So don't think your different or special, I've got it well and truely covered. Rolls eyes. That's a joke Joyce. We do all know how you feel. Well and truely.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks everyone. Happy Halloween from LaGuardia! I'm ready to see my little peeps. Freezer gave out so the X ILs very graciously dealt with that for me. I'm a lucky woman to have them and so are my kids
Had a nice week in NY. Ate well, saw Rock of Ages (I'm such a bada$$ cause I know all of the songs:) and honestly, I continue to be hit on by many cute 22-24 yr old guys. I'm perplexed but my friends and coworkers watch and say "seize this opportunity." I'm not sure what I would do with a 24 yr old but I know what they are encouraging me to do.
I never went to bed last night so I'm a little loopy. I feel like I am the poster child for women going thru a post D struggle with their sexuality. I don't want to offend anyone, although some days I just wonder if I need to get naked with someone. Yes, I just admitted that and posted it here forever. HG? Texting a bit with him. Things got a little scandalous via text (wtf am I doing? Actually I think I know exactly what in doing-sort of) the other night. I think I've quasi scared him away a bit.
Gotta rustle up costumes for 2 peeps. D9 will be easy. S11 is a headless horseman. S4 may or may not agree to wear a costume. Me? I'm going to be a 42 yr old, lustful divorce'. Some days I actually feel like I'm watching someone else. Again, the woman with the SSM marriage is freaking starved for something. I feel like a 16 yr old girl some days. I know I have to work through this. I won't lie-some days I feel on the verge of tears because of this incessant wanting to be wanted (I think??) feeling.
Anyway, hope everyone is well. Holla at my Bulldogs this week as they take on those hated Gators. Wishing everyone a great day:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Eric, I know you are engaged but "I LOVE YOU!!!" Tell your fiancé a hippie chick in the south thinks you are the prize in the piñata:-)
Okay…I told her. She laughed and said…..well she obviously has not heard you snore (I kid you not). I love her!
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You are right. I can accept love. I've just chosen not to.
Umm….who’s fault is that and what are YOU doing NOW to change it?
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Maybe I don't always think I'm loveable? I'm not sure.
IMO, “I’m not sure” is the excuse we give ourselves to avoid having to face the bigger issues. Maybe….you should stop “thinking” your not lovable and you should start “ACCEPTING” that YOU are. Maybe it is that simple. You are after all (by your own admission) a hippie chink in the south….soooo….who does not find a hippie chick in the south not lovable? NO one – that who. 
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Do men bring up "if we were in a R 3 times" on a first date normally?
Honestly…..IMO, no they do not. IMO, bring this up so fast and often as he did would be a red flag. To me, it screams insecurity and codependency. That said, I do not know him and I may be WAY off base.
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Eric, you are so right. I can't relax about anything. Seriously, even looking at the dog makes me think "Mr. Fluffers needs a bath " and it sure as hades doesn't bother him. I feel like a giant freaking ball of anxiety!!!!
GB do you realize that all of this ^^^^ is under YOUR control? Do you realize that YOU have the POWER to change this. It really is quite simple…choose to relax. PERIOD. Do whatever you do to relax you. As for Mr. Fluffers……I just got a puppy….and I have yet to give him a bath. It really is okay.. do it when you are ready. Now…….stop for a second….do you KNOW or REALIZE WHY you are so stressed? Have you considered that maybe…just maybe…GB is a PERFECTIONIST, FEELS the NEED to NOT MAKE A MISTAKE, FEELS the NEED to CONTROL EVERYTHING?
Hmmmm…where does this come from? I think I know. Once again, GB, it is okay to change. It is OKAY to be GB. Time for that little scared girl (not the high powered exec that closes deals) to come out and face the world. Time for that little girl…not be scared anymore.
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I feel like I am the poster child for women going thru a post D struggle with their sexuality. I don't want to offend anyone, although some days I just wonder if I need to get naked with someone. Yes, I just admitted that and posted it here forever.
Why are you so scared? Do you think people are going to judge you? Do you think your friends, your family are going to think you are a slut? Are you worried about your kids finding out? Are you worried about it feeling good and you getting “hooked” on some dude? Do you feel bad because maybe deep down inside you really just want sex?
Determine exactly what you are feeling.
BTW, FTR, at the end of the day if you are happy and comfortable with who YOU are – that is all that matters. From where I sit. You still do not feel confident being YOU. You are still struggling with who you really want to be. You are still being HELD back by YOUR OWN FEAR. GB, consider this…….
How do most people learn?
Trial and Error.
That is how.
You learn from your mistakes and experiences.
It is okay to make a mistake, it really is, just learn from them.
It is okay to explore yourself…emotionally, intellectually, sexually…it really is OKAY. How else are you gonna find what you are looking for…..
Which is…..
YOU.
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Things got a little scandalous via text (wtf am I doing? Actually I think I know exactly what in doing-sort of) the other night. I think I've quasi scared him away a bit.
This may not come across as I would like…I’ll try….
a) If you want a booty call with a nice guy that you get along with….well then keep worrying about what he is thinking and keep doing what you are doing.. b) If you want to find a nice guy that will accept you for YOU (and then you get the booty call)….then stop over thinking everything and stop being or doing things that you may or may not want to do. Be yourself. Period. If he get’s scared because you are being yourself…then is this the type of person you would really want to be around.
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I won't lie-some days I feel on the verge of tears because of this incessant wanting to be wanted (I think??) feeling.
IMO, this will stop….when……Ummm…actually…no you tell me when it will stop. I can wait to hear your response.
Safe travels back home and hope you have a wonderful Halloween with the kiddos.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I do get your delemia about the 20's they keep hitting on me too!
I old enough to be their mum, to me that feels a bit ho hum and creepy. The point is coming when I will grab anything that floats past soonish. I was dreaming raunchy and racy dreams that left me exhausted!
If its making you freak then it's prolly too soon or not right for you in some way. Listen to your inner alarm or concerns. Often we do know what's best for us, we just need to listen.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Relax spend some quite time just thinking about where you are now and what you really are feeling inside. Its hard to stop and just listen to your own thoughts, the answers will come.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Thanks Eric (I'll respond to your post later- you make some excellent points. And I still LOVE you:-), GGrass, and 2 B. You are all correct in that I need to relax in the words of Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I feel okay today. Nice Halloween with my peeps.
2 things. S4 told me I would be much prettier if I never told him no.
Second, I did something I haven't done since xh moved out. I sent him a pic of S4 (the one he has a quasi R with) with a goat. I just felting doing it and has zero expectations. He's missing out and that's his choice, however, for some reason it felt like "the right" thing to do. X Mr GB sent back some kind words about s4 being cute and I didn't respond. On a humorous, note x Mr GB and OW dressed up as horse a$$e$ for Halloween. Interesting and I'm being honest. He didn't ask about kids or ask them about Halloween and well, that's his deal.
On a positive note, I don't feel quite so anxious today. Yay!!!! I also told the children I had to check the candy for safety purposes and took the skittles and almond joys. Safety hazards!!!!
I'll skip the Go Dawgs! Xo to you all:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
