My Sitch: my H and myself have been married 16 yrs, and like any marriage have had ups and downs. But, nothing I would have ever thought would constitute him hiding an affair with a good friend of mine, as well as the mother of one of my sons good friends that he attends High school with! I don't even know this man anymore..he has said some of the meanest things I've ever heard since I've discovered there affair and 100% supported everything she's said (she said if I wasn't so fat maybe my husband wouldn't have had to pursue her) and done to me! I've caught them in a hotel, and him at her house with her kids when I gave him the opportunity to stay with his son and several other lies I've caught him in! At first he kept saying he just wanted to work this out without attorneys and just be separated..but feel like I was forced to file divorce because he kept threatening me by saying I would get nothing and kept lying about what he was doing and putting this HW before his son. He let her file a stalking order against me by all false accusations (obviously was dismissed) knowing that it would keep me from doing any school activities with our son because she would be there. He blames this whole thing on me but I've been a faithful wife and as sick as it sounds I still love my husband very much, and miss him being at home with his son and I. He blames it on me not losing weight, and not showing enough affection, nagging about helping around house, says I treat him like a child, a pre-existing health condition that could eventually have some affect on me and the list just keeps going! He won't take any responsibility for anything he's done..why? It kills me to know he's with this "friend" putting her before his family! She was married just as long but with three kids and a very sick husband, how can he claim to love somebody that would do that to a husband that is basically knocking on Death's door and leaves her kids home alone all night to be with my husband? She hasn't worked a day in her life, doesn't have any type of education she didn't even graduate High school it obvious she was looking to provide a better life for herself by taking my husband that can provide her a better life without her still having to get a job! What do I do...I want my husband back! FYI.. I did buy the book DB still eagerly waiting for it to arrive
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Hopefully you will receive the Divorce Busting book today. In the mean time. You might want to look at some of Michele Weiner-Davis' YouTube videos. Also, I strongly urge you to speak to a Divorce Busting coach. You are at a very tricky time and need to know that your words and actions are backed by expert advice. Call me to discuss our program- 303-444-7004.
Roberta, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 Roberta@divorcebusting.com
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Thank you for your response...I initially thought I would do coaching but with the cost of my divorce there is no way I can afford it right now...so I thought the book would be a good start! But I'm just ready for this to be over and its only just begun
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Hang in there. Your still on moderation so your posts are not hitting in real time yet. Post small updates often and and you will be off moderation soon. I am no expert here but there are a ton of awesome people that can help you.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
H has been wanting to talk, as well as I about splitting assets without Attorneys involved but as I was on my way to the gym this Am saw H driving the HW from the place they stay together and it just infuriated me! She meets him at our business when he's done working and they drive to the place he's staying during the divorce then he brings her back in the morning!! All while her kids are at home alone all night! And I'm at home taking care of our son! I've been advised meeting with him would be a horrible idea..he's lied about so many things up to this point how could I believe him wanting to split anything with me and following through? Part of me misses him so much I just want an excuse to see him! But he texted me right after I saw the two of them together...I ignored it, he texted again to find out what time we could meet and wanted to meet at 4:30 which I knew would give him enough time to talk and make it back in time to get HW and take to his place. So I texted him back I couldn't do it now and I don't want to interfere with his taxi time driving her around..and understand he has other priorities and his family understands! I know I shouldn't have said that...and now he's pissed again at me and just said ok, he tried and he got the answer he needed! Not sure what he means by that? I hate this emotional Roller Coaster..I just want him back!! Should I stop talking to him all together?
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
I know exactly what you are going through. My husband did the same thing, the affair. I know it's tempting to throw things back at him, especially when you see them together. But try not. Try not to talk to him at all. I wish I would've found this site sooner than I did, I really think I would be back with my husband sorting stuff out. The worst thing you can do after an affair is be very mean about it. I'm not saying you have no right to be mad or upset, but by acting a certain way shows a side of you your spouse has never seen before. Don't talk to him for a few days. You need to clear your mind. Think about you and your son. Because no matter what happens, your son will realize what your husband has done, and it will hurt him.
It's going to be a long road. It's been a month since I found out about my husbands affair, and I can't even think about it or I will go crazy. Take it one day at a time, and it's okay to cry. We're here for you.
Saw H at our sons football game last night, he decided to bring the Hw along with my in-laws...why and how could they support her? Our son specifically asked his dad not to bring her around and that's the first thing he does!I don't know how to handle all this..or what to tell my son? I dont want that example of a relationship built on lies around him. My In-laws try to justify there actions by buying thing for our son and taking him fun places..that I just cant afford!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
Saw H at our sons football game last night, he decided to bring the Hw along with my in-laws...why and how could they support her? Our son specifically asked his dad not to bring her around and that's the first thing he does!I don't know how to handle all this..or what to tell my son? I dont want that example of a relationship built on lies around him. My In-laws try to justify there actions by buying thing for our son and taking him fun places..that I just cant afford!
M:37 H: 38 Married 16/ T20 Son: 16 Caught cheating with HW (also my good friend) 8/20/14 Papers delivered: 9/4/14
