Walk away wife after 22 years part 2

[South74]

Will post link to old thread when I can work out how to do it.


But thought of something tonight .

You reads lots about affairs dying and becoming booring after they are exposed etc .
But in my situation W is continuing A in secret even though she has left the family home . I Think she is doing this to try and not upset or alienate the kids and MIL.
What if OM is getting her to continue like this to keep the affair going ?

But I suppose the man question is that the A might not never end if they always keep it secret .

[sandi2]

Here's the link to your last thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2484352&page=1

[sandi2]

Do the kids know about the A?

[rd500]

Hi south. You seem really down of late and thinking a lot about your W and OM. Again I am far from an expert but your W has made a decision and that's out if your hands. You can continue to torture yourself daily about it or you can TRY and deal with it. Thinking about makes it worse TRY to put your mind else ware , any ware. Your W did this to you but now your doing it to yourself every day. I honestly hope she realises what she lost and comes back to your family but you have to deal with your feelings. Its horrible and nasty what she's did t and she has no excuse for doing it , none but it's happened you don't deserve this but you have to follow the. DB and DR but also try relaxation tapes or the like. Elkhart tollle is very good look at you tube. I feel your pain every day but my W is not my master , I am I love her but she cannot hurt me forever. I will get through this. With or without her. AND SO WILL YOU. Keep posting but let's hear a litle bit more of how you are finding ways to deal.with it. Again South, I and alot oif others on here and feeling your pain , take care buddy

[South74]

Do the kids know about the A?

Yes they both do.

[South74]

Hi south. You seem really down of late and thinking a lot about your W and OM. Again I am far from an expert but your W has made a decision and that's out if your hands. You can continue to torture yourself daily about it or you can TRY and deal with it. Thinking about makes it worse TRY to put your mind else ware , any ware. Your W did this to you but now your doing it to yourself every day. I honestly hope she realises what she lost and comes back to your family but you have to deal with your feelings. Its horrible and nasty what she's did t and she has no excuse for doing it , none but it's happened you don't deserve this but you have to follow the. DB and DR but also try relaxation tapes or the like. Elkhart tollle is very good look at you tube. I feel your pain every day but my W is not my master , I am I love her but she cannot hurt me forever. I will get through this. With or without her. AND SO WILL YOU. Keep posting but let's hear a litle bit more of how you are finding ways to deal.with it. Again South, I and alot oif others on here and feeling your pain , take care buddy

What doesn't help is son saw her for an hour last night and his first comment to me was that W is so blatantly seeing OM still .
It appears kids are so much better at detaching than us adults.

[Ahoy]

Don't be so sure that your S has detached. He may be just keeping his emotions bottled up. I know my daughter does.
It drove me crazy because she seemed so calm about the situation, and I had to ask myself -- am I the only one who cares and is upset about the dissolution of my family?
But then eventually her emotions come pouring out.
Be ready to listen and support when that time comes.

[South74]

Don't be so sure that your S has detached. He may be just keeping his emotions bottled up. I know my daughter does.
It drove me crazy because she seemed so calm about the situation, and I had to ask myself -- am I the only one who cares and is upset about the dissolution of my family?
But then eventually her emotions come pouring out.
Be ready to listen and support when that time comes.

I will do.

Think my S is angry at times but one of my 180s with son is saying I love him very day and also asking him how his day has been and generally just being there for him and talking to him . Which I have seen such a change in him and I know he said to his sister he likes how close we have become.
Shame it took W his mum to leave to make this happen .
I was such a fool not realising how bad our R was.

With regards D I believe she is in a bubble where she doesn't really understand what's happened . Only the other day she was talking about me and W going halfs on her big Christmas present . I was thinking no way and thinking it was Ws idea then it turns out it was D idea.
S thinks the same that she doesn't really understand what's going on.

[sandi2]

Who does she not want to know about the A? If she is keeping it a secret, there must be somebody she doesn't want to know.

What is most important that would cause her to hide the A? (Her reputation, public appearances, influence, avoiding gossip, etc.)

[South74]

Who does she not want to know about the A? If she is keeping it a secret, there must be somebody she doesn't want to know.

What is most important that would cause her to hide the A? (Her reputation, public appearances, influence, avoiding gossip, etc.)

The kids have told her they want nothing to do with her if she ends up in a proper relationship with the OM.
And MIL feels the same .
So the W is keeping it secret for a few months and then going to make out they have fallen madly in love and in a proper relationship and hope that by then the kids and MIL will accept it .
I am aware of this plan due to snooping when she was home for the 2 week trial .