Hi south. Seems you have it worse than me. My W comes home most days and stays on e a week. She has girls on Friday night and brings then home sat. She was home last night a spent this morning at breakfast crying and telling me her problems. Dooooh.
W sees daughter for one hour on a Friday they go to costa together and then once every 5 weeks she stays at MIL with W for the Saturday evening and I pick her up on the Sunday afternoon.
To be honest I like it like that as kids keep me busy and sain.
Not sure what will happen if and when W gets her own place which will most probably be a bedsit . Suppose daughter will stay with her a lot more but not sure how that would work out financially for my W as she will have barely enough to live on herself . Once again something W didn't think about .
Feel like sending W a text telling her to make more of an effort with the kids but realise that's not my job anymore .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Hate being in limbo land . Wish W would be upfront but then I'd expect I'd still hang in there waiting for her to change her mind and see sense .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Sleeping I'm ok when I goto sleep but after about 6 hours I wake and the can't get back to sleep. Does this get any better . It's a pain waking up at 0530 every morning . I am using Passion flower tablets but it's once I wake up my mind starts thinking about things and then I can't go back to sleep . I realise that my kids are the same .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
I've been awake since 3:30 a.m. Same thing. I just can't stop my mind from racing and trying to figure everything out. I think probably the only thing, besides medication, that might help is time. It will take time for the anxiety to pass and for things to feel normal and right in our lives again.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
South74. Sleeping is tough I used to be head hit the pillow alseep but know lucky now to get 2-3 hours without waking. You seem to want to wait for your W to return. You are a very strong individual. It would be easier to cut and run. Keep working on you and see how it develops. At the moment my wife is going from ice queen to crying about her problems and Iife. It's a tough station and if you decide to stand then that's your decision With my kids I try to keep them away from the details of W"s friend as she is still their mother and when they look back in 10 years they can make there own minds up It kills me that I can't tell them how I feel but they are kids so they come first. Take care
Sleeping I'm ok when I goto sleep but after about 6 hours I wake and the can't get back to sleep. Does this get any better . It's a pain waking up at 0530 every morning . I am using Passion flower tablets but it's once I wake up my mind starts thinking about things and then I can't go back to sleep . I realise that my kids are the same .
Yes - it get better. I complained about this a month ago and got some great advice which unfortunately got wiped away in one of the board purges. The one that worked for me was thinking of something else before I go to sleep - that seemed to help with the middle of the night waking. Of course when something new hapens in your sitch, I think its natural to go back to the no sleeping bit.
My son just stuck his fingers up at his mum when we were picking up daughter . He really is in a bad place . Gonna sort out some me and him time and things to do .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Can feel my fingers slowly letting go of the rope . Not for myself but my kids . I can't bear to see them in so much pain anymore . S attitude towards his mum is very worrying . Even my mum and dad commented on how lonely and sad he looks . D attitude is a bit better but don't think it would take much for her to end up like her brother .
Why does my W not see what she has done to her own kids . And what winds the kids up is her constant posting on Facebook but then having no contact with them . It like W is finding happiness in a virtual world but doesn't know how to in the real world .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
South -- It sounds like many of us are in the same place (just read rd's thread). The truth is, after awhile, it's hard to see why we should want these people who lie and cheat and cause pain back into our lives. Maybe that's part of DBing as well. Regaining our sense of self and becoming a better person. But once you do become that better person, it's hard to want to be with someone who is totally broken and not improving themselves in any way.
Honestly, it's liberating.
My H is also seeking happiness in a virtual world. I hope he finds it, for my daughter's sake. I'm glad that I can find happiness no matter what my circumstances.
Even now, I think I'm actually a bit happy to be moving on with my life. I don't know where it's going, but I know I'll be better off (without him, most likely).
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Well said, Ahoy. Do we really want these people back after all they have done to hurt us? Why? I believe in commitment, but not to the point of long abuse and disrespect.
I just pray that someday my ex will feel some empathy and regret for how much he has destroyed me. I was a good, loving and supportive fiancé. He will never find someone who will try as hard as I did all these years.
Engaged Aug 2009 Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010 Happily re-engaged July 2012 Discovery of affair July 2014 Separated July 2014 Fiancé is confused about whom to choose Chose the OW Oct 2014
