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#2496647 10/13/14 01:53 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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igit Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
http://http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=newpost&Board=20www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=newpost&Board=20
ouch part 5


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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igit Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I hope this worked. Igit here! craziness continues. this weekend I got up Saturday and planned on taking kids to pick apples at an orchard. Wife asked me why I got to do all the fun stuff with the kids. I told her she could go if she wanted! she said no she didn't want to go! Anyway plan for day was she take kids to volleyball and then I would take to pick apples. she called after volleyball and asked me what I was doing! I told her I was working and that she could take kids to pick apples! I was going to leave town for the night. she asked if she could drop eye drop medicine to me at office. I said not necessary I would just see them tomorrow.
anyway I stopped home to get my stuff to go to cabin and she was at home. asked me if I wanted to go with them to pick apples. I said no I made other plans. then I then told her something needed to change with the living arrangements. I left it at that and left. This morning at 530am when she was driving to work I sent her a text and told her I wanted to talk to her tonight. she then called> I should not have engaged in call, she started to push my buttons. I told her I couldn't be living with her while she was still involved with OM. she told me I wasn't listening to her! I didn't trust her and she was sick of it! She said she wasn't involved with him any longer! I told her I understand your frustrated by I didn't believe her! She was at his home 2 months ago and I had no reason to believe her! Anyway then she claims she wasn't happy with our M and wanted out! I told her that was apparent with A and I wasn't going to stay with her until June under the same roof. She said she wanted to work things out without attorneys. I told her then call her attorney and tell him that and find out what to do! She said she wanted to go mediation route to keep attorneys out. well what she doesn't understand is mediation is in place just know date has been granted for a prelim hearing! She claims she hasn't spoken to her attorney in 2 months. Anyway my options on this are 1. stay in home with her and continue to take kids to school and continue GAL, 2. ask her to move out and go dark with no contact, and just see her at mediation which sounds like it would start sometime around holidays! 3. me move to sisters home and go dark, let her see what a D will be like without me! just looking for feedback from vets


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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igit Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I worked late tonight and wife called 3 or 4 times when I didn't get home normal time. I didn't answer, she is a control freak and I need to keep GAL and show her i am going to be better than okay with out her. I love her but I am not going to wait around for her to come back.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
She filed for divorce but still wants to know where you are? You've got a weird one.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
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igit Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Definitely she has control issues. being together for 19yrs she doesn't realize how much I do for her! She is in a lot of pain there is no doubt in my mind! I haven't given up hope! I don't want to be nasty or unreasonable in D proceedings! it just hasn't even really started yet! I am not sure what she is going to do with living arrangements! My gut is telling me not to move out! Let her if she needs to! It may help the situation as far as her seeing the impact on our families lives. I think her childhood issues are definitely a part of this hurt and pain she is experiencing! She knows I still love her and have made impactful changes in myself! Its hard to tell her anything! I told her feelings can change! Don't give up on us! But it goes in one ear and out the other!


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
my waw is missing the facts that I am on defense team! She is on prosecuting team. she needs to have her attorney move this along! I told her I am not going to be the wrecking ball of our family! Its all in her court


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I could use some advice from some of the vets, Mr Bond, Starsky and any others. I talked to waw this weekend and told her something needed to change. I couldn't go on living like this with her. I know we had some problems in our M but the big problem is this A. She didn't say a word. The nxt day she told me I don't trust her. I reminded her that I saw her car in his garage 10 weeks ago and I didn't trust her. Not much has been said to each other this week. I have been working late and staying busy. My questions are I know she is not pushing any thing with her attorney. She claims she has not spoken to him in 2 months since I was served. Her feelings for me our not there. She says she doesn't love me anymore and I told her that was apparent to me by her actions. If A is over how long might it take to get om out of her system. She is coming into my office to train my new book keeper this Friday. Book keeper is a very good looking single 30 yr old girl. My waw was always jealous when any woman ever spoke to me. My waw may think something is going on between me and this girl. I am not interested in any other W at this point. So I hope W does get jealous. I am hoping that if A is over that she might be able to see what she has done and try to reconcile. Time will tell


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Waw, went to my office yesterday to train my new book keeper. New book keeper is 32yr.old drop dead gorgeous. We have talked about my sitch and she dressed up and looked her best for meeting. My wife came home after the meeting and didn't say a word to me. I had plans to go to a function at are church and said my goodnight to kids. WAw followed me to my truck and asked if I was going to ask her how training went. She then asked if I had talked to her since she left. I told her no I hadn't talked to her and then I asked waw how it went. She said fine. I ran the idea of waw meeting the book keeper by my DB coach and she was all for it. WAw has always been jealous of any woman talking to me through out our m. I my waw is out for the day working on school project. I figured she would react one of 3 ways. 《Her thinking I am having a fling with her > 1.she be happy 2. Jelous , 3. Just keep it in and not say anything about it until later date. I think she is between 2 and 3. I need to keep moving forward and although nothing is going on with this girl, it was good for wife to think about her.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I had a great weekend with the kids. Lots of activities, cooking, apple orchard, church programs, waw took of sat.morning to work on school project. We never heard from her until today when she got home around 5. Definitely she has some anger issues, trying to get under my skin about putting a pie dish away. She is something else. I am starting to feel like we all might be better off without her in this state of mind. I think she is really getting frustrated with the kids and church activities I have them all involved in. She is showing anger,but I do think she is starting to realize that I am not the one to be angry with. I mean 17yrs m,19yrs together, 3 kids,that's not an accident, she is one that committed adultry, she is wrecking the family structure, she is divorcing me, I am mentally in a better place than she is.


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 151
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Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 151
Advice from various attorneys I have talked to lately:

1. Keep your a$$ at home.
2. Keep your pecker in your pants.
3. No booze
4. No girlfriends
5. Don't do anything stupid.
6. Spend time with the kids.

Sounds reasonable to me. :-)

FD


Me:40
W:39
M:Dec 95
Split: Jul 14
W Filed: 9/16/14
Several Children
(including adopted)
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