 school counselor and anybody that I think of that u or s17 told. You're trying to destroy my relationship and character... I knew u said something to put him against me. I'm sure he said something or u didn't like him being with me. Unbelievable. I will tell all in my email... Can't believe u took it this far.

Then:
S17 said it well - you're angry and seek drama. I can't believe it

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Oh man Mighty, I'm sorry.

Stay focused on the facts. He has fathered a baby with another woman while married to you.

That's the bottom line.

IF THAT AIN'T CRA-CRA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

You only spoke the truth. He is projecting all over the place. He is a scared, messed up guy and can't face the truth.

Step away. Step away. As much as you are able.

How many times has he called? If he pursues, you may want to consider filing a harassment charge. Sounds like he is spinning out of control and the last thing that you and kids need right now is more abuse from him.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Mighty,

I have been on the receiving end of this craziness as well.

That whole spew from xh about how "he is going to email everyone and tell all..."

It's LAUGHABLE!

What is he going to "tell", exactly?

The awful way he has conducted himself? How he has mistreated you and torn apart your family? How he is a liar and a cheater?

Wow. Just.... wow.

Clearly it's important to him to paint you as the bad guy.
Because it's not going to be him. Noooooo way!

"Unbelievable" is RIGHT!

I would just ignore. That will drive him more nuts than anything else.
I wouldn't dignify that nonsense with a response of any kind, and I certainly wouldn't waste one moment of my time defending myself against crazy.

I'd be too busy making some fun plans that DO NOT INCLUDE HIM.

Mighty, you've got it rough, no doubt about it.

But you're "MIGHTY", remember?

And he's a d*ckhead. He will get what he deserves, if he isn't getting it already.

smile

Your Pal,

The Goal Gal


Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?



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Don't engage Mighty. Just don't.

I know you know this...but, I also know how hard it is to resist.

It's classic alcoholic...let me turn the spot lights on you because I'm not capable of facing what I've done.

How can you take of yourself today?


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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This is what you posted to me on Oct. 15...seemed fitting to return the words today, back atcha:

Quote:
I believe that Smokey is probably a very insecure person. Insecure people manipulate and abuse others. Since they don't feel control over themselves or their emotions, they try to control someone else, like a spouse and/or children. In doing this, it gives them power, validates (in some weird way) their worth, and makes them feel that they have someone who cares because they that person is able to be controlled/manipulated.

In Smokey's reaction to you leaving... well, that's exactly what it is. A reaction. Smokey is scared, sad, insecure, lost, but he may not even know he has these feelings. He may be so out of touch to them, that the only thing he knows how to do is react. And how does that come out? In anger, belittling, trying to dominate, trying to knock down others.

Smokey is weak emotionally and mentally. Now, can you imagine what he feels now that the one thing he had to validate his strength and security (his family) up and left his @$$ (sorry, no disrespect)? What does he know to do? React. That's it.

Afraid? Huh, he is the one who is afraid, my friend. He may not know it, but he does at the same time. Here is this woman, who just left him to deal with the rest of the mess he created. You? You took the goods- the important things. Your girls. Your family. You went someplace new. You are doing it. You are taking care of you and your family. You are no longer under his control. That is scary for him. He is scared of you. He will try his antics, but don't ever fear that... because those antics come from a very weak place. Those antics reveal his weakness.

You are the strong one. He fears you. Don't underestimate yourself. You don't need to be nasty. You be you. Keep your concern right where it has been- taking care of you and the girls. He can't do that. And he knows it.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Mighty,

Lois aand GoatGal have given great advice on how to deal with this latest non-sense. I am on the receiving end of the abusive text, emails, phone calls...with much of the exact same verbiage I am afraid. I keep telling myself what my ex says is none of his business and his opinions of my life don't matter when I get a little anxious. But whatever you do, don't respond or defend yourself...these MLC'ers have a way of manipulation and will try to use everything to thier advantage.


BombOctober 2012-
OW 11/28/12 -H still denies
Separated 11/29/12
Own place 12/12/12
Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13
Oct 2013 - I knew I was done
Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
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