H had the kids last night so I asked if he'd keep them later at my house and put them to bed so I could go to cocktails with friends at a very fancy restaurant in town that I never got to try. He said sure.
Long story short, I think I picked up an admirer. He overheard me talking about a couple of books and added a few to the conversation and my friends got ALL excited and were totally pushing him on me, Yikes!! But at the end of the evening he said, hey, read this book, it's only 150 pages, and then come back and let's talk about it. They got the GIGGLES.
The guy is all of 25 so this is going absolutely nowhere but it is nice to be admired by a stranger.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
This separation is becoming interesting to me because if I can keep my cool then it seems our dynamic is changing to be more communicative. Not rushing things and being satisfied if we can just solve our problems together would help a lot. Whether or not we manage to reconcile - which I hope we do. But I'm going to have to backburner that hope for a while till I get my chit together.
You're getting there.
About your girl, it's probably more like oil and oil and you know what can happen when sparks fly around oil. That's what I have with S21. He's a great mirror for me to see myself. Find a really great person for her, do your research. (for you, too)
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Find a really great person for her, do your research. (for you, too)
What a fabulous idea! And it's advice I'm going to pass along tonight to someone I know and love... my D20's BFF.
She came over last night to get the lay of the land, as she's cat sitting for me this weekend while we head to NY to see my D20. We wound up in the kitchen (where else?) and she told me that she and her mom are really fighting. I just asked some questions. Oddly enough, she says that she's exactly like her mom was at her age. I wonder if her mom sees this? Her mom is my friend, but I'd never enter this one willingly.
Anyway, I certainly can pass this along to the daughter. I appreciate that insight! And for sure, I appreciate the fact that D20 and I are finally past this. It took a lot of pain to get here, though.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
How do I evaluate, beyond getting good input from our school counselor who I trust, whether or not the person I've found is really good? Burned twice -- feeling insecure about my ability to find a good person.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
How do I evaluate, beyond getting good input from our school counselor who I trust, whether or not the person I've found is really good?
Interview them. Construct a few questions before you set up an appointment and evaluate the answers or how you feel when they say what they say. Ask them what they would do if your D says something that you and/or her dad needs to hear but he/she needs to gain your D's permission to bring up the topic... Ask how he/she gets kids to open up regarding the issues that bother them the most? Feel out their personality, and take a look at your kiddo and really see her for who she is and what type of person elicits the most openness with her. You'd be surprised at how much you actually *do* know.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Re: the admirer, it IS nice to know someone is interested in you, even if you aren't interested in following up! While knowing you are likeable/loveable has to be developed from within, it certainly doesn't hurt to have outside sources affirm that
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Got my hair cut today and made an appointment to get it colored reddish next week. belly dancing starts in November. Shaved S6's head. Wild and crazy is coming together. Having a 25yo stare and boldly follow up in front of a group of my friends is the cherry on the sundae.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
