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edz Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: South74
Edz
Remember believe nothing they say and only half of what they do .


Oh yes tell myself that multiple times a day. Just sooo tired of it all now. Probably bottoming out and tired after a trying week, dinner, early night start again, rinse repeat and see what happens next I suppose.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
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Originally Posted By: edz
Originally Posted By: South74
Edz
Remember believe nothing they say and only half of what they do .


Oh yes tell myself that multiple times a day. Just sooo tired of it all now. Probably bottoming out and tired after a trying week, dinner, early night start again, rinse repeat and see what happens next I suppose.


Maybe an ice cream and cuppa might sort out the rinse repeat ?


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: South74

Maybe an ice cream and cuppa might sort out the rinse repeat ?


Well I drink quite a lot of black coffee in a day (along with a lot of water and some pure orange juice) dont think the ice cream is a good idea for the waistline though.

W invited me along to an exhibition this morning along with S, we went to Costa afterward. She's still full steam ahead on looking for somewhere but is realising that its not the rental costs but the cost of living on top thats problematical (unless she really compromises her standards - maybe she will but she said shes staying at her mums for now - things can only get worse though as her wages will drop soon to ssp and I wont give her leeway on the time its taking to get her credit card direct debit changed over forever at which point shes going to be more out of pocket)

She wasn't feeling too well so had to go but I'm picking up S tomorrow taking him swimming with me (wont be 70 tomorrow South, more fun time with him and maybe 20-30 lengths) then taking him up to Southampton to see my Dad and stepmum as they havent seen him since before all this started. Should be emotional.

My househunting continues, having to compromise areas but I've got one eye on rebuilding my life so not too much.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
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Edz
Hope you had a good weekend with your don
South


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Quick update from the last few days.

Sunday took S swimming in the morning and then off to my Dads. Had a nice time and some very interesting conversation - lots of bits that had come up in my various counseling sessions came up and my Dad and I had a good talk between him playing with S and my stepmum having fun with him.

Dropped him off later before heading back to the empty place as usual.

Monday W came round and we got into a discussion on my house hunting. Then we got into a weird place. W started to say how it seemed weird that she and S may be in a small flat and I'd be rattling around by myself in a place. At first I thought this was a preamble to asking for money but no we ended up in a discussion about what the impact on S would be if we all moved together. W then started to talk about how difficult it would be to tell MIL, she seems genuinely scared at that thought.

She also seemed interested in what I'd do if she didnt come back, told her thats not what I want but I'd continue with moving forward, with back and forth she seemed to want to know would I then look for a new relationship, said it was too early but a long way down the road probably. She didnt seem to like that thought. She still isnt interested in the idea of Divorce and is said that even if she moved from MIL to somewhere else she still thinks she may come back.

As is becoming a trend at this point she had to go and of course (1) I don't forget that its not wise to believe whats said and (2) I'm moving forward and really want to be moved before Christmas if at all possible regardless and probably will be moved before anything changes with W but if nothing else it was a brief glimmer of hope even hope without expectations.

So now I'm back in blackout (W denies that she blanks me just that she is busy and I know much better than to argue) trying to proceed hopefully but without expectation.

Still sitting here alone bar a cat and a Breaking Bad box set and feeling a little sad but I'll take what good news I can get and I know how much others on here would love to hear comments as hopeful as these, small steps though, small steps. Thoroughly expect the downside of the rollercoaster next but I'll hold this hope for now.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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One house viewing this week down, was ok but a little cramped in the close it was in, can see it being frustrating first thing in the morning and people parking over the exit to the drive.

Off to see one im very interested in tonight, ground floor flat though which puts me off but it looks very "homey" in the pictures.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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Felt overwhelmingly lonely all day today despite being out and about and busy. Still pushing myself forward and will be seeing this apartment tonight but there's a cold heavy feeling that won't go away today frown

Last edited by edz; 10/15/14 03:29 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
S
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
Originally Posted By: edz
Felt overwhelmingly lonely all day today despite being out and about and busy. Still pushing myself forward and will be seeing this apartment tonight but there's a cold heavy feeling that won't go away today frown


Had that last week . Think it's the roller coaster ride we choose to be on.
This British weather doesn't help either .

My ups are starting to be more than the downs


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
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Posts: 1,942
And as expected had a flip flop from W. Had been updating her on the house hunting following our conversation. Yesterdays viewing was way too small even for me alone with a room for S so was a no go. Sent her an update this morning and we got into a back and forth where she told me to just plan for me and being able to move on with S. Now this could be me misunderstanding her as this is all text message and theres multiple threads (some relating to finances) but I decided I needed to stop there so said it sounded like she had some plans in place or she plain didnt want me to bug her with them (but it could be text messaging) but that I'd leave her alone until I had some more concrete plans in place and will meet up with her to pick up S tomorrow for his card meeting. I'll continue with the PMA etc, dont feel any of it. Suspect MIL has been poisoning the well again which doesnt suprise me she's had two days to work on W and buy her off with promises as to what can happen when the flat sells. Hey ho, well just hunkering down again, know my birthday is going to be flat this year as I'm not arranging anything and dont want anything from anyone and Christmas I will hope to be away from this place and sleep through as much as possible, no point in expecting anything else at this point and I wish I could just opt out of the whole two months.

I didn't let myself become optimistic over the past few days as I knew this would happen but was already low, despite GAL really having issues keeping it all going and right now counselling sessions have run out so having to self-motivate, sick of work and fighting through the days right now but then what's the option?

Sigh, well lets get through today and see what problems tomorrow brings, trying to pick good tunnels to go down, so far no cheese just trains coming the other way frown


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
E
edz Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
Think there's only really south checking on this one but just so no one worries will be laying off the updates on forums and fb etc for a few days. When I don't need to work ill try and be out or at least checking out properties.

Feel almost like I did the first week today didn't know i could bottom out this far again. Need to 2 X 4 myself and start planning a life without w at all but with some space for her if she wants it or someone else if not. This is not how I wanted my life to be and it 5uck5 but I can't control that suppose I'd better just work on what I can.

Thanks all. Speak soon..


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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