How do I evaluate, beyond getting good input from our school counselor who I trust, whether or not the person I've found is really good? Burned twice -- feeling insecure about my ability to find a good person.
Seek out someone who works with children or children and teens. Children aren't little adults. Do they include the family as part of the team? How long have they been in practice? What would the schedule for therapy sessions be? weekly, biweekly? How will you know your child is getting better? (that may seem like a no-brainer but it isn't always) What would the course be if there is no response to therapy? What is their treatment approach? Do they have special certifications? Cost, payment, insurance?
Be alert to how the candidate talks about children and parents in general. Be aware of blaming and labeling (different from diagnosing). Does he/she seem respectful of you, your daughter, your life?
If anything you ask seems to unsettle them, keep looking.
Check your gut. If is doesn't feel right to you, keep looking.
Good luck, there are a lot of excellent people out there, sometimes it takes work to find them.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Would it be better to offer it, or better to insist on it?
You really crack me up. You gotta DB this girl!!!
"I know things have been awfully tough for you lately, so I want you to have the same opportunity to work through it as dad and I do. Sometimes, the answers come from talking it over with someone who sees things differently because they don't live with us. I want to make sure if you have any problems, and I might be one of them, that you get some advice on how to feel better. Does that sound good?"
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
How bad is it for me to say that this is a lot of effort and I'm really struggling to think like that?
The thing is, that is exactly how I would always have said it, and I really doubt she'll take me up on it. Because over the summer I explained I was doing that and offered it and she shuddered and said no.
I guess if she doesn't want to go she doesn't go.
Last edited by Maybell; 10/16/1405:37 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
It's a tough call. If she had physical symptoms, what would you do or say?
What if you said, "let's go see Dr XX together for two appts. You don't have to say anything if you don't feel like talking. If you don't want to go back after the 2 appts, we'll talk about why that is and go from there." Give her some control or her life.
If you interview the provider, you can also ask them for suggestions for approaching her if she's really against going.
You could also add a mom/daughter lunch or dinner to the day.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
it's just nice to be noticed.